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FF if you do that you will probably get it back stamped in big red letters "REJECTED" No refund for you!!!!!!!
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I'll have to add my list of victims/fatalities here....

Dog:
My little Corgi hated the vacuum - we're talking major HATE here. I had to keep her in another room if I vacuumed, or she'd attack it. (Lesson learned after she ripped the rubber bumper off one vacuum while it was in motion.) She got loose one day while I was vacuuming (and I didn't hear her because the vacuum was running) - until she barked and then lunged between my legs from behind me to bite the vacuum. She missed. I still have a canine-tooth-shaped scar from the hole she put in my leg by sinking her tooth into my calf.

Larger dog that I have now was a terrible chewer as a puppy. Dog - 1. Rocking chair - 0. (He chewed the wooden rockers right off one night as we slept. He was crated at night after that until he got older.)

Cat:
Ohh...almost too many to tell here. This cat is nuts, I tell you. Former stray, so I think he was on his own for most of his 18 months before we took him in. In that 18 months, he developed some very bad habits.

Things he has run off with:
-The plug from the bathroom sink.
-Small pieces of the Christmas tree branches
-Various Christmas ornaments
-The baby Jesus from my nativity scene
-Charger cords (several) for my cell phone
-He has toy mice hidden all over the house - every time I do a deep cleaning I find about 5 of them, and he plays with them all day until he loses them again.

Things he has chewed and/or tried to eat:
-Legos (despite my repeated attempts to get DD to keep them picked up - pretty sure there will be a vet visit sometime in the future if they don't move out soon.)
-Charger cords again - my current phone charger cord has teeth marks in it, because he finds it at night when I'm sleeping, no matter where I put it, and chews it. Finally had to put it in a closed cabinet to charge.
-Hair dryer cord. He climbed up on the sink during the night to reach the hair dryer in its holder on the wall. (not plugged in at the time, of course)
-Mom's oxygen hose. I can't tell you how many times she'd get up in the morning and say she felt like she wasn't getting enough air - yeah, you're not, Mom, because there are holes in the dang hose. Finally had to lock the cat in a spare room at night, which caused him to yowl and claw at the door all night. I don't miss those nights.
-Shoelaces. He thinks they're noodles, I think. (not that I feed him noodles.)
-Shoes. Slippers. Socks.
-BRAS. He loves bras. The straps fascinate him. I've woken up at night to hear him rifling through the dirty clothes hamper to find a bra and chewing on the clips.
-Various body parts. This guy is a biter - worse than any puppy I've ever seen. When we first got him, he was up on the back of a chair at my chest level, and I was petting him. Apparently he'd had enough, so he reached out and bit me right on the boob! As I was reacting with shock, he promptly bit the other one!
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It's more fun when the cat grabs the paper out of the printer when the paper is finished printing.... and the cat runs off with it. Can I send in my income taxes with teeth marks?
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On second thought, I probably don't qualify for the club because my hand did not get infected, although the E.R. treated the wound.
Seems the cat bites and scratches, or cat scratch fever was very serious.

Oops, just bit my own tongue!  Will I now get lockjaw?  Not be able to talk, or type?  (Possible, if I was typing hunt and peck by using a pencil!)  Maybe if I get a cat, it could walk across the keys for me (kindle with touchscreen here).
A sort of assistive cat.  Nice.
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Sure Send dog bites certainly qualify. I have heard of cat scratch fever but not dog bite poisoning.
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Lol.
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It's slightly less humiliating if it's a dog! Unless it's a chihuahua puppy or something.

Not sure why, though. All the animal programmes are quick to point out that cats are essentially purpose-built killing machines, razors at each corner and daggers in the middle. It's just there's something really feeble about having been beaten in a fight by something that weighs approximately one-sixteenth of you.

