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Mom passed away this Monday evening. It was peaceful and I was with her. She had been eating very little ( a few bites of food, or some soup, then I'm full) in the past couple of months, but still her usual level of cognition and up and about in her wheelchair. My kids were going to be at their inlaws for Christmas this year, so we all got together the Sunday before to have a meal and exchange gifts. My sister and family, my 2 adult kids and their families. I brought mom from her MC facility and she enjoyed it, especially the great grand baby hugs. We took lots of pictures.


Then the next day on Monday, she decided that she just wanted to sleep, they couldn't get her out of bed; I thought she probably was just tired out from the long day before, but it continued on Tues, just able to get her a few bites of pudding with her meds, and a little water. Then Wed, back to normal,, sitting up,ate, having a nice visit with her cousin. So, I thought ok, just needed some downtime.
Then Christmas eve, it all changed. Back to bed, not eating, sleeping, not able to rouse at all, would mumble and shift in bed, hold your hand but not open eyes. Hospice doctor decided to hold meds, since she had lost weight, maybe that was making her too drowsy, that they might be building up in system and need adjusting. But it just didn't do anything.
So I had to make a call whether to accept this was the end, that maybe she had had a brain event, did I want to take her off hospice and hospitalization for feeding and hydration etc. Based on her weight loss from before and her changes in cognition in the last few months ( more trouble with words, difficulty eating) I said no.
But it was difficult. They kept saying she was a strong lady, because it's probably only a " couple of days" was 10. They had oxygen on hand for comfort, if she needed, but the morning she died her oxygen sat was 91. She just slept, and held our hands, until the last day. They administerd a low dose of morphine only a couple of times over those days when they bathed and changed her as she exhibited some distress then. And again once on the last day as her breathing was more rapid.
I'm going to miss her, but there is relief in there too, because these last few years was not how she wanted her life to go and was hard. But she lived independently until age 89, and was loved and respected by many,

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Gracie, I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like your mother was able to have a final time with family over Christmas at least. A small blessing but a blessing nonetheless.

Take care of yourself during the grieving process. Hugs!
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Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for your loss, but glad that your mother passed peacefully.
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Death is harder for those left behind. May you find the strength and comfort in your memories.
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So sorry for your loss. May the wonderful memories you've shared help ease the pain.
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My prayers are with you both.
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Condolences on your loss. May she rest peacefully. You did an amazing job helping with her transition!
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I'm so sorry, Grace.
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Gracie, I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. Remember that you provided excellent care for her, and I’m sure she knew your love. I wish you the comfort of happy memories and peace in the days ahead
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I'm glad she had the Christmas celebration before you passed, and glad it was peaceful. Condolences to you and family.
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((((((((hugs)))))) So sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences. Your mum is at peace now. Take care of you.
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You are correct when you say that along with the grief there is also relief that your loved one no longer has to suffer or live a life they never would have chosen for themselves.
And that sometimes can be a hard combination for us left behind to deal with. But you did a great job looking after your mom, and in that you should find great peace.
I pray that you will feel God's love, peace and comfort in the days, weeks and months ahead.
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My condolences for your loss. I understand the relief as well.
I'm both fearing and looking forward to when my Mom says goodbye.
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So grateful that you were willing to share your experience in detail. I'm sorry for her loss but happy for your relief. May you receive peace in your heart and much comfort from loving memories of your lives together.
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So sorry for your loss, Gracie. Would that all would be so lucky as your Mom to have hospice care and to have a loving family and hand to hold. May you celebrate her life for your life long, and if you are like me, she will not be gone from you.
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I am sorry for your loss.

May The Lord give you grieving mercies and comfort during this new season in life.

It sounds like your mom was very blessed with a peaceful passing.
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I know from experience that no matter how prepared we think we are there is still shock and grief, I'm sorry for your loss.
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