Hi, all,
First, a belated thanks to this board for all the support the past 2 years. Dad is in Assisted Living now (went in last November) and Medicaid was approved two weeks ago. Yay. This board was a huge support to me even if I did not post often. So thank you.
My question now is this: The facility has allowed my father to manage his own medications but recently he is getting more confused and not storing/taking his meds correctly. The nursing director gave me the heads-up that he is going to switch the meds to being administered by the facility. I am fine with this. But dad is going to flip out over it. How do I convince him that it's the right thing to do? The last time the facility was going to do this they gave him one more try. Obviously it didn't work. At that time my father was livid that they were taking away this part of his control and would rant to me all day for a week. Any advice?
When he begins to rant, say "Dad, this isn't in my control or yours. We can talk about something else or I'll have to go".
Don't entertain the ranting.
one.
This was one of several tips I learned from the smarty folks here. It came late in my caregivers journey - unfortunately I found this site in year five of six - but nonetheless...
The act of politely saying “... I’m gonna go now. I’ll come back on day when you’re more up to a visit” works wonders iIn a variety of situations when the elderly loved one is attempting to take their anger and frustration out on you.
Tell Dad that the ALs policy has changed by State law. Residents are no longer able to have medications in their rooms. Violation of this policy could mean penalties for the AL and his rent going up. 😊
Then if he rants let him. Nothing u or he can do. You can always walk away.
When I noticed mom wasn't bathing herself regularly, I asked the facility to come in and help her in the mornings and mom resisted in the beginning. I finally told her that the hand held shower sprayer was really difficult to use and everyone was complaining so they have to have someone come in and help everybody in the morning to make sure they can manage the sprayer and not slip and fall while doing it. She seemed to go along with that...
It's hard to get into the mode of "fabricating" stories to our parents, but if it's in their best interest...I feel justified.
Good Luck
Whoever does, though, there are - as you have already identified - several steps to Medicines Administration. What the ALF ought to be doing is involving your father in as many of them as is practicable, in line with the end result that: the Right Person gets the Right Medication in the Right Dose in the Right Manner at the Right Time.
So, counting them off...
Ordering repeat px's.
Collecting same.
Storing.
Dispensing.
Following directions.
Taking.
Recording.
What cannot be done BY your father must be done in front of him, and explained to him as it is done, each and every time. Your father's right to refuse a particular medication, and his right to know what he is being offered and what it's for, must be respected.
The explanation must be comprehensible to the person expected to understand it. So for example: with some clients, you'll say "this is the Apixaban" and they know much better than you do what it is and what it's for; with others, you might tell them "this is the medicine to stop dangerous blood clots in your circulation."
The facility ought to have some sort of Consent to Medications Administration form which explains how the process works, and which somebody ought to be asked to sign. This would also be an opportunity to reassure your father that his material rights - to be treated only with his informed consent - will remain intact.
There are two extremely sound reasons for people to be uneasy/resentful/livid about their medications being taken away and then handed to them by staff. One, they may not have that much confidence in the staff. You say your father's not storing/taking his meds correctly? I'll bet he'll come right back at you with "what makes you think THEY will?" Two, they may not be happy that they know what they're being offered.
They are *right* to have these concerns, and the facility must reassure them by explaining their safe handling and administration protocols.
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