My dad is in the hospital right now. I'm worried about what Mom can do if dad will have to go into a nursing home for long term. They lost their home and everything in a house fire just a month and 1/2 ago. They are both 78 on medicare and are both in assisted living right now. They have SS and dad's pension and they have some savings. dad has Alz which has gotten alot worse since the fire. I'll say more as people reply. I have more concerns and need to know what to do. Iam lost. Thank you
One thing I need to correct from my previous post is that Medicare now only covers 20 days in rehab not the 100 I stated
Some suggestions, like Veterans Admin, if he qualifies, and other helps are out there. God bless you.
Kilmar I think you need as someone suggested talk to the social worker at the hospital and she should know what the options are for your parents. Start looking into subsidized senior housing and what kind of allowances may be possible from social services. remember that medicare will only cover 100 days in a nursing home for rehab following the qualifying days in hospital.. the social worker should be able to tell you what the spend down requirements will be for Medicaid.
amott I can sense how very worried you are about your situation if it becomes necessary for your husband to leave home. It always helps to know the facts and then you know what rescources may be available to you. The common perception is that Medicaid will take everything and I will only have my SS and I can't live on $1000 a month. Instead of panicking you can do some searches on the web and find the facts. Your local area on aging office will be able to help you with a lot of information. I know you will be able to keep the house if you own it and one car plus all your household effects and depending depending what other money you have and income some but not all of that will have to go to your husbands care. Then if your income is really low you may qualify for some assistance. I am slightly younger than you so have the same worries but the picture is not as black as things to be painted. i hope that helps a little. just ignore other peoples negative comments unless of course you have always wanted an excuse to live in a tent there are lots of books on collecting wild edibles too if you get peckish. Hugs. Time to worry when you know the facts.
Looking back, what we should have done was had family members stay at the house with my FIL on a rotating basis, and let mom do her rehab skilled days in the NH by herself. She would have been much better off if she were there alone recouperating, with us visiting her. Not saying this is the solution for everyone, but if hindsight is 20/20, allowing the person to rehab by themselves and focusing on getting better without having to think for someone, or always worry how their other half is doing.
The comments above that offer meaningful suggestions are helpful, but as many have suggested, there is very little help from anyone other than family members, friends or charities.
Those of us who are lucky enough to be in reasonably good health in our senior years can certainly entertain survival options that speak to a drastic change in lifestyle, however, that is most likely not the case for many. I think the answer here is for family to help out as much as possible even though in most instances it is not the most desirable resolve for son or mom. Every situation is so different and individual to those who find themselves in such a position that it is impossible to give any meaningful advice.
My advice would be to evaluate whatever options you have and execute those options that best fit the circumstance. Don't depend upon help from government, however, if there is help available there, by all means take advantage of it.
I applaud you for your concern as to what will happen to your mother, but beyond concern, start finding a way to convert those concerns into practical changes that you can live with which could mean taking on more responsibility than you may have anticipated.
Parents don't want to be a burden to their children any more than the children want to shoulder their parent's later-life issues. But, there comes a time in all of our lives when we have to make changes that we could not have imagined.
Give your mom as much support and help as you can and know that it is the right thing to do. When all is said and done in the end, you will know that you did what you could when you could. After all, there is nothing more important in life than family helping family...... And, if you won't or can't help out in this situation, you simply have to live with that too.....
Good luck!!!!
I do hope the social workers at the hospital are able to give you good advice...
Are you worried that your dad will need the Nursing Home for health reasons or due to dementia? What does your mom think about moving to a nursing home? Are there any continuous care communities that would be a possibility? Could your dad return to the Assisted Living with extra support in place? I hope thinking about these things will help you. Do you have people to give you support at this time?
And OliviaC, I just had to laugh....my family has always said that my mom and dad will need to get rooms in different wings of the nursing home or maybe we'll get them settled in two separate homes in the same town and we'll all have a little peace!
Are you concerned about your mother's emotional state if they separate?
ba8alou - good question! klmar63 - was your father or mother in the Military? VA assists with this type of care too. It benefited my father. Also, since your mother is so young, you need to check into Medicaid for your father. They allow for a split of assets so that mother will still be able to hold on to half if his costs spend down. We are checking into that too.