Dad has passed on.

For those of us that become our own parents primary caregiver at the end...its a beautiful painful gift.

It's often said that you can never repay your parents for the sacrifices they made raising you.

At least, your father at some level, would have gone knowing that he was loved by his child.

You gave your father a precious parting gift. Never forget that.

Take your time to grieve. I know I still am.

My Condolences for your loss.
Give yourself time to grieve.

So sorry for your loss.

Zs60607
Sorry for your loss. I lost my dad November 1 and it still feels like a dream - really a nightmare so I understand how you feel.
My dad suffered from prostate cancer. We knew he had cancer but
He hid from us that the cancer progressed to stage 4. He was an incredibly strong 85 yr old man - still serving as a mentor to kids in our community, still working out 4x a week, and still an active board member at several colleges and high schools. He was an extremely accomplished former athlete and business man.

Being a super independent and fiercely prideful man, he refused to let us accompany him to the doctor and due to HIPPA, information about what was truly going on was not available to us .

I dance between being angry that he hid a lot from us and being extremely sad because I miss him so much. I also feel a tremendous amount of guilt. My head knows there was nothing I can do but my heart will always feel like if I tried harder or dug deeper and asked more questions, I could’ve saved
him…. at least extended his life possibly convince him to undergo treatments.
He chose to do things his way though- no surgeries, chemotherapy , or radiation that would make him sick and diminish his quality of life. Nope, that was of no interest to him. He wanted to live life til the end. I struggle accepting that .

Losing a parent is the worst pain I’ve ever felt but I too have peace knowing that he is no longer suffering and hiding his pain. I have strong faith and I also believe that he’s in a much better place - a beautiful place where he’s strong and healthy again .

I tell you all this because I want you to know that you’re not alone. Our dad’s didn’t leave us. We can’t see them in the flesh but they walk beside us every day smiling…..never too far…..

Sorry for your loss, Zs60707. I hope the good memories can overcome the troubling memories of the last 2.5 years. As for me, today I am four weeks since I made my last daily phone call to dad. The discussion was about falling and my desire for him to have some sort of fall alert system. He fell the next day and died two days later. I suspect you will also have these "last time" days that will trigger you occasionally. For me, I am choosing to remember the good times and it really helped to hear the comments about him from his neighbors and acquaintances. I hope you hear positive recollections about your dad as well.

Thank you all for your comforting words. I have a very small nuclear family that has been a tremendous source of support.

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand your pain. Being the primary caregiver for both of my parents for 3+ years, does wear a person out physically & mentally; I would do it again in a heartbeat. What better way to truly honor parents?
My mother passed away the same year, a few months after my dad.
I understand it feels like a dream, more like a nightmare. It is difficult to believe that this person that was your parent, is really gone. Yes, there is peace of mind knowing that there is no more suffering, no more pain for your dad. I know that you miss your dad. I miss my parents daily.
Wishing you comfort, peace of mind and good days to come your way.

I’m sorry for the loss of your dad. I remember the feelings you describe, as my dad very much wanted his suffering to end. I’m sure your dad knew and valued your love and help. May you have the comfort of memories of happier days. Wishing you healing and peace

I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for this painful loss. May you receive peace in your heart.

I am so sorry for you, my thoughts are with you.

I, too, understand your feeling of relief. It’s as if our grief has already run a marathon as we cope with the changes, especially when they fight our efforts to help smooth their decline. My condolences.

Sorry for your loss.

Thank you for sharing. May his loving memory give you comfort and strength.
You’re a wonderful daughter.
Job well done.

My deepest sympathies for your loss. May you find comfort in knowing you did the best you could.

Zs, my deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved father. What a difficult road it was for you, but I hope you feel proud of yourself for being able to see your dad through to the end. He was very fortunate to have you in his life.

Thinking of you. 😊

Z,

I am so sorry for your loss.

You described perfectly what many of us feel towards the end of our parents’ lives. They definitely aren’t the same people that they used to be.

So, in a sense we start to grieve the parents we knew long before they die. Then, we continue our grief after their physical bodies die.

Wishing you peace as you mourn for your dad. I am glad that you take comfort knowing that he is no longer suffering.

I have to say that I felt relieved when my parents died. Did I grieve? Did I miss them? Of course, I did and I still miss them, but I was relieved to know that they were out of their misery and finally at peace.