Hi Jkl2018, Sorry for the delay. I have been hoping that psuskind1 would post what I wrote as I can't find that post. But I can give you some of the points about guilt that helped me.
One important thing is to distinguish between true and false guilt. True guilt is felt when we have done something wrong.
You are doing nothing wrong. You are not a horrible daughter. You are looking after your mother to the best of your ability. And you are not perfect - none of us are. We all lose it some times, or wish we didn't have to do what we are doing etc. That's just being human.
False guilt is felt when we don't live up the the unrealistic expectations of others or of ourselves, We need to be easier on ourselves and know that taking care of ourselves is at least as as important as taking care of someone else.
Also we may feel we are responsible for the feelings/actions of others and feel guilty when they are not happy or behaving well. However, no one is responsible for the feelings or actions of others.
Cut yourself some slack, give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done, and, above all, #1 rule for caregivers - look after yourself. Sounds like you need some time out, some "me" time. See what you can arrange to give yourself more breaks than you are getting now. There were times I lived near the end of ,my patience and I am a very patient person, and I was not doing hands on caregiving. Together with your brother look to the future and see if it is realistic for both of you to care for your mother to the end. Some can and some can't. If you can't it's OK and you are not horrible. There are facilities and medicare if needed.
I like this saying :
When you say 'Yes' to others, make sure you are not saying 'No' to yourself. – Paulo Coelho.
Here's a big ((((((((((hug))))))) from me. Your mother is fortunate to have such a caring daughter and son.
One important thing is to distinguish between true and false guilt. True guilt is felt when we have done something wrong.
You are doing nothing wrong. You are not a horrible daughter. You are looking after your mother to the best of your ability. And you are not perfect - none of us are. We all lose it some times, or wish we didn't have to do what we are doing etc. That's just being human.
False guilt is felt when we don't live up the the unrealistic expectations of others or of ourselves, We need to be easier on ourselves and know that taking care of ourselves is at least as as important as taking care of someone else.
Also we may feel we are responsible for the feelings/actions of others and feel guilty when they are not happy or behaving well. However, no one is responsible for the feelings or actions of others.
Cut yourself some slack, give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done, and, above all, #1 rule for caregivers - look after yourself. Sounds like you need some time out, some "me" time. See what you can arrange to give yourself more breaks than you are getting now. There were times I lived near the end of ,my patience and I am a very patient person, and I was not doing hands on caregiving. Together with your brother look to the future and see if it is realistic for both of you to care for your mother to the end. Some can and some can't. If you can't it's OK and you are not horrible. There are facilities and medicare if needed.
I like this saying :
When you say 'Yes' to others, make sure you are not saying 'No' to yourself. – Paulo Coelho.
Here's a big ((((((((((hug))))))) from me. Your mother is fortunate to have such a caring daughter and son.