Can my sibling sue me for elder abandonment?

MichaelFroman

Jan 30, 2012

There ia much more here than what we are being told. The intra-sibling nastiness suggests long, deeply-rooted issues. And mom indeed seems to be enjoying the role of "family Machiavelli". If one of you goes to an elder law lawyer, then others may choose to do so and you'll be mired in unfriendly, unhappy, unproductive litigation.
You might all consider intra-family mediation to work out all the elements of this rather messy scenario. Mediation can be cheaper and faster than litigation and may provide a total settlement of all issues and not just some.

Michael

Helpful Answer (2)

BridgetW

Jan 20, 2012

Sounds like your mother has lost ler "will" to live since your father passed. She has no "meaning" to her life she may feel no reason to live. Just my first thoughts. Have you been to her doctor with her? Who has POA over her? Have you checked out AL facilities, do you think she is board?
Just a few thoughts.
Blessings,
Bridget

Jan 20, 2012

Unless you had a contract with the family, I don't see how your sister would have any standing to sue. Now if you had left your mother in a park somewhere, it would be a criminal matter. That didn't happen. If no one is able to care for your mother, perhaps it would be best to look into either independent or assisted living in a senior community.

Jan 20, 2012

Added on -- or if she is doing fine at her house, maybe some home care would do the trick.

Jan 20, 2012

Normally POA only comes into play if your mother is not competent to make decisions. If your mother says yes to meals on wheels and yes to some house cleaning and hygiene help, her word should carry. There may be some legalities that I don't know, but it is usually how POAs work. If your mother has not been ruled to be incompetent, she should be able to spend her money as she chooses. It's her money.

Jan 20, 2012

If she wants to stay in her home, she may be willing to do the things that helps keep her there. That may be the ace that you hold. I do think it important that your mother be given as much control as possible over what she wants. If she is unable to decide, your sister's POA is important. However, your sister does not have the power to move your mother in with you against your wishes. There are other options.

wheel029

Jan 20, 2012

Yes, I know she has lost her will. However, we have encourged her to get out, go back to church, do her hobbies, to no avail. Yes, we all have been to the doctor's with her multiple times. My oldest sibling that wants to sue me for elder abandonment has POA....

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wheel029

Jan 20, 2012

I agree with home care. I think she would do the same as she is at our homes. She watches TV and can get her lunch. I even mentioned meals on wheels, etc. but my sister who is POA does not want to spend the money. Go figure.

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wheel029

Jan 20, 2012

Agree on all accounts. My sister is considering herself attorney-in-fact and wants some of the grandchildren to return items that were given to them by mom. However, you have to understand my mom is playing all of us against each other. She is very bitter and undecisive in some of her dealings. Yes, give 1 minute and then wants it back the next. I think this has something to do more with her time of growing up (depression era on) than her not being of sound mind. She had never spent the night alone until dad passed. When they married they even lived with my grandparents for awhile and she has never been alone and does not know how to. I think this is our biggest hurdle to overcome.

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