we need an ongoing thread to share our failures ond / or accomplishments each day. some of them could be pretty humorous. remember in morgan county indiana we say " it aint braggin if ya done it.
accomplishment -- taking today off and even napping for 3 hrs. long story , about feeling so good i cant be held back , mixed with the nurses voices in my head telling me not to overdo it ..
As soon as I get rid of the tight feeling in my chest I shall dance a little jig. Mother has been rebelling over the use of her walking frame AGAIN. And does this matter? Well, if you picture Tom from Tom & Jerry, drunk as a lord, making his way home and reeling and tottering and bouncing from lamppost to lamppost, that describes my mother's progress across the living room on a good day if she's not using her frame. And she's not even drunk. Her logic is that if she's only moving around ***within*** the room, it doesn't count and she doesn't need her frame. And it makes her feel like a cripple, she says. And I do make a fuss, she says. And her hearing aids are hurting, all of a sudden, so she's taking them out now and it has nothing to do with not wanting to continue the conversation, she says.
And all I said in response to all this was: "Mother. Use your frame."
Can I have my medal for not blowing up and lecturing her for the 6,258th time now, please?
Actually I will settle for a gin and tonic, which I am off to pour. Hope everyone's had a good day.
Success: Overcame my need to be alone on a nice sunny cool day and took Mom to do errands and to the conservation park. She was grateful. But then there was a handsome young man who was enjoying a conversation with me and Mom decided to get attention by butting in and then making fun of me in front of him. Success: not taking it all in and burning with rage: just mildly annoyed. What would you do with this behavior? My mother is normally a nutcase but otherwise healthy. I am thinking: I can't change her. Being defensive or angry just makes her harder to deal with so standing up for myself becomes my own punishment. Adopting an attitude of apathy. Any suggestions? Talking in a nice way doesn't work. I don't know if anything but ignoring her works for me. It's a no win every time. She does this more and more often because she can't hear or respond to people appropriately more and more. She'll be 93 this week.
I think I would just have to terminate the conversation I was enjoying and apologise saying "Mom has dementia we have to move onI am alone" You did well Judda
Juddha, this might help: imagine how that scenario looked to the handsome young man. What do you think he was thinking? Well, quite a variety of things, of course, but one for certain: he would have been impressed that you are big-hearted enough to be kind to your elderly mother even when she doesn't deserve it.
When someone is making fun of us, it's hard to remember that witnesses/observers are most unlikely to agree with that someone. But it's true.
Still bloody annoying to have an enjoyable conversation brought to an abrupt end, of course, but better annoying than hurtful.
And maybe cut back her outing rations, especially when you have something better to do? Not to hurt or punish her, but why make the sacrifice if it isn't really necessary?
It is 8.24 am and not a single 18 wheeler has gone past the house. We moved onto this forgoten dead end road a couple of years ago off a fancy estate but now it has been discovered and a buiding frenzy has erupted. The lots are wooded 5 acres and quite steep but for the last few days 18 wheelers have been rumbling past hauling dirt to level a lot. people want level lawns and a landscaping service!!!!!!!!! I like my rocks
Great news on no trucks, Veronica! CM and Judda it seems so hard sometimes, doesn't it....all we want is what's best for them, but this d*mn disease (dementia/ALZ) robs them of even the most common sense and turns them into someone who has to be watched every moment.
10am and already a failure for me. Got upset with Mom because she told me all day yesterday that she had changed her incontinence pad every time I asked her - yet when I changed the trash bag this morning in the bathroom, it was empty. At one point yesterday, her pad was so soaked it literally fell out of her undies and slid down her leg onto the floor - I came out of my room after folding laundry and found her holding in her hand, trying to hide it. (sigh)
I didn't get upset in the sense that I was yelling or anything, but I did sit down and remind her (again) that she needs to change her pad frequently, or everything in the house smells like urine. She got all defensive and swore up and down that she changed it several times yesterday - I brought her the trash bag and showed her that she hadn't. She looked very confused and said she thought she had changed it. Then I showed her the protective pad from her chair that had a large stain on it from her sitting on it. So, she went and changed it (I checked the trash) and then laid down without showering, in her smelly nightgown. Argh!
I am trying so hard to let her retain some of her independence and not take over every aspect of her life, but darn it....this stinks.
