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Something some of you may be interested in. I have made a hand washing station for my porch from a small (and cheap) pedestal sink with a (not cheap) foot valve. One garden hose supplies water and a second hose carries the drainage over to the downspout drain. The sink was $49 and a used foot valve was $25 but a new one costs $149-199, unless you order one on ebay for $39 from China and wait a month for it to arrive. Plastic pipe and plumbing adapters to the hose fittings were less than $20. So now visitors can wash their hands before entering the porch for a drink from my cooler or eating a snack at a picnic table. If you don't want the foot valve, a cheap standard faucet set is less than $20.
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Gershun if you are counting 4000 steps when you walk you are likely easily hitting 10000 (unless you are a total couch potato the rest of the day).
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I was shocked! My brother thought it must not be counting right so he watched me walk 200 steps while we both counted... and the watch said I had taken 199 steps. My house is 76 feet long, my bedroom is in one end and my office and other bedrooms are on the other end of the house (common room with kitchen, living and dining areas in the middle, laundry just off the kitchen). I also have a 76 ft porch/deck across the front and a smaller 20 ft porch on the back. Because of my back and knee pain, I usually work/walk in spurts then take a break and put my feet up; I have to ice the knee every night now. I have a sitting work station in the kitchen I use as much as possible too. I guess walking out on the porch to keep an eye on the kids or check on the garden and then back into the house to cook or care for Mom just has a lot more steps than I ever thought about. Mom had her first day back at adult day care today, the kids played inside this afternoon and I only have 9,806 steps so far.
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Well Willie and Techie I'm impressed with both of you. I go for a walk and think I'm doing good if I can get to 4000 steps. I'm still waiting for my pedometer I ordered on Amazon to get here and then I'll try to do better.
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I'm impressed Techie, if I don't take my daily 2.5 mile walk to the other end of town and back I can't always hit my 10,000 steps.
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So my oximeter bites the dust after a dozen years and when looking around Amazon I see the "fitness" watch/monitor that measures steps and does an ecg in addition to measuring oxygen saturation for only $12 more. So I decide to try it. I like being able to touch the button and see the time again after several years of not wearing a watch because I always had a clock on the computer or phone. What's really a surprise? I'm averaging 14,382 steps a day in my "sedentary" life! Maybe I don't set on my rear as much as I think I do?
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Remembering soap shaped like a bear. We had one brother, so he would have seen the toy first, and not let us in on any growing fur.

He did not share. Same with cereal box toys.
When my son was growing up, there was no waiting for the toy to pop out with the cereal. We opened the box and searched for it.
That was a rare occurrence, because I did not buy that kind of cereal too much.

When my grandson was growing up, he had a saying about some people: "Not the happiest crackerjack in the box." Lol. My grandchildren would not even eat the crackerjacks, but wanted the toys inside.

I always cooked eggs for everyone. Still do. Even when eggs got a bad rap.
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Funny, I don't remember there being a toy inside. Meh, it mustn't have been very good. Back then they had really good toys in cereal boxes, I can remember collecting jungle book figures that hooked together like barrel of monkeys.
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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.

It grew hair and had a toy inside.
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LOL Luckylu.
I can remember soap that grew fur after you used it - does anybody else remember that?
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Iv'e never washed my hands so much in my life as I do now,thanks to the virus,except for
When I was a little girl,I remember washing them alot one time because my Dad had picked up a special bar of soap in the shape of a Dinosaur from a gas station and it had a little toy in the middle I wanted to get to- which I finally did.
I wish we still had that kind of soap now,only it'd be even better if it had money or chocolate in it.
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Yes, Gershun. Once they have said "Hi!" they are less of a stranger. 😊

Raining softly here today. The sky is grey and overcast so I am burning stuff in the fireplace. The air is still and it's so quiet. Love it. Kitties not sure what to do with themselves. I have a blanket and a book.
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Yeah I get a hug. Occasionally a perfunctory peck on the mouth too. LOL

It's always nice when strangers say hi isn't it Golden?😊
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Gershun: I hear you on reading. Currently I am into a difficult read about the ill-fated Russian sub, "The Kursk." I read at night's end, so ....
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I hear you gals, but surely you get a hug once in a while.

