Deanna Lueckenotte
Alzheimer’s book author, consultant
Deanna Lueckenotte is the author of "Alzheimer's Days Gone By: For Those Caring for Their Loved Ones." She plans to continue publishing books related to Alzheimer's and caregivers. She would also like to continue her education by obtaining her doctorate in geriatrics.
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Question
Mom with dementia doesn't recognize my dad who's her primary caregiver. Anyone experience this?
To try to assist with the fear your mom has of your dad try to figure out what is triggering the fear. Is it a certain time of day,... To try to assist with the fear your mom has of your dad try to figure out what is triggering the fear. Is it a certain time of day, approach, during care, in certain rooms in the home etc. From gathering this info it will help you assist your mom and dad to have a better living situation. Once you figure out triggers work around the triggers and try to avoid or engage differently to ensure a better outcome. Also when your mom does not remember your dad it is best to not push reality and let go and go where your mom is. If she thinks at that moment that your dad is a stranger than it is best for your dad to engage her as a "stranger." I would also put a photo/story book together with pictures from their life to use to try to assist with gentle reminders of her life as she welcomes this technique known as reminisce. You can tell through her body language and tone if the photo book is going to work at that moment. You may need to approach over and over again. Always remember that they are leading the dance and we are blessed to dance with them each day. Another way to look at it is to let go of your reality and enter theirs.
Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with those in their days gone by,
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Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with those in their days gone by,
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Question
Is a big community better for Alzheimer's care?
No matter the size it is important to research your choices in your area as well as visit in person. During your visit observe how the... No matter the size it is important to research your choices in your area as well as visit in person. During your visit observe how the staff interact with you. Do they smile, etc? Also look at the residents and see how they are dressed, what they are doing, odors, etc. Ask the community if they do Alzheimer's training and what type? Is it in person with a trainer, via video and how many hours and how often? I am an advocate for in person trainings. Videos can do only so much especially with the day to day workings in regards to behaviors and communication. Ask what their staff to client ratio is and then look around at how many residents in comparison to how many employees. Ask to see their last state survey. Observe what type of programming the community offers. It is important to have programming that will not overwhelm your loved one as well as programming that is appropriate. If you are unsure of what is appropriate ask questions about their programming and why they do certain activities. Observe the environment and if you consider it over stimulating. Observe how easy it is for you to figure our your surroundings and if you have difficulty on your first visit than that gives you an idea of how your loved one will feel every day. With all this said I personally lean toward smaller communities yet have experienced some great communities that were on the larger size. It comes down to how the size is being managed, the ratio between caregivers and residents and the appropriate training for the team members.
Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with those in their days gone by,
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Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with those in their days gone by,
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Question
Should I correct my mother when she repeats questions?
Lots of great responses to your question about repeating same questions and such over and over again. It is very taxing on the caregiver... Lots of great responses to your question about repeating same questions and such over and over again. It is very taxing on the caregiver mentally with the repeating of verbalizations. Your best bet is to answer the question like it was the first time you heard it. If your loved one repeats something that is inaccurate try not correcting them. Think of it as dancing. They are leading you in the dance. Another way to look at it is to let go of your reality and enter their's wherever they may be. Park your reality at the curb per se. To help with the stress caregiving will cause try to find outlets for yourself. Look for a support group in person or online. Take time to do things that YOU enjoy. I wish you strength, courage and happiness with your loved one in their days gone by.
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Why can't my father remember things anymore?
Jeanne is correct with her response to your question. It is called retrogenesis. Someone with Alzheimer's typically will revert back... Jeanne is correct with her response to your question. It is called retrogenesis. Someone with Alzheimer's typically will revert back in other times in their life. I know it does not make it any easier for you and it makes sense that it would hurt your feelings. Try to remember that he is not doing it to hurt you. It was so hard on me when my grandmother could not remember me as her granddaughter yet thought I was my mom (her daughter in law) that had passed away when I was 20. I was 26 when I went on my journey with Alzheimer's with my grandmother. Hope you are able to work through your hurt feelings. Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with those in their days gone by,
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All the doctor told us was that my mom was diagnosed with dementia. What do we do now?