Oh, and I should add that I'm adding to my long list of chores every day that now I need to check/change the bathroom trash 3-4 times a day to make sure she's changing that pad, because she obviously doesn't remember to do it, or thinks she did - but didn't. Not blaming her for it, of course, but boy that's frustrating....
i was getting overstimulated in the head so went to va this am , dont want complications . doc said not manic , not hallucinating , just wired . theres something she just isnt finding . i know what it is -- freaking exitement . the treatment was sprung on me unexpectedly , then worked in a matter of days , now only 3 weeks left -- who wouldnt be flipping out ? hepc is a m - f . its all about fatigue . i dont need fatigue , got things to do ..
Susan, I don't know if there's still a lock on your mother's bathroom door? We took ours off once I started having nightmares about her falling while she was in there, because she promised faithfully she wouldn't lock the door and ALWAYS did. Anyway; so now when she "pops through" [to go to the loo, that is] I strategically time following her and ask her if I can help her with a clean pad - she always says yes, and because she's not actually in the act, as such, it's less of a privacy problem. You do have to keep your ears open and catch her at the right moment, though. Still! - better than that depressing odour. My mother made me promise, many years ago, that if she ever started to (wrinkles her nose) smell "like that" I would tell her. So far so good and I haven't had to! - but if she were still in charge of pad-changing I think she'd have got quite tired of that particular conversation by now.
Thanks, CM - we live in a TEENY house - 2 bedrooms (1 is Dad's old room and is kind of a junk room right now), Mom sleeps in the living room - has for years - and I sleep in my old childhood bedroom/laundry room. One bathroom, the size of a small walk in closet - no lock. She will let me help her in and out of the shower now - a recent development - but the pad issue persists. She has taken to going into the bathroom and just sitting on the toilet until she starts dozing off. I don't know if she just wants to be alone and that's the only way to do it or what the situation is - I've asked her, and she just says she's "thinking". Unfortunately, while she's sitting in there for up to 30 minutes, "thinking", she forgets that she needs to change her pad, forgets to wipe and forgets to flush. These are all very recent developments, but all seem very par for the course with the decline/early dementia advancing at a steady pace. Since I've moved in, she has improved in some ways (like personal hygiene and showering, because I insist on it), but declined in others (like not doing much of anything for herself other than toileting and showering). Her mobility and memory have declined.
Tonight I managed to change my father's catheter clip and it was no big deal... I'd previously been trying to get him to do it, the nurses have shown him how to do it a few times, but he's simply not going to, he doesn't seem to have the ability/skill to pay attention to his care much at all, for whatever reason. So even though I knew it needed to be done once a week, I was just resisting doing it myself because it meant having my hands very near my father's manparts. Well, tonight I gave him a bowl of beef and noodles and while he sat on edge of his bed and ate it, I changed the clip like it was the most normal activity in the world. I'm a PRO now, I tell ya!
Failure:
Eh, probably just that I'm not being as productive as I'd like to be these days, spending lots of time on social media sites and watching videos on Internet. I think my father's super sedentary ways have rubbed off on me a little.
Hospice nurse had not called so didn't wait this time, went ahead, got yard raked, mowed, storm came, re raked yard, then clipped all the ivy and pruned the shrubs..ALL before the nurse ever called. Have gotten Mama changed again, fed her lunch and am now having a glorious "me" moment!!!! Yards look perfect! I may do some more out there, may not, either way looks mahvelous! Proud of ME!
Very well done Allison you deserve a gold star for that endevour. Those man parts can be quite a challenge. Putting on a pair of gloves can make the touching easier. Rubber not leather!!!!!!!!!!!!
Besides the regular work that's being done on my teeth, I've had several emergency procedures done in the last 3 weeks. My failure was not going by my instincts (pull them all and get dentures) instead of being talked into "saving what we can". Now were almost a 5,000 already, and the ones we were trying to save, have caused the most pain and wasted time,effort and money. My Accomplishment is INSISTING the dentist give me emergency pain pills, since the problems usually happen on the weekend. Lesson learned....go with my gut, it's always right.
I'm going to make everyone feel good. I got absolutely nothing worthwhile done today. No cleaning, no laundry, no yard work, no work on my shop, no shopping for inventory or anything else. Nothing, nada.
Realised ive got a bigger BRAIN than any "shrink". Yep feeling quite chuffed yep mum fooled them all! but she cant fool me! Who needs a degree eh give me a phoney degree and ill just get an office and start charging big money to tell you youre not nuts!!!
