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I just got home and found a note that my mom and her 24hr sitter had gone to the store. When they got back my mom said she didn't go in the store and apparently stayed in the car while the sitter went in. I bought groceries the day before so am pretty sure there was no urgent need for any essentials and noticed the sitter had no bags when they came into the house. I am upset that my mother was left alone in a parked car even if it was just for a few minutes. She cannot get around without the aid of a walker and has mild dementia, CHF, and is hard of hearing. It was cold and raining this morning as well. Am I overreacting? Or should this be a concern that needs to be discussed with the sitter? I am too annoyed to talk to her at the moment so am taking this time to get some feedback and advice......any thoughts or comments will be appreciated. Thanks!

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Answered this three years ago and I am still left alone in the car at almost 80, mainly because I drive myself!!!!!!!!!
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I think you should go with your gut feelings. It's obvious that you don't want your mom left in the car so this should be communicated in a professional manner to the sitter. You are paying for a service so you should feel free to call the shots to make decisions that are in your mother's best interest.
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I think you should go with your gut feelings. It's obvious that you don't want your mom left in the car so this should be communicated in a professional manner to the sitter. You are paying for a service so you should feel free to call the shots to make decisions that are in your mother's best interest. It's very reasonable to ask her not to leave her in the car and ask if there's anything that needs to be changed to make sure that the sitter also gets her needs met.
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Three years is a long time to be left sitting in a car!
I wonder just how long would be okay.
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This questiont is from 3 years ago.
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Well, 24 hour sitters are very hard to find. This means they have no life of their own. How well can sitter be replaced? Raining, and a walker, she did OK in the car. So do you buy the sitter's personal needs or do you feel she doesn't need any being your mother's 24-hour sitter? Yes, cut her some slack.
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Many years ago, my Boss had his wife [who had Alzheimer's] in his vehicle, parked the car, and left her in the car thinking she would be safe. Someway, somehow, she was able to get the car into gear and it rolled out of the parking spot. Thankfully the car didn't hit anyone or any other vehicles. He never again left her alone in the car.