I had an ace evening. Three people said "Hi" to me when I walked the trail!!! 😊
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I zone out when I read too but I think that's the whole point of reading. A form of escapism. I think people who try to talk to you when you are reading probably are not readers themselves.

Yes, hopefully nothing else bad will happen on the near horizon. We can only hope and pray.
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My husband has selective listening skills too. I think any one of us here could yell, "Fire!" and if one of his favorite shows was on he'd be zoned out. Either that or he'd go, "Huh?" and we'd have to repeat ourselves. Of course, I'm probably guilty of same when I'm reading. Books make good company too.

I relate to survival mode. I saw something online that said, "Who rolled the dice in Jumanji?" Hopefully things are on the upswing and no sharknadoes or anything are next.
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Golden having someone to talk to isn't all it's cracked up to be. Especially when that person doesn't listen. I don't repeat myself anymore. I refuse to. If hubs misses something important cause he didn't listen too bad for him.:)

And you have us anyways. We're good listeners.
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Golden,
The trees are listening.
When they are in a bad mood, they respond: "Leaf me alone".

Clint Eastwood sang "I talk to the trees"....so nice!
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And you gals have someone to talk to!!! Try doing it alone.

Makes me think of

"I talk to the trees
But they don't listen to me..." 🎵🎵🎵
(Paint Your Wagon)

The kitties listen to me.

I have the odd moment of real discomfort, but am encouraged that, despite the flood May 2, we have had no increase in cases in the city so far. I am amazed at that and still slightly expecting to see the numbers rise yet.

Time for a walk outside in the sunshine.🌞 I know that helps.

Of course, with my dysfun fam, I have lived in survival mode much of my life.
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No it's not just you. I've had thoughts that if this goes on much longer I'll surely lose it.

The other day we were waiting for the elevator and talking to another couple that lives on our floor. The elevator arrived but there was someone on it and we are not allowed to share the elevator anymore. There was this nice Spanish man who we've spoken to before on it. We asked how's it going? His response "just trying to stay alive" Then the doors shut and off he went. It struck me at the time that his response would have seemed ludicrous a few short mths ago but today seems perfectly logical. Just trying to stay alive. Yep, yep yep.
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Good answer Gershun! Thank you for that!
I keep forgetting, as a therapist often reminded me, it is his condition. I forget, he is not normal in his thinking and words.
I forget, he is not someone I can depend upon.

And, I keep forgetting, I can choose to not ask him questions at all.
Especially from another room! Even though it is tiny living, I should be more polite.

However, he does derive pleasure from thinking he is smarter than everyone. Is it just me, or are others getting to the end of their rope?
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Well, I would tell you Send but that's just me. Gas lighting would mean some kind of nasty intention of sorts and from what you've said in past posts I doubt your DH would do that would he?
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Is this gaslighting?
The electricity is out. Would a normal person share that it came back on right away? Not my hubs. I asked (from another room), what is that beeping? (We have several beeping things to indicate the power source is interrupted.)
Again, I ask, "What is that beeping, is it your phone?
He says, " My phone beeps too".
Say what? Again, I ask, "What is the source of that beeping?"
He says: "The filter". Long pause....
I ask, "Did the electricity come back on?"
No answer.
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Polarbear,

I do believe in reincarnation only because I have always had the feeling of being here before.

I did read some books in my youth that stated "we pick our parents before coming down to earth to get whatever lessons we need to finish...."

If that is true, Why did I pick my mother only heaven knows why! Heavy sigh!!

