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I would not feed them a family dinner, not a spoonful. Gosh, at 70 you should not have to care for anyone, be sure you tell her MD that. The MD is the one who orders home care, so if you need more, ask for written orders. Your brother is spoiled rotten, forget trying to change him. Give him to God and let go. He's too old to be of much help anyway. Caregiving is for someone under 60.
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sspiel, I really believe our parents think of us as still being 35 instead of senior citizens ourselves with our own age decline issues... I am pushing 70, and when I first came on the forum one of writers said point blank that I am too old to be doing this, and boy she was right. I use that excuse when I know I can't do something.... and there are times I want to enlarge my Medicare and AARP cards and pin them to my shirt as a reminder to them.

Think about it, how many times have you visited a continuing care facility and seen someone over the age of 60 working full-time being a caregiver? Probably none... there is a good reason... the work is exhausting and it would accelerate our own health issues.

Just because we were born female doesn't mean we were born knowing how to do caregiving... no different than your brother when he was born. He is just coping out because he doesn't want to do the work, which he feels is "women's work". Such very outdated thinking, but that is how some men were raised. How often did we see Dad being a caregiver to Mom when she was under the weather? Never..... the husbands were too busy sitting on the front porch wondering when dinner will be ready :P
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