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She needs meds to help her sleep. Possibly addressing her anxiety would help. She has always had an issue with calling anyone on the phone so basically needs one of us to do the calling for her. However only my brother has a POA for medical and he is not available during the Day and she is reluctant to ask him.

I will be visiting her soon and would like to know if I need for her to sign something for me to be able to discuss her condition and needs with her physician. Or will they talk to me since I am her daughter? She needs an advocate to speak for her since she has some sort of social phobia.

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You can be her health care proxy and your brother can be the POA. You just have to have her sign the paper work.
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To add something, see if you can get your mother to sign the forms about shared information (most doctors' offices have them), then her doctor can discuss her prognosis and care. At stage three know that pancreatic cancer usually has less than a 2% survival rate, and symptoms usually do not appear until in the later stages. My prayers will be with you and your mother.
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She can sign a release/HIPPA form so her docs can speak with you.. Have you thought about getting Hospice involved? They would be able to provide her with what she needs. They do offer a great service. Good luck.
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I agree with Ferris. I am not the POA so I don't get any news. For the insomnia, my neighbor when he had cancer would drink Mogan David wine and then he slept. Could she take ativan for sleep. Better get your POA brother on board.
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I'm so sorry you're in this predicament. I find it really strange your brother has poa....and I wonder if it's that oldest male child thing? If possible, encourage your mom to change over to you being her poa. After all, you are the only one who is doing anything for her. Melatonin could help, but she may need really strong medicine like cannabis in capsule form.
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As long as your mom gives permission for you to speak with dr., attny, phone company, Insurance, financial company, etc. you will not be able to change ANYthing. I have sat beside my dad while he gave permission over the phone to whoever I needed to speak with. He is very hard of hearing so he needs me to do all work. As you probably already know, you can't even speak on behalf of a spouse if they don't give permission. I pay all bills but they still need to talk to my husband for permission to speak with me on a couple of them because they are in his name. ANyway, just have your mom give permission either by phone or in person. They also have papers you can sign and take to them. Good Luck and God Bless.
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The pain from pancreatic cancer is going to be intolerable. My nephew, Jack Andraka has invented the test to detect for pan can when he was just 15, but it will take 5-10 for it to be marketable. Your relative will probably need synthetic morphine, aka Dilaudid. It seems strange to me that you are addressing your relative's sleep problem, rather than the HUGE PROBLEM AT HAND, which of course is the pancreatic cancer, or in scientist's terms, pan can.
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YOU SAID YOUR BROTHER HAS POA THEN NO ONE ELSE CAN DEAL OR TALK FOR HER EXCEPT HIM.
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All my husband has done is sign something at the doctors office Oking me to talk with the doctor and nurses. As long as the parent says it's OK, it's OK. My Mom always has a list. I have the POA but my siblings and daughter are Ok'd by Mom to discuss her treatment. A POA, financial or medical, does not mean the the person who had it written up doesn't still have say in treatment, etc. It's there for when the person can't speak for themselves.

Again, a Nurse of any kind, hospice, homecare, in a faciltiy cannot change a med or add a med without a doctors order. And, no matter where they are, you as their POA (or listed to talk to) has a right to question anything they are doing. If my Aunt hadn't asked a nurse what she was putting in my Uncle's IV, he would have died months before he did. He had a reaction to a lung med and was rushed to the hospital. He then went to rehab and for some unknown reason, the doctor there ordered the med that had almost killed him. I guess he didn't read my Uncles hospital records. Always question and know what is going on.
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Unless the POA signs something that you can talk to someone about her, then you just being a daughter does not give you any rights. The doctor cannot discuss anything with you unless you are the POA or have MPOA. Know that before your visit. You will get stonewalled, so do not say I didn't warn you (new HIPPA laws).
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I care for my elderly mother at home full time and it can be kind of overwhelming at times. Take a look at all her medications she is taking and look them on the internet to find side effects to those medications. Sometimes the medications are very much the cause. Another is to not give your mother anything sweet before she goes to bed or give her anything with caffeine. They increase stress levels during the night and will not let her sleep. Have you ever tried giving her some Camomile tea, it naturally relaxes you and would help her have a good nights sleep without waking her up through the night. If your mother has any concerns then take the time to listen to her, there might be an underlying cause that may be causing her to feel as she is. At her age right now, she needs a lot of reassurance that she can depend on someone and that she doesn't feel all alone. Your mom needs a lot of support.
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While Mom was in residential rehab, the visiting nurse from her doctor's office prescribed melatonin which helped her sleep and also allowed a reduction in her Seroquel generic dosage.

Melatonin is available without prescription in health food stores, pharmacies and even the supermarket.

We've continued this at home and six mg. of melatonin at bedtime works beautifully. I crush it and mix with a bit of applesauce.

Best wishes to you for a resolution to your challenge and blessings of peace for all concerned.
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Does your mom take long naps during the day? Keep her occupied and interested so she doesn't take these naps. She will be tired in the evening. Melatonin starting with 3 mg may help her get to sleep. If she wakes during the night, Calm Forte is a alternative that will not cause her to be sleepy the next day and can also be used to calm anxiety.
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There has been NOTHING that helped my lifetime of Insomnia, EXCEPT, SEROQUEL. My dose varies, 100mgs to 150mgs. It depletes CoQ10, give her this supplement if she uses it (2 a day). , Don't bother asking the doc if he's traditional, he knows "nothing' about supplements? ( l take, highly absorbable, CoQ10 from Life Extension) If she is on a lot of meds. pls. give her lots of Pro-Biotics, one's l trust, Dr.Mercola's, + (free Dr.Mercola's #1 health newsletter, a must have) l also like David Perlmutter MD's Probiotics, 3 a day at least ? Must reads. "Supplement your Prescription, Hyla Cass, MD), drugs deplete valuable nutrients in our body, she explains which drugs deplete which one's. Depletion of our nutrients creates further damage and illnesses ? Another must read, do it for her !! "The Disease Delusion" Dr.Jeffrey Bland, l was amazed a traditional doc told me about this, but, he is highly involved in Functional Medicine programs.. Need to ask more, fine w/me !!
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When my Dad was suffering through Cancer, he couldn't sleep unless one of us was right there with him. I used to put a recliner right next to his bed and hold his hand so he knew I was there. It helped a lot Once Hospice got involved, they kept giving him meds that reacted differently on him and once again he was wide awake, but with meds he became delusional I made them stop giving them to him He wasn't in pain so it was ok. I'm sure she is scared
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These POA's! Not available during the day because they work! What do they expect to happen in case of an emergency? Have Mom wait until the work day is over? Mom can change her POA's if she is competent which may be in her best interest to select someone more readily available.
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She'll need to sign a HIPAA form. As Babalou said, there's one online. All clinics have them, too. Once she's put your name down, you can talk with the doctor. You may also need a password, depending on the clinic so have her decide on this and then set it up with the clinic where the doctor who treats her is working.

Please keep us posted on how you both are doing,
Carol
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Google HIPAA. You will find a form mom can sign that will allow you to speak to her doctors.

Down the road, there is medical poa which allows you to make health decisions if your mom is incapacitated.

Has there been a discussion about Hospice? I seem to recall that you said in another post that no treatment was contemplated. If you have hospice, you can speak to the Hospice nurse about adequate pain relief and anxiety meds. Be well, my friend.
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