Failure for today - still have a LOAD of stuff to do in preparation for our trip and for the workers and housesitter to be here during our absence. I am dragging my feet on this trip and I don't know why. Usually when I get that way, there's a darn good reason for it, and it's like someone is telling me not to move forward - and if I ignore that gut instinct, it usually means trouble. However...I can't cancel the plans now, so darn the torpedos, full speed ahead!
Accomplishment: I did a HUGE amount of work for my clients today, and more to do tonight. Should mean a nice paycheck for next week. I even pulled more work out of one of my clients by wowing her with my project management skills. Rather pleased with that.
Accomplishment, I survived another completely busy and crazy day! Why would mom, who when I was a kid leave doors and windows open until after midnight to let in cool air, do a complete 180 and want everything locked up tight at 6:30?! And naturally not just once did I do this battle, but at least 8 freaking times. And most of the time she just kind of lumbers along, but can sure make a beeline to close and lock up doors!
Snake pit, demonshow about hallucinations and illusions? I did see a lizard in the yard the other day or was that a hallucination? Now I am scared? Does anyone know if we can send evil thought through this website?
Someone please send evil thoughts to the flying ants and regular ants that are swarming in my house right now, please! I dealt with the horrible flying ants last year, learned a lot about them... they nest under concrete (front porch) and swarm once a year as it gets warm. Somehow they get in the house by the hundreds. I thought after last year - and spraying under porch and putting ant bait down - it would help the issue. NO.
Just a few minutes ago I was in kitchen and heard sound like rain drops. I looked out window, its not raining. I keep hearing it, I walk into front room, I open front door... and then I see the sound I hear is dozens of flying ants behind the blinds in big picture windows in front room flying into the glass over and over, trying to get out. As that image is sinking into my brain, I realize I feel something on my feet. I look down and there are dozens of regular little ants crawling all over my feet and up my legs. I'm NOT HAPPY RIGHT NOW. As much as I hate spraying poison bug spray in the house, I doused the whole front door area with it. Will try to calm down and plan what to do next. An exterminator would be good but how much will it cost...?
Failure: I have ant infestation big time.
Accomplishment: I will deal with it. Its just little bugs, no big deal. HALP!!!
See, what I meant, ABB? Those bug baits that Supposedly kills them at their nests Don't Work! Tried it. Like you, that's on my to-do list. Glad that you are now a pro on changing the clip. Don't know what that means, but kudos to you. All I can say is that this last change of my dad's catheter, I can Feel the Tube through his manpart! It kind of grosses me out more than anything. Gross as in Eeeewww. I find myself cleaning him less down there. Gross feeling, know what I mean?
Book, one of first things I thought about today when there were flying ants everywhere and regular ants crawling all over my feet - is how glib I was to tell you "Oh, book, get some ant bait traps, that's all you need," or whatever I said. Yes, I get it. Oh boy, do I get it. I'll come up with something. We can't be the first ever to have to combat ants. I successfully cleared out a bedbug infestation myself, I can handle some ants... ;-)
Well, here comes another one. So far so good. Going to try to keep it that way. A good moment to start my day...Mama and I used to love our coffee time together...since her last surgery and the rapid mental decline, she just totally gave it up...one day this week, and now again this morning, I was sitting beside her with my coffee and asked would she like a cup...she said "yay" so I myself a refill and got her a cup...she enjoyed that cup of coffee so much..it really made my heart happy. I sat her cup down for one moment to get myself a sip and she said "hey, wait a minute...where is my coffee?" she is so cute.....she even had a second cup...these simple tiny moments mean so much to me....and such a sweet way to start my day....all cleaned up, resting cozy in her bed, I'm having a third cup and what a beautiful morning. I hope everyone has a blessed and cozy day!
Alison-you may want to consider having an inspection done under the house. A colony is not easy to rid of....hopefully it is just ants.....termites can look similar.
long story , about feeling so good i cant be held back , mixed with the nurses voices in my head telling me not to overdo it ..
And all I said in response to all this was: "Mother. Use your frame."
Can I have my medal for not blowing up and lecturing her for the 6,258th time now, please?
Actually I will settle for a gin and tonic, which I am off to pour. Hope everyone's had a good day.