Mind you, speaking of unfair fights. My former neighbour shot a mouse with an air rifle, after his semi-feral cat had brought it in for him one night as a treat, to play with. And he stood on a chair to do it. The man's about six foot tall, for heaven's sake, and apparently with a big yellow stripe down his back.
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Joining the club here? Does it count if the scar on my hand is from my dog?
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No CountryMouse...Polka Dot wouldn't have wanted to harm me and I know she didn't mean to bite me.Mom just said"Get 'em!",so I grabbed an umbrella and tried to spike the two somehow,but my hand got in the way and I got bit.Poor Polk was quenteened for 9 days in a cage someplace and I had men in uniforms I thought were cops at the foot of my hospital bed from Animal Control.Now I have 5 tiny tuxedo cats that look just like PolkaDot,Mother's favorite cat of all time and I really believe she's playing a joke on me from Heaven.She and Dad are probably laughing their heads off~~~
(quarantined )
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And I'm glad Polka Dot got reprieved! Poor little girl, she probably really was frightened. I'm sure she wouldn't have meant any harm to you.
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It was very hot! - I don't remember its being painful. On the other hand, I don't think I realised at the time quite how ill I was, or quite how lucky that the GP I saw took one look and said straight to hospital with you - I was probably a bit out of it, and very fortunate not to have left it any longer.

The GP wanted our cat put to sleep, too. Though he said "what if the animal attacks your elderly mother?" and quite honestly at that particular moment, seeing as how Elderly Mother was blaming me for not keeping hold of "poor little Hansie, he must have been so frightened," and giving me looks that could have killed... well, let's just say the doctor wasn't exactly appealing to my better nature.

The orthopaedic people made me go back for x-rays for a full year afterwards to check there weren't any pockets of infection regrowing, but happily I haven't had any further problems with it. Except for having to 'fess up to it on medical and dental forms since, under the question that says "have you had any hospital admissions in the last ten years?"

Grr, yes, let's all have a good laugh about it, shall we..?
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CountryMouse...I'm sorry you got bit in the hand too and I know it hurt SO bad.Do you still have pain in your hand at times?...I was referred to as "Cat bite Woman" too,but I didn't care because they kept me full of painkillers besides the antibiotics.What really bothered me about that ordeal was that the Animal Control people said they might have to BeHead my cat because we didn't know if it had it's rabies shot and I loved Polka Dot,so I was scared.Thankfully,she didn't have rabies.And I learned to never try to break up a cat fight again.
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Better not introduce Bird people, Send! Every few years there's a punch-up in the paper when somebody writes in about the number of songbirds predated by domestic cats and how cat owners should be banned from allowing their cats to go outside, and somebody else writes in and says how the first person should be banned from breathing, and lots of people will write in with anecdotes about how their cat saved a robin from drowning, or stood guard over a nest to keep the squirrels away, and finally the editors will chip in with a two page story about the rivalry between the Prime Minister's cat and the Chancellor of the Exchequer's cat and how they came to blows during a televised press conference in Downing Street, and then it all dies down again. Until next time.
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Yay Lucky! We can start a club! I caught my mother's cat - tried to, that is - making his escape bid when we moved to our new house, and he sank his fangs deep into my hand. Went to the urgent treatment centre and the nurse disinfected it and bandaged it. Next day it looked like a surgical glove that someone had blown up for a joke. Back to the walk-in centre, and the alert GP on duty there sent me straight to hospital for admission for IV antibiotics. I was there for three or four nights, and overheard the nurses referring to me as "Cat Bite Woman." Never been so humiliated in my life. Everybody else on the ward - it was an orthopaedic surgical ward - had real things wrong with them. Oh the shame!
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I Love the way nature takes care of nature too Send.Iv'e learned so much through Bootsie and her babies.The kittens are doing good,running and playing now at almost 5 weeks old.They are now showing their unique personalities too.I have one that's a "Loner",one that's very out going,one that always is getting into trouble,one that's just a mellow piece of Love,and the runt"Little Moe" who tries so hard to keep up with the rest.It's really fun to watch them play.
I'll probably leave the Daddy cat alone because Iv'e already been bit by a cat and gotten blood poisoning and been hospitalized because I was trying to break up a cat fight years ago.I'll just keep a close eye on everybody.I appreciate everyone's input...Thank you!
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Sure that Luckylu will made the correct decision for her cats, I want to apologize for bringing up a controversial topic. Always knew there were issues with dog people vs. cat people. With this issue, soon caregiver cat people may be fighting caregiver cat people, for or against the TNR.

I love all pets, and love the people caring for them. I love the way nature takes care of nature.

Good luck with the kittens and Bootsie, Luckylu.
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Be careful stamping to frighten them away. My client was off work for a month after he tore his cruciate ligament doing exactly that. He was a very good client, and I liked him too, but I also like cats and struggled not to say "serves you right."

