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How can I help someone who has just had a stroke accept their situation?

Asked by 1998anow | Nov 9, 2009

My 79 y/o father had a stroke and now his right side is immobilized. He gets frustrated as he was formally very active. How do I help him accept his current situation?

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Carol Bradley Bursack, Nov 10, 2009

Over the span of two decades author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Bradley Bursack created a portable support group, the book “Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.” Her sites, www.mindingourelders.com and www.mindingoureldersblogs

Acceptance is the key, and easier said than done. I'm assuming he is having therapy or has had as much as he can.

Does he use a computer? There are new voice activated programs available. I realize he probably doesn't, given his age, but I ask, as many in his group do.

Does he get to have time with friends? Being home bound can be very depressing to people, especially those who were once active.

Adult day care could be an option as they often have exercise equipment and there is a lot of peer interaction (in a good one).
He could go one day a week, or afternoons, or whatever.

He will likely not ever fully accept this limitation, but if you can find things he can learn and people he can enjoy, it will help. His doctor may want to see if he needs an antidepressant, though not all of those help, and it's often hard to find the right one.

Also, some counseling may help. Does he have a pastor, priest or Rabbi he respects? Talking with these people can help.

You and he are in a difficult position, and there is no magic answer. Watch for other ideas on this site.

Good luck to both of you.
Carol

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1998anow

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Nov 15, 2009

Thank you very much, I really appreciate this information. Some of your suggestions were thought about and I am anxious to try the others

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Aleeta

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Nov 16, 2009

Is there a stroke survivors support group in your area; our local hospital has a list of support groups in our area. Take him to a few meetings before you expect him to go alone, if he is able. Is there a senior citizens center in your vicinity? Our local facility has a pot-luck lunch once a week, domino & card games, computer access, local & out-of-town trips. If he needs your assistance, why not become a volunteer @ support group mtgs. or a volunteer at the senior center when he is there? Our local university also provides low/no-cost counseling for anyone, through their graduate psychology program. Both our local hospitals have low-cost senior groups (for exercise & socialization). He needs to see there are others struggling with similar limitations, and worse ones, and it takes time to accept one's limitations & loss , as well.

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