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My widowed father has Lewy body dementia and Parkinson’s. He had a fall and was taken to hospital and deteriorated quickly. He was in hospital for four months and the doctors said he couldn’t go home to live independently he would be safer in a residential dementia care home. I will give you some background about my brother and sister. My brother is a drug addict on heroin and has been since he was 19 years old. My sister is a drunk and takes crack . You would think we were dragged up looking at the both of them, but we weren’t. My hardworking mum and dad have given his three children the best of everything and we grew up in the huge house in a very middle class neighbourhood. My Scottish father worked so hard coming from humble working class beginnings with nothing to give all of his children a better life. I have always looked up to and admired the man he is. My mother passed away 5 years ago , so I as the eldest daughter stepped into her shoes this look after him. So he was in hospital for 4 months and I went virtually every day. It took my brother and sister a week before they visited him. My drug addict brother and my sister didn’t have and wasn’t allowed to have door keys to my dads house because both of them have stolen from my mum and dad’s house continuously over the years. My brother must have found a spare set of keys when my dad was in the house before he went into hospital. While my frail elderly I’ll dad was in hospital my brother broke into his house and stole everything that was valuable., his expensive music systems, tvs , expensive jet wash machines, his expensive designer clothes, even taking his hoover!!!!! Absolutely disgusting!!!!!. I have had to change all the locks otherwise he would move in and it would become a drug den for him and all the other druggies he knows. I have found out since dad has been in hospital from dads sister that he has brought drug dealers to my dad’s house because he owed the dealers money otherwise they were going to badly hurt him. Dads sister told me that he was very very shaken up, apparently they went into the house, so not only that but they also knew that he was very frail, vulnerable and living on his own in this huge very expensive property. But dads sister is just as bad as those two all after his wealth not him. She should have told me when it happened not months later. So I had to look for a Care Home for dad which I found so so hard , as I always promised him that I would never do. But it wasn’t my decision it was his medical team’s decision, I am so glad I didn’t have to make the decision because I couldn’t have done, but I know that it is the right decision for him as he needs more care that i can’t provide, and it would have only been a matter of time before he would have had a serious accident in his house. But even though I know it is the right decision I still feel guilty, but I feel guilty about everything even down to leaving the hospital when I have visited him. So I searched and searched numerous Care Homes . Finally I found an absolutely, amazingly, caring beautiful home , as soon as I walked in to the home I instantly knew I had found the perfect home. I wanted the best for him and he deserves everything best. So he moved into the home on Wednesday, already he is happy, content and has settled in. My brother texted me Friday night 8.30pm at night!!!!!! Samantha I have just been to the hospital and dad’s been moved, can you tell me the address’. I need some advice, I cannot have both of them visiting him in the home, my brother would turn up there all hours of the night drugged out of his head causing chaos, and my vile rude , abusive sister screaming and shouting, and robbing anything. I can’t have them disrupt him and embarrass my dad , and also have the other residents disrupted either because the home not only thinks about my dad but can’t have someone’s children disrupting all the residents. I can’t have them risking my dads placement. Any advice

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Do not tell them where he is. I would not even answer the text. Your profile says Dad has a Dementia. Dad should not be giving any advice, brother just wants money. If you have POA, time to use it.

So hope you have POA because then you can tell the facility that these two individuals are not to see Dad. Since Dad has a Dementia, you cannot get POA now if u don't have one but you can get Guardianship and you can use Dads money to get it. You will have more control with guardianship.

To simplify your life, I would not have any communication with your siblings. They have chosen their lives and you do not want to be brought into them, especially if brother has people after him.
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You need POA as soon as possible. Or you need dad to put them on the list of people who can't visit, and then tell the siblings the police will be called if they try to see him. I have an order of trespass against my brother. If he shows up at my house, I call the police and he's immediately arrested, no discussion. Incredible peace of mind.
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IF you are POA or guardian or conservator you can prevent visits if your elder has dementia and is now adjudged as incompetent to make his or her own decisions. If you are POA you can also safeguard all finances by taking control of them; this would mean you have a fiduciary duty to account for every penny into and every penny out of your elder's accounts, as you control them. You could also sell the home and put your elder's money in a trust account to pay for care.
This puts your elder out of harm's way from nefarious children.
See an elder law attorney as soon as possible for an hour to explain your options and you questions.
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