What is the funniest thing your aging parent has said to you lately?

My husband has dementia with lots of hallucinations and delusions. Sometimes I shouldn't laugh but just have to, like the time we were on the deck and he insisted there were black bear cubs up his pants legs. I offered to take him over to the stairs and shoo them out. He scowled at me and said (honest!), "Now what would the neighbors think of THAT?" Also had DEAD bears under his chair footrest yesterday, so I "picked them up" by the "scruff of the neck" and toted them out. When I came back, he looked at me quite seriously and said, "Very clever! Two handsful of nothing!" Guess I didn't really find them. Then a couple days ago he suddenly walked into the kitchen as I was preparing dinner and declared, "Aren't you getting the process going?!" When I asked what process (silly me), he sort of snorted and said, "Why the one about sex and citizenship, of course!" Of course. Sometimes it's a real challenge keeping up with him, but a few laughs can't hurt, even if I have to stifle them.

My Dad told someone that my brother (age60) is a navy seal.

When my mother-in-law was first admitted to the nursing home for rehab because of a broken hip, she was really confused since she didn't remember even breaking her hip in the first place. When I came to see her the next day, she told me that the woman visiting her wasn't leaving. She said the lady was really nice and all, but she thought it was time for this nice lady to go home, and she didn't know how to tell her. She was talking about her roommate! :)

We had a class for my husband and I on a Saturday morning at our church on how to be a good small group leader. We had to bring mom. First the lady who runs that ministry got up and talked a good while, then our preacher. Then the lady got up again and mom said "Not again, can't we go home?" in a rather loud voice as she is hard of hearing. We just sat there as the leader adjourned the meeting. Then we all busted up laughing.

My mother just passed away a few months ago, but I still remember this one. We live in Florida where every year there are several stories on the news about sink holes. After seeing one news item last year my mother told my father "If you come home from work and descover we had a sink hole form under our house; step down." She had a good sense of humor.

If we don't laugh, we will all go crazy. :-). My Mom is is only 4'6 and she runs the hallways in her jerrychair(it's made of pvc pipe with a seat) She can walk all she wants and then sit when she gets tired. She has also learned how to hit the doors and go out when she feels like it. The doors set off the alarms and everyone starts looking for her and tries to figure out which door it is....:-) She keeps them hopping. She can outrun some of them. For 84 she can really go!! That's my Momma!!

My aunt Ami (95) keeps me in stitches despite being "deeply forgetful." Yesterday, for example, she was mororse and sad all day. I asked her what was wrong. She sighed, "Oh, I'm going down." I said ok, but how about some peaches first? I sliced them into an orange and green bowl, still warm from the sun, no sugar needed, and handed my aunt a blue spoon. She sat up, and dug in. "Sometimes," she said, "when I say I'm going down, it mean I need a peach."

Dad has AD and a whole slew of other things and once when he was in the Hospital. I go to his room to check on him and he whispers loudly to me..

Dad: come over here, I have to tell you something.
Me: what is it Dad?
Dad: They are trying to do things to me.. to experiment on me..they can't be trusted
Me: Who Dad?
Dad: All of them... the doctors and the nurses
Me: Wha?
Dad: They are not who they say they are....they are disguised
Me: Wha? Who are they then?
Dad: Aliens
Me: No way Dad..
Dad: Yes, it's true they are going to take me to their spaceship when you leave the room and experiment on me, I heard them talking...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THEM!
Me: Okay Dad, I will protect you. I won't let them get you.

I took my mother to a family reunion in France. When we arrived she went to bed and didn't get up for three days. I brought her meals, and finally begged her to get up, telling her that she was wasting her time in Paris, She said "But darling, I sleep so well in Paris!".

I want to thank each of you for these laughs. I needed them bad tonight and you have just made my day. Thank you all so much

My Mom, does not have dementia, but has a wonderful sense of humor...we took her to a new Rehab...the first night there she had several visitors. The Admins decided it would be nice to have a 'mini' ice cream party to welcome her.
In came extra chairs , ice cream -flavor of choice - and all her visitors,
Mom called me later and said "We have a lovely ice cream party today."
I said "How nice"
Mom said " I do not know if it was a Welcome Party or a Party for my Wake"
OMGOSH we all laughed...she is very funny and keeps the staff in stitches...

My father-in-law has vascular dementia. He dislikes doctors and medical procedures. The doctor ordered blood tests. When the nurses came to draw blood for the tests, he wouldn't let them near him. Later he told us the vampires keep coming in and trying to suck his blood.