I apologize that the doctor did not sit and talk with you through hearing the diagnosis of dementia. Could you tell me a bit more about... I apologize that the doctor did not sit and talk with you through hearing the diagnosis of dementia. Could you tell me a bit more about your loved one who was recently diagnosed as well as a summary of the situation? Plus if you could give me an idea of your goals if any as well as some questions you would like answered that would be great. Thanks in advance. Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with those in their days gone by.
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Question
Is extreme anxiety common with elderly or is it early dementia?
It is definitely a balancing act! It is hard to say what may be causing the anxiety. It could be a combination of things. My advice is... It is definitely a balancing act! It is hard to say what may be causing the anxiety. It could be a combination of things. My advice is to take your mother to the doctor to have a physical and a good once over from her primary physician. Put a summary together in writing about situations you have had with your mother in regards to her anxiety and what lead to the episode to have for her doctor. Also do you have friends and family members that may be able to offer support and assistance to help you manage your total balancing act! Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with those in their days gone by!
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We just moved my in-laws with dementia and now they want to visit their old home. Should we let them go back a...
You have a great deal on your plate and I send you positive thoughts! In regards to the mother in law with dementia and wanting to go visit... You have a great deal on your plate and I send you positive thoughts! In regards to the mother in law with dementia and wanting to go visit her old home I would say to not take her to visit. With her diagnosis of dementia she chances are will forget the visit once you do take her and will ask over and over again to go visit her old home. Look through old photo albums and find some great pics of her home with fond memories and put a "scrap" type book together for her. When she starts talking about wanting to go home redirect her to the photos. It is great if you know some of the information behind some of the photos so you as well as others can sit and talk with her about the great times spent there. The other thing to keep in mind is with dementia they will ask the same questions over and over again so you may be using the photo scrap book a great deal in your day to day care. I hope you find this helpful. Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with those in their days gone by.
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Question
Is loss of focus and short term memory always a sign of Alzheimer’s and dementia or can it be a sign of other...
I would line up a doctor's visit. There could be many reversible causes for his symptons you have discussed. Depression, medication... I would line up a doctor's visit. There could be many reversible causes for his symptons you have discussed. Depression, medication interactions with each other, dehydration, Vitamin B-12 deficiency, thryoid issues, urinary tract infection and many others. Work on getting him into his doctor to learn more. Wishing you strength, courage and happiness.
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Why is it that your loved one with Alzheimer’s and Dementia can temporarily speak perfectly when they get scar...
What I have noticed over the years is that social setting words and cues stay intact through most if not all the disease process. It may... What I have noticed over the years is that social setting words and cues stay intact through most if not all the disease process. It may also include when they become scared or alarmed. With that said you never know. I would still contact the Alzehimer's Association to see if reserachers have looked at adreline being released and the outcomes with these studies if any. Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with those in their days gone by.
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My 91-year-old dad was just transferred to lock down at his assisted living home. If it is to expensive can I...
The answer is yes! The above answers are great! So glad to be surrounded by so many great people to help others. Check with your local... The answer is yes! The above answers are great! So glad to be surrounded by so many great people to help others. Check with your local Alzheimer's Association to see what resources including nursing homes with a "safe haven" that might be available for your dad. If an Alzheimer's Association is not in your area check with the assisted living he has stayed in for all this time about other options in the area. Granted we (as the professionals offering a service) hate to see someone leave yet if it it time for whatever reason they should know the resources in their area. Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with those in their days gone by,
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Question
I'm on Namenda. Will it really help?
I can not agree more with all the advice and knowledge already received. Keep the communication lines open with your wife about what your... I can not agree more with all the advice and knowledge already received. Keep the communication lines open with your wife about what your wishes are for your future. Together you can shop for services you may or may not need in the future. You can help your wife now by talking and planning. It is not easy by any means. I wish you strength, courage and happiness! Thoughts and prayers sent. see more
Question
What do we do with a parent who believes we are poisioning her with doctor prescribed medicine?