Thank you polarbear for your thoughts and support!🐾🐾
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Cwilly,

I do like your answer, but I have to ask "is it even possible for my mother to see her error of ways and see my true value?" I will just believe what you say because maybe it's true!🐧


Golden,

I'm sorry! But I think I can speak for many of us on the forum that we are grateful that you were born! Hugs!!!💗


Gershun,

I know you are right! God's plans comes first whether we like it or not! He is the God of all things and He always has the last say!🐈


CM

I wouldn't mine being a mistake--a happy mistake, but I wasn't! I am sorry that your siblings never let you forgot how you came to be! Hugs!!🐁


Techie,

I won't let her words define me. It just hurts to be mistreated and to hear your mother say, "not only she didn't want another kid, but she really didn't want me!" Like I am so bad. This too shall pass!🐕


Send,

I know this is a pathology in our family. I have wasted so much energy, tears, my youth on my mother thinking she loved me. Had she just was always hateful to me all the time I think I would have been better off. But she wasn't and now I just have to accept it! I still love her I just don't believe her love for me and I can't.💙


Elaine,

Your mom sounds like my mother! Yes, my mother is just nuts! Thanks for the laugh! I am sorry that you had a nutty mom. I am seeing a therapist and learning to except that my mother is crazy and I will survive with her or without her! I am who I am whether she likes it or not!💗


Thank you all for sharing your thoughts, stories and for your support!!

💕💕💕
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THIS IS FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION ONLY. DON'T READ IF IT'S NOT YOU, AND DON'T BE OFFENDED EITHER BECAUSE I MEAN NONE TOWARDS YOU.

From reading books and watching shows about reincarnation, a number of people who remembered their past lives said they chose which family, which mother, which circumstance to be born into. Why?

We all have lived many lives before and we came back to experience different things each time for different reasons. Some wanted to finish things left undone in prior lives, some chose difficult situations to be born into because they wanted more challenges, more opportunities to grow and overcome, some wanted to experience wrongdoings so they could practice forgiveness and understanding, etc.

Most of us don't remember why we came back, but here we are. We make the best of things we are given, or choose to have, so we can grow spiritually.

SHELL, I feel very badly for anyone, any child who was rejected by their mother. That is probably the worst pain one could have. I'm sorry you were unwanted by your mother. Her lack of love is her shortcoming, and her only. I hope you can put her influence on you in the past and move on, and not let it affect you negatively in the future.
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Some mothers including mine are just nutty. They are just plain nutty. They have some sort of mental illness that just makes them nuts. My mother always wanted a baby sister growing up. She had one older brother. Always wanted a baby sister. Well when my mother was 6 along came a baby brother. My mother said she cried and cried and cried and banged her head against the wall. Sound normal to you? No me either. I have one older brother, when my mother was pregnant for me the doctor told her he thought she was carrying a boy. She said she cried and cried and cried and cried about it. I’m surprised she didn’t terminate the pregnancy! Well surprise, she had a girl. She was happy about it when I was a baby. That’s about it. She’s nuts and that’s it. I can’t change her so I see a therapist about it. I only see my mother once a week. I would never live with her or she live with me. Hang in there everyone.
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Many children, wanted or not, spend their lives trying to get the love they never had from their mothers. It has to to with their mothers not being able to love. A broken love, often pretending to love. It could have happened to our own mothers when they were children, hence, the cycle. Yet, it is a type of love, looks and feels like using others to get one's own needs met.

We deal with it. We can do it. Our love covers a multitude of sins.
And through therapy, we can learn to leave if we need to protect ourselves.
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It's not that the pregnancy was planned or not Two of mine were planned, two not. My kids don't have a clue whether they were planned or not. I never used it to hurt them. Some mothers, who obviously have mental health issues, use whatever they can to hurt their child(ren). This can be a powerful tool in their box of many.

In none of these cases - shell, cm or I - was dementia the issue. For me I was made aware that I was lacking in many ways, and displeasing to my mother from a very early age. I know I am not a mistake. God does not make mistakes. And I knew it was her problem not mine from an early age. Nonetheless, as I am human, frequent negative feedback took it's toll and I still work on some things. Such is life. None of us is perfect. We all have our challenges.
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