What would you do with this behavior? My mother is normally a nutcase but otherwise healthy. I am thinking: I can't change her. Being defensive or angry just makes her harder to deal with so standing up for myself becomes my own punishment. Adopting an attitude of apathy.
Any suggestions? Talking in a nice way doesn't work. I don't know if anything but ignoring her works for me. It's a no win every time. She does this more and more often because she can't hear or respond to people appropriately more and more.
She'll be 93 this week.
When someone is making fun of us, it's hard to remember that witnesses/observers are most unlikely to agree with that someone. But it's true.
Still bloody annoying to have an enjoyable conversation brought to an abrupt end, of course, but better annoying than hurtful.
And maybe cut back her outing rations, especially when you have something better to do? Not to hurt or punish her, but why make the sacrifice if it isn't really necessary?
We moved onto this forgoten dead end road a couple of years ago off a fancy estate but now it has been discovered and a buiding frenzy has erupted. The lots are wooded 5 acres and quite steep but for the last few days 18 wheelers have been rumbling past hauling dirt to level a lot. people want level lawns and a landscaping service!!!!!!!!! I like my rocks
10am and already a failure for me. Got upset with Mom because she told me all day yesterday that she had changed her incontinence pad every time I asked her - yet when I changed the trash bag this morning in the bathroom, it was empty. At one point yesterday, her pad was so soaked it literally fell out of her undies and slid down her leg onto the floor - I came out of my room after folding laundry and found her holding in her hand, trying to hide it. (sigh)
I didn't get upset in the sense that I was yelling or anything, but I did sit down and remind her (again) that she needs to change her pad frequently, or everything in the house smells like urine. She got all defensive and swore up and down that she changed it several times yesterday - I brought her the trash bag and showed her that she hadn't. She looked very confused and said she thought she had changed it. Then I showed her the protective pad from her chair that had a large stain on it from her sitting on it. So, she went and changed it (I checked the trash) and then laid down without showering, in her smelly nightgown. Argh!
I am trying so hard to let her retain some of her independence and not take over every aspect of her life, but darn it....this stinks.
the treatment was sprung on me unexpectedly , then worked in a matter of days , now only 3 weeks left -- who wouldnt be flipping out ?
hepc is a m - f . its all about fatigue . i dont need fatigue , got things to do ..
Tonight I managed to change my father's catheter clip and it was no big deal... I'd previously been trying to get him to do it, the nurses have shown him how to do it a few times, but he's simply not going to, he doesn't seem to have the ability/skill to pay attention to his care much at all, for whatever reason. So even though I knew it needed to be done once a week, I was just resisting doing it myself because it meant having my hands very near my father's manparts. Well, tonight I gave him a bowl of beef and noodles and while he sat on edge of his bed and ate it, I changed the clip like it was the most normal activity in the world. I'm a PRO now, I tell ya!
Failure:
Eh, probably just that I'm not being as productive as I'd like to be these days, spending lots of time on social media sites and watching videos on Internet. I think my father's super sedentary ways have rubbed off on me a little.
My failure was not going by my instincts (pull them all and get dentures) instead of being talked into "saving what we can". Now were almost a 5,000 already, and the ones we were trying to save, have caused the most pain and wasted time,effort and money.
My Accomplishment is INSISTING the dentist give me emergency pain pills, since the problems usually happen on the weekend.
Lesson learned....go with my gut, it's always right.
Accomplishment: I did a HUGE amount of work for my clients today, and more to do tonight. Should mean a nice paycheck for next week. I even pulled more work out of one of my clients by wowing her with my project management skills. Rather pleased with that.
Does anyone know if we can send evil thought through this website?
Just a few minutes ago I was in kitchen and heard sound like rain drops. I looked out window, its not raining. I keep hearing it, I walk into front room, I open front door... and then I see the sound I hear is dozens of flying ants behind the blinds in big picture windows in front room flying into the glass over and over, trying to get out. As that image is sinking into my brain, I realize I feel something on my feet. I look down and there are dozens of regular little ants crawling all over my feet and up my legs. I'm NOT HAPPY RIGHT NOW. As much as I hate spraying poison bug spray in the house, I doused the whole front door area with it. Will try to calm down and plan what to do next. An exterminator would be good but how much will it cost...?
Failure: I have ant infestation big time.
Accomplishment: I will deal with it. Its just little bugs, no big deal. HALP!!!