My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Veronica91, regarding my Dad and mulch.... it's been a rough year with Dad constantly asking my S/O and me to drive him to Home Depot for mulch. We can't do it any more, that ship has sailed, never to return.

By not helping Dad with all these heavy chores we are trying to get him to realize that maybe it is time for he and Mom to move to a retirement community, there is one in their area that is like living at a 5-star resort. Dad liked the brochure and said "it would be a nice place in a couple of years".... couple of years????.... HELLO, you are 92 and 96.

Therefore, if my Dad wants mulch, he will have to do the calling and PAY for the delivery charge. I am not going to spoil him, otherwise he might take advantage.

oh my, we're just terrible, awful people, aren't we? LOL We have to laugh about these things, though...or we'd cry. You have to laugh at it sometimes to relieve the stress. I'm so, so, SO thankful for this site, where we can come to chat, rant and rave, scream and cry, and commiserate with others going through the same thing we are - because no one else truly understands. Not even our own families.

Thank you for being there for me - each and every one of you!

My mother is very "old school" about her hair. Will only have it washed and set once a week at salon. Doesn't matter how sweaty she gets I better not let her hair get wet when she gets a shower.I have always thought this was so nasty but she has always been this way. Even when younger and she worked out in the yard would bath but not the hair,phew! Hopefully I will get lucky and she will never make a mess bad enough for a hose but I am already thinking how long a hose would I need to get it to reach to the bathroom?LOL

Does letting them walk right into the sprinklers after telling them 15 times to please not go over there or you'll get wet, count?

I'm watching her purposely drop cheerios on the floor for the dog....

OMG...on top of that, the dog just decided to have some nasty gas....and to release it in my general direction. My eyes are watering.......

Yup, daughter52 - TODAY. I couldn't pry Mom out of the house this morning to go to breakfast with the family, which also meant she wasn't going to shower. I look forward to our Sunday breakfasts, because it's the only day I can guarantee she will shower, because she knows we're going out. Today she dug her heels in and refused both going out and showering. Will try again later, but for now, I have all the doors and windows open and scented candles on the candle warmers - not that the odor doesn't still reach around smack me in the face from time to time when she moves just right or the air current brings the odor back in front of me. Ick.

Ok...I'm gonna say this out loud and after having said it I will feel better. Does anyone ever feel like they want to just squirt their parent with a hose sometimes? I know it's bad, I won't really ever do it, but I think it sometimes. Whew!

After catching up on all the "whines", especially the DIAL UP and poo poo's mine doesn't seem so bad. hehe... dial up? Really? I didn't realize that even existed anymore?

So.... just realized mom has been using the big dog food bag as the garbage disposal. When scooping dog food out ... up came parts of every meal she had yesterday. Makes me wonder if she's found another sneaky way to FEED MY DOGS!! Seriously...

Don't feel bad sylvera, thankfully my mother loves my husband's cooking. I messed up jello to give you an idea about my cooking skills.

This morning I made my Ninny some oatmeal. It's not the kind she is used to having (larger flakes) and it got a little soggy because she spent so long in the bathroom after getting up (this was the second batch I made, too; I had to give my husband the first because she spent 45+ minutes in the washroom). I served it to her and she stared blankly at it.

"What's this?"
"It's oatmeal - your favourite!"
A skeptical look. "Really?"
I bite down my frustration and give her a big smile. "Yeah!"
She shakes her head in disbelief and pokes at it with her spoon. In the flattest, most unimpressed tone: "Oh. Okay."
She ate the whole bowl without complaint, so I guess it couldn't have been that bad. Ouch, though.

That's what makes it so funny/sad,my husband isn't the one I take care of its my mother. When he takes out his hearing aid and eyeglasses off for the night he is deaf and blind, and because of the dog food we feed the feces actually don't have a smell at first, he has sleep apnea and wears a mask and a lot of the time his nose is stopped up.Also we have 8 dogs in the house,2 of which are my mothers, we buy a lot of doggy pee pads which they do use,now if I can just get my husband to quit using them LOL!

freqflyer. Could you just place dad's order by phone and have home depot deliver it, alternately go to the store and ask them to deliver?

