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NotWell --I have always dreamed of travelling. When I had reached age 23, I had already travelled to Japan and Hawaii. I had dreams of moving to the states, and then fly to Europe during my vacation leaves. Then mom had dementia, and I stayed home to help father. Father has told us 8 kids that the boys would split the land into 3 and us girls - well,our husband will provide us the land. I am now age 47, single, and 2 bedridden parents. I have spent the other half of my life caregiving for my parents. The boys got the land and THIS house for free. When the parents die, oldest sis (she just moved in last Saturday) and I will be homeless. We are going all the caregiving, but my brothers get the prize. Our land is in prime location. My aunties of the surrounding area sold their land for over a million dollars. Sucks that my brothers will get prime land and sis/I will be out on our own. So, I know what it feels like to be bitter, angry and resentful. Try to put yourself in my shoes. I have nothing to show for staying here to help my parents. Nothing. Sigh... It helps when I don't think about the injustice of it all, though. =)
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Bookworm,I think you hit the nail on the head. It is best just not to think about the injustice. I think it just makes us bitter if we give them to much thought. I once heard someone say, "Why do you let them live rent free in your head?" That just kind of resonated with me. Just this last week I let a company upset me over a totally different issue. My husband got mad at me because I got so upset the blood pressure monitor would not register. Finally I realized, "You Ditz. You are allowing this to hurt you and they could care less." I went in and played with my cat until I calmed down. By the next day I was not mad, but I was prepared to get even.
You are caring for your parents. Do you get paid for your services? If not, I think it is time for you to check into how you can get paid. It just is not right for you to give up the "major" earnings years of your life and end up with no way to take care of yourself. That is even more true in your situation where you could end up homeless. Also, you say your father told y'all this. Is there a will? If not, what he says will not hold much water. State law will prevail. If there is no will, I'd keep quiet about it and when the time comes, let the state determine who gets what.
My sister and I have decided that if we end up alone we are going to each get a camper (1 camper would be too much togetherness) and travel together. We were discussing it & my mother said, "I want to go too." She never liked camping so this is really funny. We have decided we can take her, check her into hotels along the way & have somewhere to go to get a shower in a full size tub. Lemonade out of lemons!
Please do something to ensure you have a comfortable future. You have already given up a lot. talk to you later.
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