I believe that as part of the neutering programme the cat's ear is clipped - painlessly, I trust - so that it can be identified as already done. Might be worth checking before you bother with this one, if you can get close enough. Before I caught up with the neutering conversation, my internal response to seeing Susan's comment was "catching a feral cat is best not accomplished at all!"
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Catching a feral cat is best accomplished with a live trap baited with wet cat food.
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Luckylu,
The spay/neuter/return program:
Maybe someone knows the answer to the catching part. But I am pretty sure you pay for the neuter, then bring him home in a cage from the vets.
This is a difficult and emotional process, best left to the experienced.
There are cat people who do this work. It is an entire thing, full of controversy, and all time consuming if anyone starts to control the feral cat population in their own neighborhood.
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Cats pajamas, lol!!! I should see if I can order us matching cat pajamas, how fun that would be !! Or cats for me and hound dogs for him, haha.
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No Send,The big,fat,old tuxedo Daddy cat doesn't howl.He just comes to our back door wanting inside.So far,I haven't had to spray anyone and how can I feed the other strays and not feed that one?And I could never catch or touch or hold the Daddy cat to take it to get fixed at the spay neuter program.Do they come and catch them?Then bring them back to the neighborhood?
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Well, the tuxedo daddy-o cat is technically in the family, or at the very least the sperm donor. In my thinking, that makes him your responsibility too, ha ha ha. Does he howl?
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SharynMarie,
Now that your hubs (congratulations) had his last day at work, he can put on the cat's pajamas and you both can celebrate by puttin' on the Ritz!

FF, All my pets got bottled water. And like Luckylu, they went to In N Out and got patties. Usually only on a car trip because it was more fun. Their weight was normal for spoiled dogs, I think.

Luckylu, I wanted to explain that you don't actually spray the cat with water. But if you don't want feral howling cats or racoons to wake the neighborhood, scare them away. You just loudly go for the hose, turn on (that noise is enough to scare them) the water, stomp your feet, spray the water in their direction as they jump the fence but don't return later.
Keep in mind, this is Southern California weather and they might enjoy a little spurtz when they are in heat, in the heat. It would be cruel to get a critter wet if it's cold or snowing.
Here in L.A., we get to choose between the cats howling or the neighbors swearing, or coming outside with a gun!
If you are feeding the feral cats on purpose, the Daddy cat too, then that will disturb Bootsie while she is in heat. imo.  Have you heard about the spay/neuter/return program?  Get him fixed, return to feral life?
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Countrymouse,
Love the name Xanadu!
Wouldn't it be nice if people too would put their tongue away properly? Lol.
Or stopped being "catty"?

Or how about this one:
Cat got your tongue?
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Poor Xanadu. So did we laugh, except for my mother, who never forgave us. Xanadu was also one of those cats who'd forget to put her tongue away properly - you know the sort, who finish washing and then sit up looking gormless with their tongues sticking out.

Goodness! What a long time ago it was, but it so doesn't seem it.
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Unfortunately kittens and adult cats cannot digest cow or goat milk. They will get dehydrated from chronic diarrhea if given daily and can die from it. Weening kittens to kitten foods and water is ideal.
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CountryMouse, inside we give our cats Brita water... but what do they do, they rather go outside and drink the water that is sitting in the bottom catch for a large potted plant.... yummy, dirt with the water :P

Laughing about the cat running around the house with a box of tissues on her head :))
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Er...

I agree that cats must have access to clean, plain water at all times.

Prefer?

Ummmmm...

Mind you, they almost certainly shouldn't have chocolate either. Nobody mentioned that to my mother's weirdo Siamese, though. The one who also got her head stuck in a tissue cube and ran round the house like that with no one able to catch her and scared herself so much she went and wee'd in the corner.

World's stupidest cat. Or was she..? My mother felt so sorry for her she used to wear her, like a fox fur, and feed her on demand. Maybe not as dumb as she made out, then.
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Kimber, please do not leave out milk for a cat... cat are lactose intolerant once they become an adult... it will upset their stomachs big time. Cats prefer just plain old water :)
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I love these bad cats and dogs stories as a humorous change to the sad and stressful posts on other topics. My husband is severely allergic to cats and dogs - although he adores them. So we have kind of adopted a beautiful black and white cat that patrols our yard in the morning looking for mice and chipmunks. My son leaves out milk for him and enjoys petting him. We don't own him but enjoy him.
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