My mom was in rehab and refused to do therapy so Medicare refused to pay for her stay. She had dehydrated herself & kept canceling Dr appts. I finally got her to a Dr and they admitted her into the hospital where she stayed for 9 days. From there she entered a rehab facility and ended up being there for a few weeks until I took her home with me to avoid the high payment they required. I found her a place in a memory care facility closer to me and she is now living there. During the transition she stayed with me for over a week until she got sick with Covid and I had to take her in. She was refusing to eat or drink for me. I had to take her to the bathroom. She had 3 accidents on my couch before I got her some pull-ups. It was very stressful and I lost sleep and every extra minute I had I ended up helping her with something. Changing the pull-up etc. I’m not cut out for that. I’m wondering if I can pay myself for the care and time I spent for that week? Other people I talk to tell me to make sure I write down the time and to pay myself but I have no idea how much that should be if anything. Thanks!
Mom will be spending down all of her assets and going on Medicaid, and the attorney thought, rightfully, that she would want the family to get some of the money before it is all gone.
It took so long for the attorney visit mom, draw up the paperwork and get everything signed and notarized, we had by then had to to hire paid caregivers. Mom has been in home hospice, bedridden, for 4.5 months.
I only care for her about 24-30 hours a week now and have not taken any money. It is not "about" the money. I chose to care for mom before I knew getting paid was an option.
As others have said, not everyone can give up jobs, homes and families to provide 24/7 care with no compensation. We have our own homes and retirements to consider. If this goes on for many more months I may have take some of the compensation that the legal agreement allows.
But, consider thinking of a plan in case this repeats again and again as to what will happen in the future if you have to do it again. Talk to Mom. I see now she is in memory care, so perhaps that means 1) hopefully there is no risk she will end up home with you and 2) if in memory care, she may not have capacity to make such a decision now? if she does not have decision making capacity, then I dont know how that works.....
I hear that you recognize that you are not able to do that and, that is absolutely fine; so glad that your mother is in a 24/7 care facility now; no one person can perform those needs indefinitely.
Caregivers often end up with caregiver exhaustion and, do need self care. You are very fatigued from the " one week" experience on the front lines of caregiving. Take some time for yourself and, give thanks that you could provide the care for the week. I honestly would not worry about " paying " myself for " one week"; even if a payment system is available to allow it; and, I am not sure in your case if there is one. If you feel strongly that you want to explore monetary payment for the one week of care, please consult with an Elder Law Attorney.
Your mother can, if she wishes, replace your sofa, whatever. That's about the size of it.
Clearly you bit off more than you could chew. Do you have POA? And what does mom say about paying you?
Personally, I would be glad that my mother was placed and I would want to spend every penny of her money on her care. I wouldn’t be concerned in the slightest about being paid for the week that you had her.
You chose to bring her into your home. You must have had some time off because you found a facility very fast.
Best wishes to you and your mother.