Tex I had to go and check your profile to see who you were caring for and it is not your husband. Didn't he smell what he had trodden in and clean it up? Mine would have immediately woken me up and told me it needed cleaning up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woke up to see my bathroom covered in feces as my husband during the night when going to the bathroom stepped on the doggy pad we keep in the bathroom for the dogs as night, and tracked it all over the bathroom floor--what an epic mess,also mother now wants a bath and had to show me her swollen left hand that she puts her brace on to tight at night, and also had to show me this dime size bruise she had and where did it come from etc, she is on baby aspirin,what a start to the morning.Just not ready to hear her whining for the day.

Police! Oy, that would have probably been a last straw with me. You are one tough daughter. If people knew the half of what we go through...

Veronica91, you're right my Dad is very fugal, but there is stuff he needs to buy for the house as he still is able to fix things.... otherwise, I would be driving to Home Depot, buying 20 bags of mulch, and I would be unloading it from my vehicle... I can't do it anymore at my age. If Dad could order on-line, the store would deliver it. Plus I wouldn't need to spend 2 hours in Home Depot and all Dad buys is one light bulb and a tube of Epoxy :0

Oh, I agree with you about the medical profession and prescription medicine. I found out the hard way that I cannot tolerate medicine made by certain manufacturers because I am hypersensitive to the *fillers* they use in the making of the pill to make it large enough to handle or *fillers* they use to bind the ingredients together. It's all trial and error whenever I am prescribed new medicine. I just found out last year that my Mom has the same problem. Turns out there was one manufacturer we both could use without any problem :)

Dad called the cops on me last night & said I didn't let him eat or use the bathroom. I bought him food the night before. The sink in the bathroom gets clogged after he uses it then, the tub. I spend all day unclogging both & get nothing else done! I told him to get a plumber or no one will be able to use the drains in the bathroom. Ugh! He said, "I'll just brush my teeth in the kitchen & take a bath in a bucket". I told him, "No. You cannot do that". So, he told the cops I wouldn't let him use the bathroom "in his own house". I'm finished complaining. Thanks for listening. blou

My whine concerns the medical profession that I frequently complain about. One sees so many specialists and no one is looking at the big picture. How do all these different treatments and drugs interact with each other. The PCP either does not know or does not bother or simply does not have the time to look at the wholw plan. the end result is "do it yourself medicine" which is sure to piss someone off

Freqflyer, leave dad alone and be thankful he isn't wasting his money buying stuff on line that he does not need. At 92 he probably grew up frugal and life time habits are hard to break.

Dial up!! I still have nightmares of that terrible sound!

My whine for the day.... wish my Dad [who is 92 and use to write computer code] would get high speed internet.... all he does is complain about how slow his internet is, that it will shut down before whatever he needs is downloaded... it timed out.... plus it is almost impossible for him to shop on-line because he is STILL ON DIAL-UP !!!!!

Dial-up is ok if you live in a small populated area, but we live in huge metro area. I told him when he is using dial-up in our area, it's like he is peddling a tricycle trying to merge on the super information highway where everyone else is going 200 miles per hour.

Dad doesn't want to spend the money.... [sigh].... I know some will say for me to pay for his internet but I won't because he's worth 10x more than my net worth and can easily afford it.

It would make his life so much better.... he can order whatever he wants from Home Depot and have it delivered to his home.... same with any store.... here one can even order groceries and have it delivered. Oh how that would simplify my life :)

Thanks assandache - I know my daughter won't back me up. Long story, but I know it's a fact. She'll side with him and commiserate with him over it, and then call me and act like she's on my side. The kids have done this for years - they play the ends against the middle, picking the side that puts them in the best light at that moment, and then switching to the other side to appear to be on *that* person's side. It shouldn't be about "sides" at all, but that's how they've always been. I've never figured it out.

Applying the Three C's and trying to blow it off.

Susan I would have said to daughter "well if he does call you back me up! Remind him he should be supporting his child"..time to grow up..

