My mother has been telling me that the aides in her AL are going into her room when she’s not there and taking her candy and cookies. She found the empty packages. She also says she thinks they are coming into her room when she’s downstairs for meals and activities. I said, Mom, I don’t think they would do that. She locks her door when she leaves and several time it was unlocked when she got back. The AL she is in is a small facility, very highly rated and is very expensive. Well, today I went there to drop something off. She was in the dining room having her lunch so I just got her room key from her and went up to her room. As I was fiddling with the lock the door opened which startled me. One of the aides was in there. I could see into the room and her rocking recliner was moving like someone just got up out of it. I said to the aid “you frightened me”. She started stuttering and said something like “I came in here to get away and get some fresh air - all the rooms here are so hot and stuffy”. Mind you, my mother keeps her room very warm all the time so she wasn’t getting any fresh air in there. I was so stunned and flabbergasted I didn’t even question her. She left and said I’m going down now to bring her back (Mom’s in a wheelchair). My question is, is that something I should report? My mother has had some run-ins with other aides but is afraid to say anything for fear of retaliation. I’m so disappointed in the facility. And feel terrible that I didn’t believe her. I have not told her about what happened today. Is this a common thing that happens in AL? If that has happed to anyone reading this, how did you handle it? Thank you.
Sympathy is out of place. It’s definitely one for admin.
I have known that when aunts roommate was in the hospital, the night shift would come into her room, lie in the room mates bed and watch tv and eat. It was common knowledge. So yes. It does happen.
Justsotired. You might wonder aloud to the administrator if this aide had worked at a NH in her past as you had heard this happened to others. Some of these health care workers are worn to a frazzle from working night and day. It doesn’t make it okay but it is an issue. I experienced this while in the hospital, when my mom was in rehab. Even early one morning when I was a walk in (no appointment) to have blood work done at a National lab, the tech admitted she had just been awakened to come wait on me. She did fine but I do notice this.
Using a key to go into your moms room is to me akin to breaking and entering into someone’s home.
In the 8 years of AL with my folks, and 2 years working in a Memory Care Assisted Living facility, I have NEVER heard of aides using residents rooms for themselves! Report this at once op.
The AL has staff relaxation rooms and lunch rooms to eat. The apartments are the residents HOMES. The aides doing this need to be reprimanded and or fired if it ever happens again.
Get a nanny cam Roger, it's really very simple.
That behaviour shows a lack of respect. Short jump from there to thieving imho.
That kind of person can be a bad influence on other/new staff. One bad apple that spreads rot. Management need to know.
PS I have never come accross that sort of incident before.
I would raise a reasonable and quiet Hades. I would let them know that I didn't believe my Mom and that they cannot imagine the pain of such a thing when she was telling the truth. And I would do it face to face with the admin there.
This is pretty clear to me, is it not to you?
I would demand, if mother is staying there, to allow a camera in the room, which of course means this gang moves on to the next one.
How DARE they.
To me this seems pretty clear.
How tragic. Here is a resident who isn't believed by her family.
My brother accused to me, an aid of stealing. I told him he should never do that, that he agreed not to keep money in his room and if he did so it was his fault. He told and it turned out that he had hidden his money between his towels, not in the book he thought he had. He was wrong.
I would say on what you saw that your mother was telling the truth and it is tragic when workers use elders deficits against them. Awful.
Please update us after you speak to the administrator of the facility.