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So read some questions and answers from way back in 2010 and 2017 where people spoke about similar situations. My mother had a serious stroke in September and got awful care at the hospital. She's had infection after infection and other issues that they didn't treat properly and because we chose for faith reasons and her medical history reasons to not get her a covid vaccine hospital started telling me that no nursing facility would take her. She has been in the hospital for 4 months and now they're telling me I have like a week to get her out of the hospital and if no nursing home or skilled nursing facility will take her, I will have to take her home. She has a feeding tube, is paralyzed on one side and our home is not conducive or large enough to have nurses being there 24/7. Small kitchen and living room that we'd need to put my mother in. Small bedrooms are on second floor, with very narrow staircase. Rooms either don't have furniture now or it's old and broken down, and my mother started to hoard mail and some other things. I'm in the process of trying to clean stuff out, but I have to do that in the middle of doing 10 other things every day plus work, so it is a slow go. We'd need to move furniture, get rid of furniture and purchase hospital bed and other equipment. Plus, my brother is on disability for a heart and back condition and recently had knee surgery and I still have to work and don't actually live in my mother's house. Anybody know of resources in Massachusetts or New England area that I can check out. Places that might be willing to take her at least temporarily until we can get the house settled. Lawyers that will fight for our rights to have a place for my mother. I'm willing to take her out of state if possible so we can get her some more medical care and rehab before bringing her home. That is what she needs. She needs to get off feeding tube. New Hampshire even or any place at this point.


The treatment of my elderly mother and how the administration and some hospital staff has treated me is making me sick. I don't eat well because I get so upset after talking to them and I now often sleep only 2 to 3 hours a night because of how upset I still am at bedtime, and it sometimes only comes from sheer exhaustion.

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There are more fetal stem cells involved in developing your mother's other meds than were ever involved in developing the Covid vaccine.

Choices have consequences, and if a group living environment like a nursing home requires vaccinations, so be it. Others are not required to be sacrificed because of your decisions.

You have to take responsibility for your choices, so home she goes, I guess.
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NYDaughterInLaw Jan 2022
Amen. This OP sounds like soooo many ignorant others who have gone full hog on medicine and hospitals for decades but now, all of a sudden, are having an existential crisis because stem cells were involved in making the vaccine.
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If your mom wants to be admitted as a resident into any facility that uses Medicare or Medicaid $ to run their facility, the facility has the right and requirement that the resident is vaccinated for Covid and gets their booster when it comes due. Same is true for an hospice program that is paid by Medicare. This determination was just upheld by the Supreme Court earlier this month.

Your choices are stark:
- get her vaxxed
- find a private pay only facility that does not do any participation in any Medicare or Medicaid programs. This will be very hard to do as something as routine as an annual flu shot or the pneumonia shot that facilities require of residents is covered by & paid for by Medicare.
- The medical directors at private pay NH will be participating in Medicare so none will be able to get paid to ever see her as she is not vaxxed. She would need to find an outside MD somewhere who does not participate in Medicare. Not ever likely….
- Should you actually find a private pay only place, I’ll guess 20K-25k a month with 3 months up front. & cash up front non refundable paid.
- take her home and you & your family do all the caregiving for her. Being unvaxxed means any In-Home health care companies will find it difficult to do any services for her as they have other clients that are having their care in some way underwritten by Medicare or Medicaid. The IHHS companies right now have a huge waiting list. If they are faced with going to a unvaccinated household or one that is fully vaccinated, vaccinated wins.

Also should this come to an impasse with the hospital and you do not pick her up, the discharge planner can contact APS and ask APS to intervene and request an emergency ward of the state placement for your mom. Happens all the time and that guardian is now in charge of all decisions regarding her. Yes, you can challenge it but you’ll need an attorney for the hearing likely set for months from now and you would have to show why decisions made as her POA or decisions she made while you were her POA were done in best interest…. the Supreme Court decision notwithstanding. Lol.

Just too bad for your mom but that’s entirely on her and her decisions. She could get jabbed tomorrow & get beyond this, get admitted into a facility w/24/7 skilled nursing care oversight; you do realize this, don’t you? Personally I find this a ridiculous hill to take a stand on; no sympathy.
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LoopyLoo Jan 2022
Exactly. It’s ridiculous!
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What does your mother think about having her Covid vaccinations? I mean what does she think, not what does the family think.

