There is a big difference between having an independant lodger in your home & having a dependant person relying on you for their care in your home.
So I think it would be reasonable to voice your concerns & have some investigation if you are heading into caregiver territory.
Does your Aunt have normal age related problems or something else? Either way, at 88 it is reasonable to assume she will need more help as time goes on.
You could consider going alone to the Doctor first. Voice your concerns. Ask for advice how to proceed. How to get a needs assessment done for future help.
At 88 it is practical for your Aunt to have some of her affairs sorted (if not already). - nominate a healthcare proxy - nominate a POA ? make an Advanced Healthcare Directive - stating her wishes regarding future treatments she would/would not want eg attempt resusitation, feeding tube
Note: not everyone is practical about such things. Your Aunt may prefer not to know or plan. Then it becomes you deciding what & how much you will do.
I wouldnt have called it test for... I would say something like a health check up and add - i have one in two weeks time then divert the conversation to something else. hospitals - tests - are all scary. Its a bit like someone showing you a video of an operation - you just dont need to go that far in showing or telling people.
IMO its important to find out if a person has Dementia and what type because of medications. If Aunt has not had a full physical in a while, use that to getvp her to the doctors. Tell her Medicare is requiring it. Labs should be run. An initial test can be done. If Dementia or ALZ is expected, then an MRI can be done.
Once you get the initial diagnoses, not much you can do from there. I would have her see a Neurologist regularly for no other reason but for medications that may be needed.
I would just assume she has some demtia going on. It's not going to change anything either way for her. Just read and learn more about dementia for you and to help with her care.
Best of luck to you, in this very difficult world of aging
It's not like there's a cure for dementia or any drug to even stop the progression of it. So if your aunt were to test for dementia and score poorly, verifying your suspicion, all you'd do is help her more with ADLs.....Activities of Daily Life. Take her grocery shopping or add her items to your list, help her write checks, help her bathe, dress etc. Based on your description of her symptoms, it sounds like your aunt may indeed be suffering from dementia.
Here is an excellent article from the Alzheimer's association talking about the top 10 warning signs of dementia:
If your aunt gets sick and needs to go to the hospital, ask that she be tested for dementia there during her stay. That's what I did with my mother and she was correctly diagnosed with progressive dementia thought to be vascular in nature. Meds can be prescribed to treat symptoms, like agitation or anxiety. Make sure the exterior doors have locks on the auntie cannot open to prevent wandering, which sometimes happens.
Thank you for your comment. She rents a room from us. She was having financial troubles and we invited her to rent a room from us 6 years ago. I don't know if she has dementia I just know that she cannot concentrate during conversations and she gets confused answering questions. She use to be able to check out herself at the grocery store and now she gets lost doing that. I have no plans on evicting anyone I just wanted some suggestions on what to do when someone refuses to get tested to see if she does have an issue and what can be done to prepare for it.
Welcome to the Forum. You first tell us that you took your Aunt into your home and that she has Alzheimer's dementia. If she does have this, how did you get this diagnosis without her being tested?
I am uncertain why you made the decision to take in your husband's aunt. I hope that you have a care contract with her for shared living costs, because otherwise any funds she gives you will be considered gifting, and she will not qualify to in facility care under any governmental air programs.
This isn't something to be taken lightly. Taking someone into your home makes it their home, and if they are disabled with dementia you cannot simply evict them. You and your husband have some decisions to make now, and you have painted yourself into a corner.
If you believe your aunt has undiagnosed dementia, are not her POA, it is too late to be made that. I would see an elder law attorney or APS now to ask about options moving forward.
So I think it would be reasonable to voice your concerns & have some investigation if you are heading into caregiver territory.
Does your Aunt have normal age related problems or something else? Either way, at 88 it is reasonable to assume she will need more help as time goes on.
You could consider going alone to the Doctor first. Voice your concerns. Ask for advice how to proceed. How to get a needs assessment done for future help.
At 88 it is practical for your Aunt to have some of her affairs sorted (if not already).
- nominate a healthcare proxy
- nominate a POA
? make an Advanced Healthcare Directive - stating her wishes regarding future treatments she would/would not want eg attempt resusitation, feeding tube
Note: not everyone is practical about such things. Your Aunt may prefer not to know or plan. Then it becomes you deciding what & how much you will do.
hospitals - tests - are all scary. Its a bit like someone showing you a video of an operation - you just dont need to go that far in showing or telling people.
Once you get the initial diagnoses, not much you can do from there. I would have her see a Neurologist regularly for no other reason but for medications that may be needed.
Best of luck to you, in this very difficult world of aging
Here is an excellent article from the Alzheimer's association talking about the top 10 warning signs of dementia:
https://alzheimer.ca/en/about-dementia/do-i-have-dementia/10-warning-signs-dementia
If your aunt gets sick and needs to go to the hospital, ask that she be tested for dementia there during her stay. That's what I did with my mother and she was correctly diagnosed with progressive dementia thought to be vascular in nature. Meds can be prescribed to treat symptoms, like agitation or anxiety. Make sure the exterior doors have locks on the auntie cannot open to prevent wandering, which sometimes happens.
Best of luck to you.
You have received good advice from posters so there is no need to repeat it.
Best of luck to you.
APS stands for Adult Protective Services
I have no plans on evicting anyone I just wanted some suggestions on what to do when someone refuses to get tested to see if she does have an issue and what can be done to prepare for it.
You first tell us that you took your Aunt into your home and that she has Alzheimer's dementia.
If she does have this, how did you get this diagnosis without her being tested?
I am uncertain why you made the decision to take in your husband's aunt. I hope that you have a care contract with her for shared living costs, because otherwise any funds she gives you will be considered gifting, and she will not qualify to in facility care under any governmental air programs.
This isn't something to be taken lightly. Taking someone into your home makes it their home, and if they are disabled with dementia you cannot simply evict them.
You and your husband have some decisions to make now, and you have painted yourself into a corner.
If you believe your aunt has undiagnosed dementia, are not her POA, it is too late to be made that. I would see an elder law attorney or APS now to ask about options moving forward.