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My elderly mother lives with sibling who has a PO box in his name and asked all relatives to send moms mail there. This sibling has been slowly isolating mom from family, but especially from me. Mom and I have always been close and she loves hearing from me (when sib allows a call). I recently had her card sent back to me "return to sender " "vacant" "address unknown". I know the box is open, not vacated, as other relatives cards got through to where she resides. We all addressed envelope the same. Feeling this was just one more way they are isolating her from me, I Consulted with my local post master, why it's tagged "vacant"? They said someone must have given the card back to post office counter saying the person it's addressed to (my mom) is not someone at this po box. That's the only way that would have happened. Does anyone know if this is a federal fraud offense? Knowingly re routing an elderly persons mail, who is in your care? I tried to read US mail code 1708, but its tough reading.

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Oh dear.

Your mother's mail ought not to be intercepted. It is addressed to her, it should be delivered to her without interference. Of course, yes, you're not going to hear any arguments about that.

What would you like anyone to do about it? All the other relatives' cards got through just fine, and you have been able to have telephone calls with your mother - so no isolation issues, APS won't stir. US Mail is not going to launch an investigation into one letter returned on one occasion by one sibling having a hissy-fit with another.

In your place I'm sure I'd be tempted to send a post card to the sibling himself, printed with "can you not be a dickhead, please?" for all the world to see - but DON'T do that because it would not help.

How about just sending your mother an oversized, pretty post card that she can enjoy and display? - and which caregiving sibling needn't get paranoid about because he can even read what you've said (which of course will be loving and with nothing at all about him in it).
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Curious, is the sibling caring for your Mom getting any help with your Mom's care? If not, it is extremely exhausting work and she could be slowly breaking down from the stress. There has to be a back story here. The sibling could be resentful that others are going on with their lives while she is working 168 hours a week caring for your Mom.

Maybe it is time for your Mom to look into senior living if it is within her budget. One positive would be that your Mom would be around people of her own generation. And that your sibling can once again breathe and get back to her life.
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