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This next post is something that has been on my mind, since Ferguson. I knew at the time, seeing the increasing violence and anti-police that it will bode badly to these cities. What really got to me - was how a Lot of these Higher Up Position people were so fast to blame the police. And did Nothing to stop or even at least show Disfavor of these anti-police actions/comments. Now, months later, I see in the news the steadily increase of crime/violence. I just feel sooo bad for the police and their family. It's too bad.

If you have kept up with the news, you would have heard how this police was putting gas in his vehicle when he was shot several times from behind. It's so sad because he was going to retire soon. I'm mentioning this because it's leading up to the post below - from FaceBook. I have included the poster's name - because it is her account of what happened.
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Tommi Jones Kelley
Yesterday near Houston, TX, United States •Edited •

Ok, so EARLY this morning I was pumping gas in my patrol car (reason I look like a Hot Mess!)...& add it was pouring rain...

When this teenager I've never met before is standing right behind me & says, "ma'am, do u mind if I stand here behind you while u get ur gas?"

My initial response was "and why?"...

His reply, "to make sure You stay safe!"

Finished pumping my gas & he was still standing there, in the rain

He then just walked off & started to get into the passenger side of a car & I asked the driver if she was his Mom & indeed she was. I told her she has an amazing son & she said he wanted to make sure no one hurt me.

Yes, I'm the one with the gun on my hip while he stood there empty handed, but he for sure had my "6" while my back was turned.

With all the terror going on nationwide, this reassured me there are still some pretty awesome individuals out there!
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A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir ."

The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. "

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don"t be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn"t have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you"re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you"re driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON"T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma"am?"

"Only when he"s been drinking, officer."
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Bookluvr, thanks for the laugh this morning!
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Garden, when I first read this, I wondered if the wife purposely said those things to get him in trouble. On her last comment, I just laughed.
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I'm guessing she did. She has her own way of getting back at hubby for whatever he's done to her!
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An elderly couple are on their way home from their 60th wedding anniversary party at their daughters house. They're driving down a lonely country road, silent, lost in their thoughts. Suddenly the woman slugs her husband in the shoulder. "Oww! Why did you do that," he yelled. She replied, "That's for 60 years of bad sex!" They drove a while longer in silence when suddenly the man slugs his wife in the shoulder. She yelled and asked, "What the hell was that for?" "For knowing the difference" he responded.
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Have you seen Miss Colorado in the Talent Miss America competition? She's a nurse. Instead of singing or dancing, she decided to talk about her job and Joe, a live-in Alzheimer client.

Google: Miss Colorado nurse skips the song and dance, talks about nursing Youtube.
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Book, just saw a blurb on the news. Great! About time these contests become more about who you are instead of what you look like!
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That's what I thought, too. She was brave to go against the grain. And I'm glad that she mentioned it. Kudos to all nurses and caregivers. (Well, I threw in the caregivers...)
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There was one humorous story that I was tempted to post here. But, my spiritual conscience reminded me that it was inappropriate for me to do so. I even tried to find a way to alter it so that it's a 'cleaner' version. But, I decided it's best to let it go.
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I just got off FB. Someone shared a YouTube video that I found funny and some not so funny. While watching this video, I realize how dangerous going to Kmart can be. Imagine those rows of shelves tipping over - like dominoes. Scary...

If you google: When You're having just the worst day at work.
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I don't know cars but this sign makes it seem that some cars may not have the oomph power:

Speed limit sign: SPEED LIMIT ...85
Right below it, they posted another road sign: Chevys.. Just do the Best you Can
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Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don't try to convince me that
There's something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don't last.
And it's not true that
It's all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be obtained
Only if one's surroundings are good
It's not true that good exists
I'm sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It's all beyond my control
And you'll never in a million years hear me say that
Today was a good day

Now Read From Bottom To Top
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Halloween Group Therapy:
Vampire says, "My love life bites!"
Ghost says, "I'm not the man I used to be!"
Carved Pumpkin, "I feel hollow inside!"
Witch, "I curse everything!"
Zombie, "I haven't felt alive in years!"
Head inside a large jar, "I just feel disconnected!"
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One of Minion's many sayings:Surround yourself with people who make you laugh until your abs hurt. That way you never actually have to work out.
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An elderly Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie....
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Good one!

What do hemorroids and corvettes have in common?

Sooner or later every a**hole gets one.
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What does a hillbilly divorce and a tornado have in common?

In either case somebody's gonna lose a mobile home......


When George W Bush was President some of his aids were discussing what to get him for Christmas. One suggest a nice book. Another replied, Nah, he's already got one of those........True Story
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A coloring book no doubt.
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Nah....I doubt he would be able to stay in the lines.

Saw a couple great bumper stickers during the W years:

There's a village in Texas thats lost its idiot. And....

Never thought I'd miss Nixon
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Just think if Trump won. You'd have a whole bunch of new punchlines.
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And, if trump won, all the blonde ladies in the country could copy his style of bangs because it sure doesn't look good on him.
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I was in a nail salon awhile back and a posted sign read "unintended children not allowed."
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When I first found this site, I read this post from giles. It opened my eyes on how sneaky the person receiving caregiving can be. So I copied and pasted it in my file....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So I'm literally and physically falling apart here, guys. Grandma rolled out of bed last Sunday and I had to get her up off the floor. I have compressed discs in my lower back and get pinched nerves that drop me to the ground.

So then Tuesday evening, she's backing up to the pot with her walker, trips on the wheel and falls backward onto the seat. She she a huge bruise and brushburn on her side. I think she must have brushed the toiletpaper holder on the way back. Had e-rays done yesterday and still waiting for results.

