Watching a loved one's rapid decline is the most difficult thing I've ever experienced in my life. I've never lost anyone this close to me. The last two months have been filled with worry, sadness, lack of appetite, and inconsistent sleep.
Dad is in hospice now (just accepted this week on Tuesday). I spoke to the doctor today and I mentioned that my father hasn't had any food or fluids for the past week. I told him that I knew he cannot tell me exactly how long he has left but I wanted to know with the lack of any intake what was his estimate. He told me he didn't expect him to make it through this weekend and he apologized.
I can't say I'm surprised. I really didn't see my dad making it to the end of the month at this rate. I barely slept last night. I don't know how to get through the anxiety of waiting for the "final call."
Hoping that you will find comfort and peace during this difficult moment.
Wishing you peace within your heart and faith that life is eternal.
In short, whatever comfort you can find, guardian for his journey, and peace for yourself, do avail yourself.
I have often prayed the same way as you, because I hate the idea of viewing God as a slot machine, Santa Claus or a genie who will grant all of my wishes.
I know that believers are supposed to pray for what we desire but also include “Thy will be done.” in the prayer, which is very hard to do in these situations.
Some prayers are answered the way we want and others aren’t. We never know what will happen. I do feel like prayer helps, no matter if it’s to the universe, God or both.