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my mom just sits at night and tells me about things i haven't done. i try to redirect her but that is not working... she thinks that people are getting in the house all times of the day or night.. i wish i could just take off for a couple of hours but can't no one home but me

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My Mother has dementia and I am not so sure that it is early Alzhiemers. She gets very confused at nite, while working in the medical field with the elderly, we called it the sundown crazies. I see my Mother doing some of those same things. We have built her a studio apt. on our property so I can care for her and make sure she isn't alone. She insisted on her own space so she has a kitchen, bedroom and living quarters in her room and a custom bath. She is very unstable and her memory is awful. Remembers everything from the 1930's but can't remember talking to you about something 2 hours ago. As of today I will issue her medication daily. She forgets and has taken 2 doses in a day so I just can't trust her. I am a believer that she raised me for 18 years so giving my time to her is nothing. She is 88. I agree with msdaizy that there isn't a perfect answer for caring for an elder person but ope your heart with love and it will all work out the way it should. Give time to yourself and your spouse, as a date nite and it will help you cope with the change of your household. Sending caring thoughts to you and yours during the care of your loved one!
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Yes..it's the dementia. I had to explain the same thing to my mom. You tell her that she is dreaming..but her reasoning process is not there. What she see's is all real to her. If you redirect maybe you could say..I locked all the doors and windows. You are safe now. Or just try and skirt around the issue. Say...I will see what we can do to help. It's pretty common. My mom had the same thing when she lived on her own. It might get bad to where she will not be able to be on her own anymore. When mom started getting bad. The doctors told me she isn't safe being on her own. So the option for us was to move her in with us. Check with her doctors about medications that might help. But..it's part of the process, I wished there was an easy answer for you. Good luck.
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selinda, could you speak with your mother's doctor about having a social worker come in to do a needs assessment for your mother. It may be that you qualify for some help. We have to get out sometime or we will totally lose touch. Getting out always feels good, even if it is just to go get a burger and work out at the gym. It is so refreshing to realize that there is still a world out there.

My mother also has a habit of talking about what isn't done and what needs to be done. Some of are things that need to be done because she believes the house is falling down around us. Several people have told her all is okay, but she ends up back at the same place mentally. In my mother's case, I have to repeat the reality. It is because she will act on her anxieties and start calling people. I can't redirect her from obsessive thoughts and she won't be fooled by imaginary fixes, so I have to be truthful to keep her from calling workmen in. This has cost several thousand dollars in the past when I couldn't stop her.
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selinda It is a mystery to me why this happens with Dementia. What is the medication she is taking? My Mom was seeing things similar to this. She was diagnosed and Medicated accordingly. She was OK until she started seeing things horrible things. Then I realized she was watching CSI, her favorite TV show in the daytime with the aid. Then everything she saw was coming into her mind at night like it was really happening. 3 years later she has delusions but happy ones mostly. If you can try music from her past, or movies, this takes my Mom far away to happy time.
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