Wednesday she rolled out of bed again. Had to get her up off the floor again....with pinched nerves in my back.

Thursday she decided that she can't even sit up in bed, let alone get out of bed to use the potty. She wants me to lift her out of bed. I tried to call her bluff and get her to sit up so that I can help her from there. No go. So after sucking it up and lifting her out of bed all day Thursday and Thurday night....I can't do it anymore.

During the 4am episode this morning, I told her that this would only be temporary. I'll call the doc first thing this morning and have him sign papers for her to go to our local rehad for a week or two til her rib heals and when she is able to get in/out of bed herself and my back is healed, we'll bring her back home. I finally got to crawl back in bed at 4:45 to get some sleep.

I woke up mid morning to find that gma not only got out of bed by herself but also got dressed....in the pants that she always complains are the hardest ones to put on. She wheeled herself out to the dining room table and was waiting for her breakfast. I had to do a double take. So over breakfast I brought up the fact that her recovery over the last few hours is amazing. Almost an Easter miracle. She tells me, "It's no miracle. I was just messin' with ya but you're not sending me to any rehab joint. No, no. I don't think so!"

@#$$@#@$#@$###$@$@#$#$@! The moral of this story is....be VERY careful when you pray for patience!"
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I chuckled over this one. As I was typing it, I kept giggling.

~~~~~~~~~~
From I'm Not Right in the Head:
I want a closed-casket funeral. However, towards the end of the service, please have the organist play "Pop Goes the Weasel" over and over, until everyone in attendance is staring at my coffin with mute, horrified anticipation.
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A very cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away. She complained & criticized everything & everyone throughout the process.

When she appeared before the judge, he asked her what she had stolen from the store.

The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches."

The judge then asked why she had done it.

She replied, "I was hungry & forgot to bring any cash to the store."

The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.

She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?"

The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail - one day for each peach." As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's longsuffering husband raised his hand slowly & asked if he might speak.

The judge asked, "Yes, sir, what do you have to add?"

The husband said meekly, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas."
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When Grandma Goes to Court....

Lawyers should never ask a Texas Grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her & asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why yes, I do know you since you were a little boy, & frankly you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife & you manipulate people & talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot, when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room & asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted & he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with 3 different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney nealy died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice said: "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair"
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The following is an ethics quiz:

A sweet little old lady walks into her lawyers office to settle the accounts of her deceased husband. At the conclusion of the short meeting she asks about the fee. The kind young attorney explains is was all very simple and one hundred dollars would be fine.

She reaches in her purse and gives the lawyer a crisp $100 bill. He helps her on with her coat and she departs.

It's then that he realizes that there are 2 $100 bills stuck together.

QUESTION

What is the ethical problem?

ANSWER

Whether or not to tell his partner.....
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What Does Your Life Path Number Reveal About You?

DOB: July 18, 1991
7 + 18 + 1991 = 2016
2 + 0 + 1 + 6 (add each digit of 2016) = 9
Your life path number is = # 9

#1 = THE PURPOSEFUL (new inventions, new ways of doing things & ideas. Like doing things their way & trouble tolerating other people's lifestyles/decisions. (Example: Tom Hanks, Hulk Hogan, Wyona Judd)

#2 = THE HELPER ("empath", often put other's needs first above their own, care deeply, can't stand isolation, tight-knit friends. Warm up to those who really understands them. (eg: Bill Clinton, Madonna, Mozart, Whoopi)

# 3 = THE SPIRITUAL (Life of the Party. love spotlight, are charming, talk more than listen, insensitive at times. Big heart but frequently misunderstood.) (eg: Melanie Griffin, Jodi Foster)

# 4 = THE BALANCED (Stick to Routines. Rarely step out of their comfort zone or adopt new principles of living. Conservative values, hard work, enjoy nature, avoid modern entertainment. Sometimes stubborn and closed off to new ideas. (eg: Oprah, Neil Diamond, Arnold Schwarzenegger)

# 5 = THE FIGHTER (Don't like anyone telling them what to do. Fierce independence. Drawn to arts as a creative outlet. May have been 'problem child' due to opposition from authority/rules.

# 6 = THE OPTIMIST (Romantic, with heads in the clouds, dreaming of a perfect world, offer positive contributions. Close to family, loyal friend/partner. (eg: Albert Einstein, Christopher Columbus, Meryl Streep)

# 7 =The REALIST (Natural born intellectual, highly analytical & logical. Make decisions based on thoughts, not emotions. Love doing research, learning new topics. Seem cold/unfeeling to others - don't wear their emotions publicly (eg: Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson)

# 8 = THE LEADER (Type A people. Accomplish more, go one step further,great ambition and willpower, don't leave a job unfinished. Like to tackle big challenges, solve problems. Leadership role. (eg: Streisand, Picasso & Aretha Franklin)

# 9 = THE ENTERTAINER (Very gregarious & sociable, love to make people laugh and show them a good time. Make friends easily, irresistible charm. Do well as a comedian, similar performer as they enjoy entertaining others. (eg: Jimmy Carter, Elvis, Harrison Ford.

######################################################

Okay, I tried this. My number is a 9. 9??? Of all the above number, I would have thought I would be a 7. Fave sis is a 7 - which does ring true for her. Baby bro is a 6...
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What if the number when you add all of the birthday digits is a double digir number? For example, 25? Do you then add 2 and 5? If so, I am a seven. Right where I would think.
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