Yes, it made if difficult to run errands and get groceries. He then placed his wife into Adult Day Care which gave him more flex time for errands.
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Here's another reason not to leave a passenger alone in a parked car. Sometimes the person driving me will leave the keys in the ignition and leave me in the parked car. I tell these people not to do it because a stranger could push me out and drive off with the car.
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I am a caregiver .i will not ever leave my client in the car too many things can happen while im gone
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No I wouldn’t I was always scared to leave my mom alone in a car
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What if something happened to the caregiver? Could
your lo figure out how to get help for theirself. Are they
cognizant enough to give name and phone number or
emergency number, do they have readily accessible id?
I think the caregiver should be reprimanded or replaced
if this happens. Elderly and vulnerable people shouldn't
be left in the car alone. And using time paid for one purpose but used otherwise is stealing...imo.
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I only leave my DW alone if were are on the Air Force base so I can go in and get our munchies and drink for the ride home. In summer I will open the drivers window and keep the other doors locked. I never leave the keys in the car with her and I worry constantly while I am in the store. She could wander. But she likes her danish and it can be a fight to get her into her seat belt. But we manage for now.
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Riley2166: Your answer was on point. Kudos!
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Although it's three years since the question was raised about whether a passenger should be left alone in a car, I would like to add my opinion. Anytime I am in a car with a driver who parks to go alone into a store or business, I tell them that if I am to be left alone in a parked car, I want the driver to take the keys and lock the car door while I am in it. I don't want a stranger to be able to jump into the driver's seat, push me out of the car, and drive away.
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I have a simple question. If store needs are necessary and it is the caretaker who must go to the store, what is she expected to do with the patient? Leave her home alone? Take her into the store (a bad situation)? Leave her in the car? I agree - depending on mental status, and physical too, it is not good to leave them in the car. But what are you supposed to do when a store visit is necessary and there is no backup? That is the problem that needs to be solved. And be courteous, calm and pleasant with the caretaker or you may lose her - and then what????????????//
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The answers to this question are many faceted because of varying conditions:
#1 It would NOT be safe for the elder to remain in the vehicle if he or she touches any instrumentation.
#2 It is a large burden on the elder and painful to move-from a seated to standing position, especially exiting the vehicle.
#3 It hinders the progress of the shopper, e.g. caregiver.
#4 There is a possibility of the elder falling in the grocery store, e.g. spilled liquid.
#5 It could be dangerous if the elder is approached by a criminal.
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The same thg happened to my mom she got out of the caregivers car got into drivers seat thank god no keys . It gets worse this caregiver leaves my 83 mom with dementia copd home alone and im sure he does it alot . She caught on fire from trying to lite a cig.he left on table ..now shes in burnt unit then transfers to skilled rehab in presby. And his butt still never got in trouble he takes all her money. Brainwashes her into believing he is only one there for her. She has told me this on a good day . Now in the rehab he rushes in when we have to let him or the poa know we coming to see her and time . Well yesterday i was not aware till the poa post on a freaking gofundme status she feel hmm where was he ..gone again ..
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If your mom still has her mind, I don't see it as a problem. Depends on how long the lady was in the store. My mom use to love to go to the store with me, got her out of the house. But the dementia is bad now so I don't do it.
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I'm pretty sure I commented on this years ago, but I'll chime in now too.
There is a huge difference between allowing someone mentally and mostly physically able to wait in the car, and leaving someone with dementia or profound physical limitations. I often left my mom in the car when we shopped for groceries, if it was hot or cold I let the car run but she usually shut it off before I returned. I didn't leave her at home because this was her only opportunity to get out of the house and after grocery shopping we went for lunch, usually just hitting the drive though and eating in the car at the park. I would never consider doing that with my mom as she is today because she no longer has the wherewithal to open a door or window or ask for help if she needed to, it is just common sense.
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My mother likes to run errands with me,, but sometimes she runs out of steam before we are done. She is frail but of sound mind. So she wants to wait in the car... BECAUSE she wants to SMOKE!!! So if it is a quick trip I let her wait there, with the windows down and the keys there in case she wants to lock up or play the radio! So I think it depends on the elder
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I believe it is actually illegal to leave an elder alone in a car. When I reminded my daughter about this she said "Enjoy your walk home Mum" I still drive myself and wear a panic button on my wrist. In fact I drove myself home after my hip broke and walked a few steps on it.
I went to renew my handicapped tags this morning and the town clerk remarked how fast time goes and this one will last for five years. I told her that at 83 I was doubtful if I would still be driving. "Well you never know" she said as I exited with my nice red walker.
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If it's not a good idea to keep pets or children in a car especially during hot or cold weather, why would you want to keep anyone else in the car, even the elderly? It sounds like someone didn't want to do their job, the elder could have been provided a wheelchair. At places like Rite Aid, you can get a basic manual wheelchair in the box off-the-shelf. Those folding wheelchairs are meant to be taken in the trunk or even the backseat. You can also put them in the back of a van or a pick up truck because fold up manual wheelchairs are meant for those who actually need them, especially if they depend on a walker
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I say, no, your mom should not be left in the car alone. Dementia and fall risk are two legitimate reasons that leaving her in the car unattended is not safe. Don't hesitate. Talk to the caregiver now - ask her about the trip and if she left your mother in the car. If your mother has dementia, she might not remember correctly. Whether she left her in the car or says she took her in, let her know she must never leave your mother unattended in the car. She needs to know your expectations.
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If she were my mom, I would be very concerned and would discuss it with the caregiver.
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Now that it is summer weather, don't leave anyone sitting in a hot car. imo.
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I know your mom isn't that bad off but my grandma and I sat in the car together waiting for drugs to be done. I didn't want to leave her alone in the car and couldn't bring her in as it's terrible to try to get her out of the car with her fighting and screaming and yelling to bring her anyway. So I sat with her in the car with the car running waiting for my sister to arrive to sit with grandma for a few minutes so I could run inside and get her drugs (it was with a UTI. Imagine an angry UTI person with severe dementia). Within 3 minutes she was squirming out of her car seat getting lower and lower. I tried to fix her but she just got madder and went lower. She weighs more than me so really moving her wasn't a true option. She gets to a certain point and puts her arms through variuos parts of the seat belt and then gets to another point squishing herself down but it doesn't work. Then she starts yelling, "HELP ME. HELP ME. HELP ME". People are walking by the car looking in to see her all squished up at the bottom of the car seat but obviously fine. I unbuckled her and dragged her back on the seat and with much wrestling, I got her buckled back in just in time for my sister to arrive. She got into the car and I went to get her drugs. Just in the amount of time it took me to get the drugs and get in line, she managed to try to climb out of the top of her car seat screaming once again on top of her lungs and wasn't listening to my sister who had unbuckled her afraid she was going to strangle herself.

I finally buckled her in and watched in horror driving as fast I could home, as she kept trying to do these moves while I was driving. It was a crazy day.

Moral of the story, I would never leave anyone with dementia by themselves in the car. She wasn't even left by herself but just had to sit there as if she was by herself and it was very dangerous.
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It depends. Is the person lucid? Is the person sleeping? How long will the person be left alone in the car? What is the season or temperature? How old is the person?
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I told my daughter I could report her for elder abuse if she left me unattended in the car and her reply was "Enjoy your walk home Mum"
This is a joke if anyone is confused. I am 78 and still drive myself but she does leave me in the car!
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I'm sure this question has come up more than once, or maybe I'm just remembering all the comments from this thread TWO YEARS ago.
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I will leave my mother in the car if I need to run into the drugstore. She is still of sound enough mind and does not wander. I could take her in with me, but that would mean getting her walker out of the trunk and moving very slowly. Something that would have taken 1-2 minutes would take 10 minutes and would involve a discussion about how she had to come in with me. Most likely she would tell me to take her home if I couldn't leave her in the car. Then I would have to return by myself.

Really we have to use judgment. Our brains don't turn to jelly when we become caregivers. :) I wouldn't leave a baby in the car, because someone could steal the baby. I wouldn't mind so much if they stole my mother. :D
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