My dad's blind with congestive heart failure, cognitive issues, on O2 and has balance issues. My mom's deaf, either has dementia or is faking it, has a repaired hip fracture and is extremely agitated and anxious and requires constant attention. My dad has excellent hearing, cannot stand her attention, and gets confused but doesn't know it. With or without outside care there are constant crises that are taking over my life. I don't think there is a solution, other than complete selfsacrifice (I'm the only one my dad will listen to--my mom believes only strangers--never family). I just wanted to post it. I'm planning on quitting one of my part-time jobs to take care of them. It will be hard because I have never enjoyed my mother's company but can't abandon my father.
Deep breath, and one step at a time will get you there, ok? I promise.
2) Do they have a Living Will that spells out how far they want doctors to go in keeping them alive with machines and resusitation?
3) Are they receiving all of the Medicare/Medicaid benefits for which they qualify?
4) Do they have any VA benefits or Long Term Care Insurance that can be used for their care if you are providing such care at home instead of via an Assisted Living Facility or Nursing Home?
5) Do they have burial insurance adequate to cover their final expenses?
Once you have the answers to these questions, you will be in a better position to decide what your next move should be. Otherwise you may only be "robbing Peter to pay Paul" as the old proverb explains.
Good Luck-and whatever happens, do not forget about yourself.
Hap