Did you feel that hospice rushed your loved ones death?

A brain tumor killed my father, not hospice.
Advanced dementia and CHF killed my mother, not hospice.
I prayed daily for God to "rush" their demise, honestly, because watching them "live" like they were "living" was gruesome. To want to extend their lives by a week or even a few days would've been cruel.

When it's my time to die, I pray that my final days and hours are as "rushed" as possible, rather than dragged out in a bed holding onto life as if "this life" was all there was.

My condolences on your loss.

You say Dad was already close, he was probably transitioning. Him eating and being alert was probably what they call rallying. They get a burst of energy. After that his body was starting to shut down. At this point he cannot be given water or food. It does more harm than good because the body no longer can digest. The seizures, he could not recover from them because he was dying. Hospice has to let nature take its course. They did not hasten his death. Their job is to make sure the person is pain free and as comfortable as possible.

It seems to me, in reading these posts concerning Hospice, that family is not being told how things work when Hospice is involved? Not telling the family that a person is transitioning or the body is shutting down? In my opinion thats part of the Nurses responsibility to continue to explain what is going on. You have a rightb to ask questions, the Nurse should be available 24/7 or at least a staff member.

When the admitting nurse comes the client, spouse, family member, or friend should be there. Also, anvextra person. This is a stressful time. I know my Mom missed some of what was being said, I was there too.

Hospice is comfort care. By the time a Dr suggests Hospice, there is no more that can be done for that person. They are going to die.

Hospice is end of life care.

It is recognized that death IS COMING. Death is EXPECTED. For many who are dying and for their families death is often now welcomed and hoped for so that the loved one need no longer be in torment and so that the family need no longer stand witness to NEEDLESS suffering for no reason.

The goal is not to delay or prevent death.
Hydration delays death. Giving fluids prolongs the death.
Treatment of infection delays death.
The goal is not to delay death.

THE GOAL IS TO MAKE THE EXPECTED DEATH EASier AND COMFORTABLE.
Medications will be given to prevent agitation and breathing difficulties and to keep the patient as comfortable as can be.
Antibiotics are TREATMENT. They are not given.
Hospice is brought in when treatments are no longer wanted.
When it is recognized that death is coming it is also recognized that death comes often with sepsis and infection. Almost always with dehydration and difficult breathing and fever. This is part of the death process.

I am sorry that hospice itself was so poor at explaining all of this to you.
That is a part of their job.
It is recognized that medications given by hospice may indeed HASTEN death by some moments, hours, even days. They help with agitation and with breathing and formation of phlegm, but they also do suppress the drive to breath.

I am so very sorry for your loss. It is recognized by grief counselors that our tendency is to want to blame someone or something for the death of our loved ones. If we can stay angry at someone or something we don't have to walk into the grief of loss.

Hospice will STILL BE THERE FOR YOU NOW. Please discuss your feelings with them.
Again I am so very very sorry for the grief; to stand witness to the body's last struggles for life is a thing that is terribly difficult to go through. That you were there for your loved one, wanted what you believed best, is a gift you gave that's beyond measure. Please focus if you are able on the wonderful memories you are left with. End of life is never easy to witness, but the memories of a lifetime will help.

Yes they do. My father was also on hospice. He passed a month ago but would still be alive if I didn’t follow what hospice was telling us to do. They actually told me that they stop a lot of the meds when they’re on hospice because their job is to make the patient comfortable at end of life. Not prolong life. So they stop things like diabetes medication, some heart medicine, etc. to speed up the end of life process. Although, my dad’s quality of life at that point was awful and I think, if he had been mentally more stable, he would have wanted them to help rush the process. He wouldn’t have wanted to be stuck in a bed, unable to even roll over, and going to the bathroom in diapers. My father was a very macho type of guy so being the way he was at the end was like his worst nightmare coming true. I did feel guilty over the last few days of his life because if I had realized what was going on I could have not followed their guidelines and he’d still be with us. But that’s also selfish I guess for me to want him to last longer when he was so miserable at the end.

Palliative care and/or hospice are supposed to be about living the best quality of life possible until you die, the unfortunate reality is that there are never enough resources available to help with the first part and from my reading on the forum too many hospice agencies are focused almost exclusively on the second part and offer very little guidance for those not able to research this on their own.
IMO regrets are tied to the things you might have done differently if you had only known then what you've learned since, defending the system by telling people they could have changed agencies or could have dropped hospice temporarily in order to treat problems and then re-enrolled, or could have done x, y and z are not really addressing that reality.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m not sure how your father felt but it sounds like your family was not ready to let him go, despite “getting close”. Hydration extends the dying process as would any treatment for infection which is why I think hospice did not suggest these. I don’t see it as hastening death, more as not interfering with the natural process of dying.

My husband recently died and also developed a very high fever shortly before. Our hospice nurse explained that this is not uncommon. I wasn’t going to do anything about it, as he did not appear to be suffering in any way, but it was comforting to know that it can be part of the process.

When someone signs onto hospice they forgo any treatment, including for infections, unless the treatment is to reduce pain or discomfort. The hydration probably should have come sooner. In my experience, hospice workers were spread way too thin. They didn’t even show up for my mom’s death. But they don’t intentionally hasten death. I’m sorry about your dad.

Many people feel that way.
It is grief, anger, fright all the emotions when you lose a loved one.
BUT....
If you truly felt that Hospice was not responding to your concerns you could have resigned Hospice, called 911 and had him transported to the hospital for treatment.
At the hospital if he needed CPR they would have done so. The result would have been Broken ribs, Cracked Sternum, most likely a punctured lung (or 2).
Giving IV's to a person that has a body that is shutting down. The fluid may not be processed properly and leads to swelling in various parts of the body. The kidneys shut down so they can not process fluids this can lead to a strain on the heart.

Financially Hospice bills Medicare, Medicaid and other insurance. They get paid while they are providing Hospice care if the person dies they no longer get paid so there is no financial reason to hasten a death. What other motive do you think there would be?

I am sorry for your loss.
I am sorry that you feel this way about Hospice but you are not the only one.
Since dad was on Hospice PLEASE take advantage of the Bereavement counseling that is offered.

Oh, to answer your question do I feel that Hospice hastened my LO's death? My Husband was on Hospice for almost 3 years so I do not think they hastened his death in any way.

I don't think it's unusual to feel that way. A friend of mine husband recently passed and when they where sitting vigual she texted me the same thing, but she doesn't feel that way now, looking back. Emotions are high at this time, and we often look for someone, something to blame.

Seems to me there job above all else is comfort, to make sure the patient is comfortable

More information would be helpful.
Please take care of yourself

Hospice does not exist for the sole purpose of killing patients. They exist to provide relief to patients and their families during times of end of life. I am sorry you did not receive the help you needed.

You mention your father being close to death. Generally that implies that the time for death grows more iminent. My personal experience with hospice for my mother was very positive. I realize others may not share that sadly.

Hospice services are available after death to remaining families. Perhaps you can consider reaching out for clarification that might help you process your concerns.