My 94 year old mother has occasional fecal incontinence. I am wondering how “occasional” it is when something else needs to be done.
She thinks I am crazy for suggesting any type of absorbent underwear that may help her. She is very “independent” and wants no help from anyone, especially her daughter (me).
It’s several times a week where she has fecal matter in her underwear. She wears the smallest daily panti-liner and when she goes in her pants, it doesn’t just stay in the liner. I am washing the remains out in the toilet and then washing underwear and clothes in hot soapy water in a bucket. Sterilizing the bucket and then washing the clothes in the machine.
I looked up on the forum and read several articles, but looking for suggestions from others. Are you all doing the same thing or are you using a disposable? I know it’s trial and error, but wondering what to start with? Thank You.
To answer your question, it’s definitely not unreasonable to have her wear disposables. I understand what you’re going through.
If your mother needs her underwear cleaned of feces and fecal matter cleaned out of her shower, she's not "independent".
I'd stop pussyfooting around this. Call her doctor and tell her/him what is happening. Ask for advice. Follow it.
Remove all her underwear and replace them with pull-ups.
Make sure she's not taking immodium and laxatives both. My mother totally screwed up her bowels with her self-medication.
And if she wants free help with this, she’s going to have to wear depends as opposed to a product meant to deal with the last day of a woman’s period.
Since despit her independence, she will not be scrubbing her own feces, she can go along with it willingly to be independent.
If her perineal muscles are weak, she can not control her bowel movements. She might be a candidate physical therapy. Her doctor w=can write a prescription.
In the meantime, she would probably benefit from pull-up type incontinence briefs. There are really pretty ones on the market that will not make her feel like she is wearing diapers. A bidet attachment to the toilet might also be a good investment. It will help make sure she is "cleaner" after every visit to the toilet. It will even help her to avoid UTIs.
A routine with miralax has helped my mom a lot plus removing all pepto bismal and imodium from her senior apartment. She was abusing both and pepto can cause constipation.
Aunt used Metamucil capsules & stool softeners.
Encourage them to toilet after every meal.
Remove all regular underwear from house.
Then heavy padded panties
She refused depends.
But the time came when enough was enough; there is no honor down on the floor constantly cleaning some other person’s sh%t.
At the advice of her caregiver I tried diapers.
Whew! No more down on the floor cleaning.
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