I'm sorry your having a hard time with your kids.. You're probably right that it's time for a little distance.. They'll call eventually they always do! LOL

Had to postpone yesterday's whine moment until today so I could get past the hurt feelings before I posted. Older son called yesterday, and we had a pleasant conversation, until I brought up the fact that I was still buying diapers for his son, and that he hasn't bought anything for him - at all. He has money to maintain a car, pay rent, etc - and is now considering starting a business with his friend that he just met (I see trouble coming there) - but can't buy even a small toy or small pack of diapers for his son. The state is coming after him for child support within the next month, and when that happens, I'll stop buying the diapers. (And no, I don't see this as "enabling" my son, I am buying diapers for my grandson, who should not have to suffer because his father can't get his sh*t together. Son no longer receives any help at all from me, because he's lied to me too many times to get my help.) He hasn't paid child support at all, other than the 2 times I *made* him give the baby's mother money, and was standing there to make sure he did. So for the whole first year of the baby's life, he's paid a grand total of about $250. He's never bought diapers, clothing or anything else for him.

Anyhooo...my whine: Daughter called to talk to me and I was telling her about conversation with older son, and she made an offhand remark, "Oh, I guess I'll expect a call from him to rant about you, then." - then she proceeded to tell me that any time I get on him about something, he calls her to vent about it. Nice. Thanks for making me feel like absolute crap. Think my phone calls will be few and far between for a while - I think some distance is definitely needed, at least for my own peace of mind. Definitely needing the 3 C's today.

JeanetteB...I feel ya. One of the many things mom does is put food from her plate all over the house for my already overweight cat. I tell her that I have food and water in my room for the cat and she gets fed a little twice a day. Doesn't listen. Will we laugh later about it? Maybe..

DO NOT FEED MY DOGS!!!

That covers my whine..... hate that shit.

I decided this should come under my "whine moment". Just as a footnote, I did make my list of things to be grateful for during my meditation this morning. Anyways...here's the story:
I UNDERSTAND that she is bored sometimes (which she swore to me yesterday she doesn't get bored). BUT....Heare I come home from the grocery store and notice she hasn't eaten her lunch yet (it's in the fridge). She's eating crackers and asking me where her peanuts are (She goes through peanuts like toilet paper). I tell her to eat her lunch first. Then I proceed to set up the house for the afternoon's heat (90's today) by turning on fans, drawing shades, etc. and go in my room to relax for a bit. Since I was up late and rose early I am feeling kinda sleepy. So in this brief quiet moment, I lay down on my bed with my fan on. I have my book on my lap thinking I'll read a bit but I drift off instead. I wake an hour later (I never take long naps) and I hear the house noise is quiet so I figure she must have gone in her room to nap. I pick up my book, there are bird noises outside--house feels peaceful. I start to read and I hear her come out of her room. Mind you, her bedroom door is adjacent to mine, and I hear her go to back door (which is also near my room ) and do "something", mumble some negative thought out loud---as she does often---and walk back to the other room. Disruptive as it was, I breathe, ignore and go back to my book.
Now I may be imagining things but I SWEAR--she starts this grunting sound as she passes my door. I don't hear her do it when she gets in her room though. I roll my eyes and, again, go back to my book. A moment later, she comes back out of her bedroom door and out loud comes this huge 'moan/groan/sigh' --just like her mother used to do. This, of course, is her bored, hate life moan. Then the grunting (all by my door). I try to go back to my reading but she has ruined the peaceful moment.
Even......EVEN if I were to go out there and be available to talk it would be the same old conversations that I have come to know .....i.e. "Who was your father or who was I married to? What did your father die of? I sure wish I knew about golf when I was young. Do you have any interest in playing golf "....and the like. It's the same stuff over and over and over and over again. Makes it hard to converse. Even if I bring up and interesting subject she will always respond with, The weather sure is lovely---you couldn't ask for better weather".
Such is a typical day.

Hope your night went well and you can have a little wine along with your wine tonight

Well, no wine to soothe my whines tonight...just realized how much work I have left ahead of me for my clients tonight. So it's iced coffee all the way tonight! Wine makes me sleepy, which would be fine any other night - just not tonight!

Amen sister, Amen. I'm 3 for 3 today.