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I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.

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((((Hothouse)))) I think you are doing the right thing by moving your dad. Alternately the facility could move that nasty man to a single room where he can't upset people as much.
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Hothouseflower, I agree with others.
That must of been so upset to deal with! 💕💕
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Thanks to all who responded. Tomorrow I will begin the process to have his room changed.
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Hothouseflower

If this roommate doesn't have dementia, why is he sharing a room with your father who does? The NH should not have put them together and it's good that you're having your father moved to a different room as he should be.

Good for you giving it back to that guy. Even when they have dementia, there's nothing wrong with letting someone know you will not tolerate nasty, abusive behavior. The nurse doesn't have to take it either and should not. If this guy is that bad, he needs to be in a different kind of facility where his behavior can be dealt with.
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I agree with cwillie , I moved my Dad about 2 weeks before he died because of new room mate playing TV all night long .
Dad was happy to be moved to a quieter room with a very nice considerate room mate who realized Dad was dying .
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Hothouse - It sounds like he doesn't get around on his own so changing rooms wouldn't mean he'd get confused and can't find his way there, I think that one room is pretty much like any other and living with a nasty SOB can't be very nice, I'd make the move.
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Need to put what happened to me today somewhere. So here it is. Went to the NH to visit my dad. I like to sit in the sitting room with him so I can give him something to eat and play some music for him. This morning he was in the dining room in his wheel chair without his feet plates. No way I could wheel him out with his feet dragging.

I continue by saying that my father's roommate is a nasty nasty SOB and he does not have dementia, so no free pass. You should hear how he speaks to the nurses. He is a miserable human being. I hunted down the nurse and finally found her taking care of my father's SOB roommate.

I had no expectation that the nurse had to drop everything to take care of my father but I told her while she was in there that the plates needed to go back on which she said she would do when she was done. But the roommate seemed to think I wanted her to leave and started yelling at me. I all said that this needed to be addressed.

Anyway just before I left I went into my father's room to check how his room was. And of course roommate started to rip me a new one. And instead of keeping quiet and just leaving I started yelling right back. Pretty much told him who the f he thought he was talking to anyone this way. Called him a nasty miserable human being and just yelled right back.

It was bad. The head nursing came running in and had to break it up. I told her told her what she already knows but could not agree with, that the guy is a mean sadistic nasty piece of work. I have managed to keep on his good side for almost a year but today I lost it with him. No one, but no one, gets to talk to me this way.

I went back to the sitting room and the nurse stopped in to talk to me and I told her I am considering moving my father to another room. She said that was my right to do and the only thing she could do was make sure the what happened with the feet plates does not happen again. It's true, this never would have happened if they were on the chair. But as I said to her, if it wasn't this situation it would be something else. But I don't know if moving him is a good thing. He's been in that room for 2.5 years.
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Valentine, you sound like you are at the end of your rope. Anything we can do to help you? We are here to listen. If you are not POA you do not have to keep this up.
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I'm tired too. I'm tired of dealing with a sister who can go off at the drop of a hat but I have no choice bc we have to be at least civil to take care of our mom. I'm tired of having no choice. I'm tired of all of it. I just want to run away. I feel like it will never end.
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I have a cousin that has always struggled to keep weight on, my DH is going the same way too from 55. People dismiss their issues all the time so they get so little support :( No-one needs judgemental comments from the Food Police or Body Shape Police.

I went & bought one of those tins of fibre/fibre drinks. 2 x day. I'm telling myself it will improve my gut/brain chemicals, therefore reduce tempation to binge drinks/snacks on weekends. In reality.. ? The effects are not too bad 😂🍊💩🍊💩
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Daisy: I'm with you regarding weight.
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Golden, yeah it's not healthy for a lot of people to be outside. Stupid climate change. 😡

I gained my 5 lbs back, I lost and been walking again. 😊 I know it doesn't make me very popular 😔 having the opposite issue of weight.
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Well done, burnt! That takes a lot of work.

way - it's harder as you get older. unless you run marathons, The guideline is 80% of weight loss is diet and 20% exercise. But both exercise and diet are important especially in keeping the weight off.

Here to Daisy. I was looking forward to sitting out on the balcony, but not today! I am so glad we are out of the forested area - don't have tp ve concerned about being burnt down.
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Smoky here in NYS today, my eyes are burning. It's coming from Canadas wild fires.
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Thanks Burnt,
So hard to get rid of this 10-15 lbs of menopause weight that creeped .
I was always thin before with no efforts .
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@Way

Good for you losing weight and getting healthy. Beatty is right about FIBRE (or fiber as us Americans say). I lost a ton of weight over a year and a half and it was walking, taking my dietary fiber drink every day, cutting out sugar, and using a natural sweetener made from monkfruit. For some reason the monkfruit sweetener in my tea really curbed my appetite. I think therapy helped too.