What's the basis for your being held responsible for her care - are you her MPOA, guardian, anything like that?
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Faith reasons? Do you think God will be pleased you allowed your mother to not get the treatment she needed and even suffer, so you could feel like a good Christian? Doesn't sound much like honoring thy mother to me.

Consider that God works through people. I don't have what it takes to become a doctor, but many people do. God gave them the brains and skills to help heal people, or at least keep them comfortable as they leave this world. THAT is the work of God, and it's ridiculous to shun that and then ask God why your mother is still suffering. He provided the help to you, and you've decided you know God's will better than He does. You might as well stop all medical treatment if you don't trust it. It’s not as if everything else is safe but the vaccine isn’t.
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sp19690 Jan 2022
God has nothing to do with mefical breakthroughs it is only recently in modrrn times that people have access to treatments against disease and illness. Think about the nightmares the mentally ill suffered through for thusands of years and even modern treatments are not a panacea for many if they don't take their medications. God doesn't care if yoy live or die. After all god created disease as a way to cull the population.
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‘Faith reasons’ are what stop ‘Christian Scientist’ parents from getting medical treatment for dying children. I’ve read nearly all the Bible, Old and New Testaments, and I can’t remember anything about vaccination. If you want to follow the Bible’s suggestions, start with Leviticus Chapter 13 on how to treat leprosy. Then give thanks to God for modern medicine.
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MargaretMcKen Jan 2022
What did you think of Leviticus? It's interesting reading.
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My cousin was 48 when he died this past Monday. He had stage 4 brain cancer and was having seizures constantly, wasted away to nothing. No SNF or hospice house would take him in, on his death bed, b/c he was unvaccinated. Because there was No. Other. Choice., an ambulance took him to a vaccination site & he was jabbed twice after being tested and turned up negative. He was finally, finally, finally admitted into the SNF b/c he had done things 'their way'. And 3 days later, tested positive for Covid, so his 76 y/o mother could not even go say goodbye to her son b/c she has advanced Parkinson's Disease and didn't want to risk getting sick.

The world right now is unrecognizable for all of us. Your mother either plays the game THEIR way or you take her home. End of story. If a man on his literal deathbed, seizing in pain was refused admittance to a SNF due to not being jabbed, that pretty much says it all. And the icing on the cake is that he tested positive AFTER being admitted. There's no winning here.

Best of luck
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Beatty Jan 2022
That is truly truly awful 😥
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Pope Francis says getting a COVID vaccine is a moral obligation and an act of love. “Love for oneself, love for our families and friends, and love for all peoples." The Pope himself is vaccinated with Pfizer.

See the Pope say so on the Vatican's own news page:

https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2021-08/pope-francis-appeal-covid-19-vaccines-act-of-love.html
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sp19690 Jan 2022
He also hides pedo priests so take what he says with a grain of salt.
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I am not going to approach the vax/no vax discussion -
but, know that any facility can set forth their requirements and rules for accepting new patients.
But, given that the situation is such that you are unable to bring your parent home, stand firm, be firm with the hospital and their social workers - you are unable to care for your parent in your home. End of discussion. They will try to reason with you, logic with you, make you feel guilty- don't fall for it. The facility the hospital may find may not be the highest quality, but, at least it could give you some time to research more options.

You could do a hotel with a 24/7 nurse, but that will become very expensive. And with a feeding tube in, don't think a hotel will be willing to have an ambulance pull up and bring a 'guest' in on a stretcher...they might decline the liability.

You might want to lay out your plan A, B, C and D, because with your parent not vaccinated, it will be very difficult finding a facility willing to take her. So, be ready to figure that one out.
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mstrbill Jan 2022
I completely agree with you, except I think in OP's case, she also wants control. She wants to dictate where and how her mother is taken care of =, and under what conditions. She can't have everything she wants. If she refuses to take her home, the state will pursue guardianship and mom will be vaxxed and taken care of properly. OP apparantly doesn't desire this.
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Sorry, if getting her vaccinated means getting her in a NH then that is what needs to be done. You can't expect the Hospital to keep her indefinitely. For one thing, Medicare will not allow it. 24/7 care is expensive and privately paid. Medicaid may not pay 24/7. Then you have will the aides show up or not.
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Why not get her poked with the J&J one time done deal? The sad part she my guess it is not a matter of if, more so when someone gets COVID in a SNF. So better off getting the poked so they have a better chance at survival.
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sp19690 Jan 2022
Cdiff is a bigger killer in nursing homes. Where's the vaccine for that?
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