What a novel idea, to keep a record of funny things they say and do. Maybe also the dangerous events. That way when the unconcerned relatives visit (if they ever do) you'd have a record. They could laugh with you about the funny things and be aware thats its not a joke to take care of "our" relative.

Before my dad died he was at home on Hospice. I was staying with him and mom. His sister came to visit and had gotten a new hair style (very long over due) . When she asked my dad how he liked her hair he said " It's nice, I like bushy things " My aunt was there with my cousin and I guess dad was getting tired because he whispered loud to me " tell them they can leave now " .

I just want to thank LindaMS for asking this question and everyone for posting. It is so refreshing to hear the funny stuff for a change. Many of us caregivers are so weighed down with emotional hardships and we rarely get away and this question and thread is such a pleasure for us!
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My mother, Shirley, has a wicked sense of humour which rarely shows itself these days. Sue, her neighbour, comes over every day to help out with meals, etc., and the conversation went as follows:-

Sue...."How are you Shirley?"

Shirley..."I'm a bit worried about finding new lumps on my knees."

Sue..."Oh? What are they?"
[drum roll]

Shirley..."My boobs."
That cracked me up!

My Mom said to me this morning before breakfast Do I have to go to school today? And I just smiled and said yes after breakfast we will go to school. I gave her a bath and about an hour later I asked her if she felt better now that her shower is over and she said to me oh that lady was nice to me. I've learned to enjoy those moments with her because its that moment that counts. Take Care everyone!!

See your funny thing your parent said on Facebook! More to come...

http://www.facebook.com/AgingCare

Thanks LindaMS!!!

I take my mom to the mall for a walk everyday. She always tells me "if you keep doing this you're never going to get rid of me!" My standard reply is "thanks for the warning."

My brother and I were talking about a man all the family knew one day and my Dad all of a sudden pipes in an says yeah, that man is a lesbian.

Well My Father in Law who is in the early stages of dementia was riding with my oldest son, when they passed a strip club and he told my son he eats breakfast their every morning. My son didn't know what to say!

This is about a customer who suffers from early stages of dementia. Thought I'd share it here. I am a hairdresser, I was giving the woman a perm for the first time. She was recommended to me because she had just broken a hip and hadn't had her hair done in a while and I get it...that she repeats etc..
So I was going through the consultation to get an idea of her hair type, perm history etc. I said "your hair is nice and thick but it is very straight", she responded..." the only curl hair I have, is between my legs." It is funny that we all worry about curbing our mouths, at work, not to say anything inappropriate out of respect, but the biggest "gutter mouths" are the elders. I love them, they are for real !!!! I've got to start writing a book.

I took my mom for a Mamagram and she said to the Tech, can you believe these boobs used to be my husbands toys! The Tech and I had a good laugh!

I went to visit my Dad and it was 11:00 am, he wasn't up yet. He had just buzzed the girls to get him up. He asked me,"Were you in here a minute ago?"
I said,"No, I just got here." He said, "I was laying here and heard a voice, it kind of sounded like Mom(my mom not his). She said,"what the He## are you still doing in bed! So I pressed my button for the girls to help me get up." It was pretty funny, I don't know how many times I heard my Mom yell that down the hallway when I was still living at home.

The X-ray tech came into my mom's room to take a chest x-ray. He placed the film behind her back, and placed the machine at the foot of her bed and told her to take a deep breath, she said, "should I smile", we all laughed!

We start out as babies...live our life and go back to being babies before death. The circle of life. I have laughed and cried with mom....She loves to argue..should have been an attorney. She will NOT give up no matter what..always has been that way. But sadly, she was usually 99% of the time, wrong. Still, when she does something like what you just described, I laugh and then she laughs because I'm laughing. It's MUCH better than her arguing all the time!

that she is seriously concerned about my mental health because it is clear that I need help. that she doesn't have dementia or concern of Alzheimer's.. that I am the one with that has Alzheimer's..

My mom won't take meds and is paranoid about any foods that are not microwaeable. She awakened me and told me to go down the hall to the freezer and get everything out of it and put it in the refrigerator in the kitchel. Then she said, I'll do it. I sad 'Mom there is nothing down there except for heavy frozen meats for my brother's dog. Those things are heavy." She said "then you go get it, that's why i woke you up." This was a good day!!! Blessings....

Yesterday my mother asked me how I met my father, and if I'd known him before he married her...

Mom saw one of her NA at hospice and told him, "hey stop scratching." He was scratching his butt.
She told her RN, "you're beautiful." The CNA jokingly asked, "aren't I beautiful too?" Mom told her, "if I said that I would be lying."