I am sure this has been experienced by thousands on this site alone, leave alone hundreds of thousands in the world. But to watch a father who was so capable, so vibrant and robust, so intelligent, and to see him get to the point where you have to feed him spoons full of food and liquid like a baby is so excruciating. I guess there are not good diseases, not sure I would prefer to watch my dad die of cancer, but sometimes this is more than I can take. I try to go to the MC most every day but sometimes I just need to stay away for a day for my own sanity, yet hard not to feel guilt. Sometimes I try to take a saving grace in thinking because of his incognizance, he is not as aware of his predicament as we are. Sometimes we come and visit and leave and it doesn't appear to matter to him. Today, my mom was there and tried to leave and he grasped her trying to keep her from leaving. As said, millions have gone through this so who am I to gripe about it? My dad could fix anything, build anything, do anything much better than I could. A year and a half ago he beat me in golf (not a huge accomplishment). I could hit further but he had the coordination to hit more accurate, now he is wheeled around and needs a hoyer lift to get from chair to bed. I guess there is no question here. Just so heartbroken for my dad. If there is a question, could it be true that he is not suffering as much as those watching him decline? If that was true, we would not be suffering as much.
But we have enough heartache for the both of us.
To answer your initial question in Mom case I don’t think she realizes her condition. Even the recent vision loss doesn’t seem to bother her greatly. She sometimes says to turn the lights on, I say ok, and that’s the end of it. I have no idea what’s going on in her head, but she does not seem depressed, tells me she’s happy, so I have to believe that she is not really aware of her condition and accepts it as normal. She lives in the present. I think that’s a blessing.
I'm so sorry, I know its extremely hard to see our parents in this condition. No one wants to see their once independent parents in this state. Keep holding on and be their advocate. Thinking of you. Sending you hugs.
Dementia is a long tiring journey for everyone
My father didn't have dementia, but he did have physical complications, and toward the end they magnified. It was literally gut wrenching to see this talented man slip away.
You have my deepest sympathy. Take the time off as you need it, because it is challenging to visit and see the changes, as well as to know there's nothing you can do to help restore his memory.
I know exactly what you mean. It's tragic to watch the decline of someone once so vibrant.
My mother is like a non entity. She remembers nothing of any part of her life. I have asked the question to our members on how to talk to her. Got some great answers too.
I don't know why this devistating disease even has to exist. I agree, it might be better with cancer. At least they would still have their identity.
I'm as sad as you to go visit, it just reminds me of how much she's lost and also how much I've lost. It's hard not to be depressed.
At least we have old memories. And, when this life is over, a new perfect one starts in Heaven. At least that gives a bit of comfort.