I am grateful to the pandemic because (tongue in cheek)

anniefey, I love your post so much that I'm going to post it again!

"Maybe the 'gift' of the virus can be acknowledgement of an awakening and give you the opportunity to create new behaviors around the stress of the holidays in the future. I think one of the greatest sadnesses in human behavior is when others guilt you into doing what you know is not in your best interest. You are not responsible for the happiness of others. Look at the underlying reasons why you felt such great relief in not participating this year, and why. Learn to say no in a kind and firm way. This has been a huge teaching moment if you can see it. Life didn’t come to a screeching halt when the usual family gatherings didn’t happen."

I know so many people who get so caught up in holidays. They complain, but still continue to do every. little. thing. that their families expect. I refused to go along with that years ago (we do not travel to NYS to visit in-laws for holidays). Our holidays are already streamlined and simple.

I am a homebody, too, and am glad I didn't have to do lots of things since March (including going to two weddings in NYS).

For me the "gift of the virus" is in delivery services I would otherwise think are expensive and/or extravagant. My attempts to be the best daughter and caregive and all those day to day responsibilities that keep things going but that are taken for granted by 103 year old males who always had those things taken care of by the females in the family wound up catching up with me...and the end of Sept I was rushed to the hospital and had surgery for a dissected aorta (often fatal and what took the lives of Alan Thicke and John Ritter may they rest in peace.) So I am grateful to be back home with my pup, for the good people I didn't realize would really be there for me (like some neighbors) and others....let's just say they were not the ones on my in case of emergency list. And it made me realize the importance of updating my POA for health care stuff which I have never really done. BUt the grocery and restaurant delivery services have been a godsend because my stamina is still reestablishing itself and I cannot stand in the kitchen long cooking. My appetite isn't what it was and so if I get a craving, I can usually get something delivered if need be.

I am grateful for the pandemic because it is giving me a break from my toxic sisters. I am working on healthy boundaries and this is giving me a rest from my family and experience with living in peace. When the pandemic is over I will be better able to maintain boundaries even though they won't like it, because I will have the memory of living in peace and knowing that it is possible.

As the oldest child, I was raised to be the responsible rescuer for the rest of my family. Now I physically can't get involved and I'm learning to let go of the need to rescue. It's still ingrained in my self-identity but I can see it now and can fight it.