Talk with your doctor to make sure the medicine she is currently taking can be crushed up. If not ask if there is a comparable medication... Talk with your doctor to make sure the medicine she is currently taking can be crushed up. If not ask if there is a comparable medication that can be crushed. Once you have handled that part crush up the medications in her food. For example a yogurt or pudding. Stay close by while she is having snack to make sure she eats it. This technique works great with someone with a form of dementia. see more
Question
My mom is suffering from depression and has not left her room in over a year. Is there anything I can do to ge...
Wow! You are in a tough situation. I am guessing if she has not left her room much over the past year she also has not been to her... Wow! You are in a tough situation. I am guessing if she has not left her room much over the past year she also has not been to her doctor...other than the hospital stay? I wish I had the answer for you. Do you have support from other family or friends that might try to help encourage her to go out places with them? I will say prays for you and your mom!
Wishing you strength, courage and happiness,
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Wishing you strength, courage and happiness,
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Question
Am I liable if my mother doesn't go to the doctor for her medical condition if I am the caregiver?
I agree with the comments of others left thus far. If you feel your mom is in an unsafe situation and you are unable to get her to change... I agree with the comments of others left thus far. If you feel your mom is in an unsafe situation and you are unable to get her to change her mind about the care she needs you may need to call Adult Protective Services to help you and your mom figure out resources and options in the area. This of course is used when you feel you have exhausted all other alternatives and feel your mom is unsafe.
Wishing you strength, courage and happiness.
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Wishing you strength, courage and happiness.
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Question
I take care of both of my parents and have Power of Attorney for my dad. The lawyer said I didn't need POA for...
I agree with other comments. You will need a POA for both your parents. The other comments are giving you very sound advice. Their are... I agree with other comments. You will need a POA for both your parents. The other comments are giving you very sound advice. Their are long term care settings that specialize in Alzheimer's for example that will request a POA before they will admit your loved one to their setting. Wishing you strength, courage and happiness!
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My 83-year-old uncle has dementia and the doctor says it's getting worse. What is dementia and what are the sy...
Both these comments are filled with great resources for you. Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with your loved one on this... Both these comments are filled with great resources for you. Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with your loved one on this journey! see more
Question
My mom has Alzheimer's and she thinks pictures of her grandkids are real kids. How should we respond when she...
When caring for someone with Alzheimer's always let go of your reality and enter their reality wherever they may be. If your loved one... When caring for someone with Alzheimer's always let go of your reality and enter their reality wherever they may be. If your loved one wants you to feed the grandkids you could respond by engaging them in a reminsce activity about some of the favorite meals that have prepared in the past. You can also agree and say you will go to the kitchen to see what we can cook for them. Have your loved one help prepare a simple light snack if have eaten recently and sit down to eat together and talk about fond memories. see more
Question
My dad has dementia and keeps saying he "feels like he is not here". What is he trying to tell me?
Sending luck and prayers your way Christine! You are a blessing for your mom!
Deanna
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Question
My dad has dementia and keeps saying he "feels like he is not here". What is he trying to tell me?
I agree with Carol's comment posted above. Your dad is trying to communicate that he knows he is not truly who he remembers. In... I agree with Carol's comment posted above. Your dad is trying to communicate that he knows he is not truly who he remembers. In regards to the behaviors he is exhibiting try to keep a log of the behaviors with the who, what, when, where concept to see if there is a pattern and what may be causing his outbursts. Educate yourself on reminsincing techniques, validation therapy, therapuetic lie technique as well as other ways to communicate with your dad. Remember to always enter his reality wherever that may be. If he is having a disoriented moment and thinks his mom is still alive(and she is no longer living) for example then that is where you need to be. Reality orientation is not always the best technique to use and it can put your loved one in a failure environment which in turn can increase his behavioral outbursts.
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Has anyone started anyone on Donepezil Hcl Tabs 5 mg for memory loss/dementia?
Wishing you strength, courage and happiness with those in their days gone by,
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