How to keep from going crazy while caring for your mother & not having a life?

second life helped when my mom was ill.. this time around with my father i now have a husband and am pregnant, i totally feel your pain. but if youre looking for people to talk to second life is deffo the way to go. I became so close with a few people on there i got to spend a month in london! it was awesome.

It is no picnic, and knew it would not be. My mom was the best and I know she is alone and frightened. I try to be what she needs. That ole dementia gets in the way. That stubborness, that looking at things not as they are. But all in all health wise she is doing well. I cannot change the rest. I still hug her and tell her I love her. And then I weep as I want my mom back as she was so bad and it is not going to happen. I do feel like my husband and I as a couple are suffering. But he is so kind and wise and he does understand. His mom is 90 and we may be taking care of her too. We just don't know what we are going to do if and when we get the call that they have found a kidney for him. We pray and we just keep on keeping on.

Going crazy at times is part of it! I am the caregiver to mom and dad. They are both dependant on me fulltime. I had to give everything up in my life to do this but I am a firm believer that it is my job!! I have a sister but she doesn't help at all. She might visit once a month if that. Just hang in there and take one day at a time! You will be greatly rewarded for your efforts!!! Right now just be blessed that you are able! They did the same for you at one time.

I'm also caring for my elderly mother and currently without a life outside the home. Sometimes I wonder if it's all my own doing. I know my sister and brother would have refused, and would have either hired someone or placed her in a facility. Personally I've always been a do-it-yourself type and never like paying money for something I think I can do myself just as well. :)

That said, I know it's not for everyone. A lot depends upon your ability to be by yourself, and still find enriching things to do. I doubt I could have survived this without the internet and my Kindle. I'm fortunate that my mother doesn't require that I be in the same room with her, so I'm able to go off and read, or sew, or watch movies. I find it helps to schedule yourself a little bit, if your into that sort of thing. Maybe an hour reading, and hour looking up recipes, and hour cooking, an hour watching a movie...that sort of thing.

I'm older (63), and a bit of a loner, so I realize this would be much more difficult for a younger, more sociable person. Which is why I don't fault my siblings—everyone has different social needs. It HAS taken a while to adapt myself to not being able to come and go as I please. But change is a part of life, so I ask myself — can I deal with this right now? So far, the answer is yes, but it really does come down to taking things one day at a time. I wish the best for you and your mom!

similiar experience with ours....
my dad is Denentia patient, my mum is the main caregiver, i and my sister will take turn at nite....he'll search4us if one of us not in his sight....the others will lie to him that i'm bathing, while actually i'm out for activities....
pray for all of us, both patient and caregivers, which can get a balance in our lives.
the patient will seek for us as he lack of safety and feel lonely. try get him/her busy in something, like telling them story, make them think thru conversation, pass the Bible for them to read, etc....
we're trying our best, everyday, to accompany him.
God is always with us, don't worry :)

I am in the same boat with my husband. One day at a time.

If you have time to be on the computer, try Second Life. It helps even to have contact with online friends. I have made some wonderful friends there. Take care and hope you get some respite soon!

My heart goes out to you. I am in the same situation that you are and am going crazy too. Mom has dementia and has had brain surgeries from a fall that she had and I feel like I am the one losing my mind and health. Mom is to be evaluated by a nurse and social worker from an aging care agency today. Part of that is to get some relief and get out a little bit, but she does not allow me out of her sight. I actually took a bathroom break and stopped by the computer to glance at something and she came on the hunt of me! If I go outside, she is constantly going to the doors and windows hunting for me! It is like Mom's body, but she just isn't in it. Just to let you know that you are not alone and my prayers are with you because it is a tough life. Please let us know how you are doing, because we care when you think no one else does. Take care!

U or mom have past or current church involvement? Many have parish nurse programs, they may be able to give the shots in your absence, or give some referrals. Many communities have some friendly visitor programs or sliding fee respite. Check w area aging agency-they can give some overview or referrals. Also hospice might offer something secondary to dad's passing. Also, neighbors or co workers who are nurses or have siblings that are nurses. Ask around!!! Good luck. Ladee's right-we've all gone crazy-welcome to the club!

Going crazy is part of the job.... sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed... we can relate.... and most are doing this job alone also.... surley there is a way to get the injections, possibly you can pay for that part yourself??? I don't know how that works.... others will post and possibly have some suggestions .... come back and let us know how you are doing.... we care... and most of us are already crazy... so you'll feel right at home... hugs...