@Beatty

Looking at trees can only be good for you and anyone else. At some point during the day, I find time to take my shoes off and let my bare feet be on some grass for a while.
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Beatty, been meaning to say thank you for your comment on the my husband's health. 💗💗

I've really been slacking on my physical routine, the last few months. Tried to keep up a little and just walk around the block when I could, mental get in the mood, and when it wasn't raining. Played boccie last night, and played for 2 people, played my spot and we traded playing for my husband, he played a little which was awesome. So I can barely move this morning. To keep him his spirits up I sit around with him a lot.

We both have gotten a bit of bug phobia. When you think this thing the size of dot did this to a bull of a 6"5 man, it's nuts.

Way, walking is so good for you and everyone, even if you eat more , it's ok it all evens out in the end .

I've noticed, moms not wanting to get outta the house as much, I told her I was free Friday and we could go out to any of are usually places, and she just kinda shrugged. So maybe we will just go for a ride, but this is definitely a turn . I'm not concerned, she is getting close to 90 this is what happens, and I have had enough worries, I'm not adding to them.
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Way, I'll join you. I need to shed also. I heard on the radio today FIBRE is the new protein. Apparently fibre tells the brain to reduce the hormones that make us feel hungry.

But exercise has so many benefits. It makes me look at trees instead of ruminate about rubbish.
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Have gotten back to 5 a week walks ( weather permitting ) . The goal is to lose 10 pounds. But now I get hungry 🙄🙄
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I'm happy with our 10C (50F) weather going up to 17C (64F), Nice and fresh. But winds are coming this afternoon and they're not nice. I don't mind wearing a sweater or a jacket. if it gets chilly. I found a rayon maxi dress at walmart. That fabric is so comfortable and good in the warm weather. Yesterday I wore a long sleeved blouse as a shacket on top of it.

The magpies are nesting and screeching to warn Rocky off the balcony.

Someone mentioned forest fires. We are not in a forested area any more, thank goodness. Grass fires do burn west of us but not near here so far. I did see fires have started in other areas. 🙁😦 Rain would be great!!!
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I've been whining about the weather too, it was so cold this afternoon I was shivering in my jacket and I even needed a sweater in the house (yeah yeah, I know it was colder in the winter but my body has already lost it's cold tolerance) - enough already.
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Daisy, we are getting a storm, yippee! We could use some rain but dang, all the wind is terrible, drying plants out and blowing who knows what, from who knows where into the valley. We are enjoying the under 100° weather though!

I hope you get some nice weather soon.
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I know I am a whiner about the weather, it's either too cold, too hot, to rain, but ghee whiz I just turn my heat on. It's , 65 in the house and 58 outside and bad winds. This deserves a good whine!!!
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The day started off ok actually I got a little organizing done then I cracked my side mirror backing out of my garage and cried.... 😜Ugh.
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Isthisrealllyreal and Golden, yeah I get that they are pretty much everywhere, but I live in quite the hotspot for them. I've talked to people that went outside in the spring and found 5 ticks on there clothing after 15 minutes outside.

I went on reddit, r/upstate to warn people, it's become quite the issue, around here. My sons fiancee mom, has Lyme for the 3rd time in, Im not sure how many years.
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Daisy I used to be concerned about ticks in the north. We do have them and here too but it's not a big problem. I don't think R has ever been bitten and he works outside all the time. You are wise to be concerned as they carry some nasty diseases.

Never been to Arizona but I would like to see the Grand Canyon!
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Daisy, I don't know if any place doesn't have ticks. We use a monthly treatment on our dogs and I have never had any problems but, I know we have them. Creepy bugs that carry weird diseases everywhere!

You will love the west. Each state has its own beauty.

Arizona is a beautiful state with every landscape imaginable. The grand canyon is awe inspiring, however, it is high in elevation and is cold in the winter, often getting snow on the rim. (If you have a handicap parking tag, you can drive the rim instead of taking the trolley or walking.)

If you guys decide to head west, I really recommend getting an America The Beautiful pass and doing a road trip to see all of the National Parks. Incredible beauty and amazing historical ruins all for an 80.00 lifetime pass for seniors.

There is an app that my cousin introduced me to called roadside America, and it has all the fun and unique items to see in each community.

Anywho, so happy that you and your husband are doing well. I can only imagine how relieved you feel after such a scare.
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Isthisrealllyreal, I've never been west , that is on our bucket list, but in the cooler months.

Honestly, right now if hubby said let's move anyplace where there is little to no ticks, and I would start packing asap.
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Golden, I have been skiing in -13° and it didn't feel cold, until it got dark. Crazy what humidity will do.

You probably know this but, if you get overly warm, putting damp rags or ice cubes on the inside of your wrist will help bring your body temperature down.

Yep, we love our good weather months. It is awesome.
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I am sure it is very much what you are used to. Dry heat is definitely better than humid heat. Same with cold - dry cold is better.

Daisy The temps can go up and down. We get few days as high as 88 which it was today. 95 and humid -yikes!!!

ITRR 7-9 months good weather must be awesome and a swimming pool too. Here it is more like 5 months good weather.

Starting to cool off here now and windy so I have opened the patio doors and bedroom window and have some air coming in..Wasn't too bad at all. It never got about 78 inside.
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