Ask for pay?

Back in Nov 2023 you wrote us about a 96 year old mother who had dementia and had entered care. You were concerned with eliminating her clothing before "her time". You mentioned "brothers" at that time, but none who needed care. Can you tell us where all that with your mother now stands?

I agree with Fawnby. This is truly a bad idea, and we see now so many end up homeless, jobless and without a job history at all. This just doesn't work over time because eventually you CANNOT do in-home 24/7 care and the person has to enter care. At that point they often end up needing to go to Government to get help with payment for in facility care. That means, on their dying, the government tries to "clawback" every penny they can from house or car. Whomever was living in their home caring for them ends up in a homeless shelter looking for a job.

D. I have a few questions:
How old are you. What is your job?
How old is your brother and why does he need this level of care?
What assets and savings do each of you have?
Does either of you have a home you own free and clear, and do you live together?
This would help with your question and our answers.

It isn't a good idea to leave your job to care for brother. This site has heard plenty from people who did that and regret it. If you don't contribute the max through payroll deduction for social security, your own retirement benefits will be affected down the road. You MUST continue to pay in. If you have health insurance through your job, how will you pay for medical without it? If you have a retirement plan at work, you will no longer have it if you quit, and if your employer contributes to it equally, that's worse yet. Their contribution is a job benefit to you. You won't have that if you are taking care of brother.

As for his paying you, you can't get blood out of a turnip. Is he a turnip? And if he pays you, you'll need to pay taxes on that earning and have social security contributions taken out of it, so do you know how to manage that?

Who says you "have" to quit your job? Actually, it's the opposite. You should get a full-time job and have a life of your own. Unless you are disabled and that's the reason you don't work full-time.

What will you do when brother gets sicker and requires care by professionals?

You have a lot to think about. Planning for your own future without brother is at the top of the list.

You don't give us enough information to provide the best guidance.

Is your brother a senior?

Does he have cognitive impairment? Or physical? Or both? Is he mobile?

Where does he live (in his home, your home...)?

Does he have a legal guardian? If so, is it you? If not you, then why isn't his legal guardian or PoA dealing with this issue?

You should not have to quit your job to care for him. If he's a vulnerable adult then you can contact social services for his county for further guidance.

Do you want to quit your job to care for your brother? Does he have anyone else helping him?

No, it’s not unreasonable to ask to be paid.

Care to share a bit more about your situation?

Wishing you and your brother well.