Why does dementia seem to take over not only the patients life, but loved ones around also?

Wow!! So many great ideas and suggestions. I have already gone through Alzheimers with my Uncle, Cancer with my Mom and Pneumonia with my Father (all
three are now passed on), we(my husband and I) are now dealing with his mother who along with cancer has paranoid delusions. She is in a wonderful care facility and is getting wonderful care, but we are the ones helping her and dealing with family that is not supportive and will call and yell at my husband and tell him that they hate him (it is sad as they are his older brothers who live in another state). It is stressfull most of the time, but as I was told years ago by a doctor, if you dont
take care of yourself too, you will crash and burn and not be able to help your loved
one!!! I am still learning how to do this and not to be a "super Woman". Did I mention that we also have our own business and are trying to find time to work???Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated!!!!
Thanks

Sigh, I will have to agree with ladee. My Mom has been in a nursing home for over 2 1/2 years. She has other health issues besides dementia. I was unable to care for her 24/7! It would have KILLED me to say the least. I have a full plate as it is. My husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease 2 years back. Now as far as she gave me life,yes ,but I am sure if she were not in this state she would not think I should give up my life. I would be no good to her or my husband if I did. TAKE TIME FOR YOU AND BREATH!

I so understand and yes somedays you just want to scream, I have been taking care of my mom with dementia for 6 years but I do it because I love her, many hugs and prayers for you

Amen to the statement kitty1854 said. She is so right. And ladee was right on the money too. Please make time for yourself and family now while you aren't burned out. It crucial!!!

Because the person suffering from dementia is now defenseless and has no "voice" so any family or loved one has to become that person's advocate, and they have to do so 24/7.....no different than having a 2 day old baby. Luckily for most of us, our babies at least slept. I have had preemie twins, one with CP, a paralyzed father, a husband who had a heart attack and 5 knee surgeries and a mini stroke....and now those events all seem like a walk in the park compared witnessing what my poor mother has to endure thanks to dementia.

I can not stress this enough.... you will have to MAKE time for yourself and your family, you will not GET that time.... now is the time for you to start having some back up, to plan some time away knowing she will be well taken care of.... I am so burned out, I can't think straight most of the time... am planning changes in my life and have to follow thru, I am lost in Caregiver Never Never Land.... please take care of yourself... all the love in the world for your mom will not replace the energy it takes to do this job.... you are in my prayers...

Yes, to your first sentence. They'll unwillingly or unknowingly pull you down with them. Therapy, self care, respite care is imminent. When the plane's going down, put the oxygen on yourself first. AND no one can take advantage of you unless you LET them. Let's make sure too that we vote properly so that the elderly are not forsaken over the abuse of people who don't work/pay taxes. Some states are doing drug checks as employers do. With children on welfare being taught not to work but to accept welfare, we need to make sure we vote properly so that they get help at an early age. When we know better we do better. Good luck to you, and get help for your Mom. She doesn't understand, but your little boy will remember the memories of your getting help, and this in itself is a good lesson for him to learn. Don't wait til you become sick to say: "I should have hired more help". Take care and a big hug.