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pamela6148
Give a Hug
Feb 20, 2010
There is another thread on here with some really good comments and suggestions on this site Curtis.
About 12 yrs ago my mom made a left hand turn, jumped the curb and stopped just short of running into a building. She decided then to give up driving. She never talked to anyone about it and just out of the clear blue sky one day she said that she was no longer going to drive. She surrendered her license, and got an I.D. instead.
Have you seen Driving Miss Daisy because depending on the circumstances elders want to always feel their independence. Giving up a lic. means they have to depend on someone else to take them everywhere.
But there are also transportations that they can apply for and it's free. Call and they'll come pick them up, and return them as well.
Personally I think elder's driving is a hazzard but that's my personal opinion. They can cause accidents, and mistaken the gas pedal for the brake, it's happened.
Guess the best thing is to talk to your parent and see what they think.
Hope that helps.
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KelleyBean
I'll tell you when it was time for us. my brother had bought a car for my mom and he got a notice that she had been in an accident. Found out it wasnt the only accident. Needless to say, it was LONG past time. Mom keeps saying that she is better and wants to get her license again. HAHAHAHA is all i say!!You need to really follow your instincts. If you're here asking this, maybe thats the sign its time. Find out about public transportation in your area for the elderly and disabled. There might be a program, like here, that gives discounts or fixed rate rides. And will have to tell you. It really is a matter of taking the keys away and being strong!! Good Luck!! This one is a toughy!!
linda09
yes it is tough ! my dad would sneak and drive but turns around and comes back cuz he knows he s gonna get lost , the dr told him he couldnt drive anymore . dad had the spare key and refuse to give em to me . it took all summer to have him aruge with me i told him u take a hand full of pills pa !! its like driving drnk ! nooo way i let you drive , ill drive u anywhere u wanna go , finaly he accepts it . it takes a while and they will get over it ..good luck , im glad he finaly accepts it .
Feb 22, 2010
Just saw on the news a 78 yr old crashes into the front of a Michaels (excuse the spelling) bldg. A 53 yr old woman and her 4 yr old daughter air lifted to the hospital. Further information pending until investigation concluded.
dwestlake
My father drove until age 94. His eyesight was failing and he had several close calls.....that he told me about. He had a bad reaction to a medication and ended up in the hospital and spent 5 days in a semi coma. He had given me power of attorney so I had the legal authority to dispose of the car. I simply gave the car to a cousin.
dugger
M y mother had a couple of really bad accidents, both her fault, one put her in the hospital for a long time. I didn't know about this at the time but was told about it when I moved here to take care of her. So when I saw my Mother turn into the oncoming traffic lane it was tough but I took the car and sold it as fast as I could. She was mad for a while but finally got over it.
anne123
Feb 23, 2010
I went through this with my Dad. There was sort of an "acid test" for my husband and me, telling us it was indeed time to have Dad stop driving---and that is---We asked ourselves if we would put our children in the car with Dad driving. Nope! So we knew it was time. Another "sign" was that when I took Dad out for a "test drive", he paused in the middle of the road and couldn't make a decision as to which way to go . (He was "spacing out.") Another driver honked at him. A family friend of Dad's pointed out to him dings and scratches on the fenders of his car, so he noticed too that it was time for Dad to stop driving. As it turned out, my uncle ( a physician ) came to me and told me that Dad should not drive anymore. Dad complied when we told him this observation had come from this particular person in the family. Dad stopped driving but he was still angry about it. It was then an emotional and difficult task to sell his car. Good Luck.
I wanted to add a comment to my last one....Sometimes one parent can try to "block" the adult children from getting the other parent to stop driving. My mother did this. During my mother's last year of life, I knew that it was time for Dad to stop driving, but when I brought up the subject, Mom would say to me out of Dad's earshot: "That's too much to ask of him" and "If he can't drive, he'd just as soon be dead." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My mother had a very strong personality ,and she was able to get her way often by intimidating me, my husband, and my father. My mother died a few months after saying these things to me, and that's when we got Dad to stop driving. This is a very difficult task, but you have my best wishes, prayers, and support!
tinapick
Feb 24, 2010
my dad still thinks he should be able to drive. I would sooner set fire to the car than let him.
tennessee
My dad couldn't walk anymore,but he could slide under the wheel.He said how bad it made him feel to not be able to walk,"but when I get in that TOWN CAR,I am in control,I can drive 70 MPH. Be sides being in his 80's,he was also blind on one side.After asking him about different dings in the side of the car,I started washing the car for him and driving him whereever he needed to go.I did all of his errands;Idrove his dog and him around. I hung on to the keys,so I could have piece of mind.Parents like it when the kids seem to give a flip.I think anyone would rather have family around than strangers to care for them.Its ashamed all siblings aren't created equal I drove my dad around for years,he had a perfect driving record,he taught me how to drive at around 6,he said I was the best driver in the family. He didn't seem to miss driving as long as I was there for him,with him.I did this for years without any problem until my brother told my dad that I should give back the car keys that I had stole them. Then thinks to my brother it became a issue. Because it became a issue my dad wanted me to get the car in my name,since I'm the one doing all of the driven and errands;I did. Even though my siblings wasn't apart of our life their jelousy sure was. Never could understand how someone who never is around could feel that way.It is hard enough to be in pain every day,most of you friends and family dead. Parents may act like children sometime but they deserve the same respect as always.I don't feel that way if the parent is a lousy parent. My dad was our hero.Even from the bed I Emphasized what he could do and not what he couldn'T. He knew his driving had gone down hill, I TURNED IT INTO A FATHER=DAUGHTER BONDING EXPERIENCE. He enjoyed the company more than the driving,never even mention it until my DA brother acused me of taking advantage. Sometimes I think my brother wanted something to happen to my dad and he resented me always rescuing him.
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