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How can I get my grandmother to do the physical therapy for her knee replacement?

Asked by kemilie  |  Jan 17, 2010

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My Grandmother, who is 80 and lives with us, recently had a complete knee replacement. She needs the other one replaced too but the Dr. said she needs to build some quad muscles before he'll do the next surgery. My Grandmother doesn't do nearly the physical therapy that she is supposed to be, and she's not senile, but on this topic she acts it. "I am doing it" (when she's not and she knows it!). I'm going to go crazy if I keep nagging her about it. Do you have tips? Are their pedometers that talk to you? Special watchers that have 12 alarms that can drive her crazy every hour and tell her to keep moving? Any way of tracking that's worked for anyone? Thanks for any input... she wants to be healthy (at least she says she does) and I want to help her, but I don't want to kill our relationship in the process

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Carol Bradley Bursack, Jan 17, 2010

Over the span of two decades author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Bradley Bursack created a portable support group, the book "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories."

 

As you've found, kemilie, we really can't make anyone do what they won't do. Nagging generally makes people resist. I am sure pedometers that talk may be available and in Internet search could turn up all kinds of gizmos, but if she won't, she won't. I would suggest telling her (since she doesn't have dementia or memory issues) that she knows what she needs to do and you want to help her. But you are done nagging. Then, let it go.

If you exercise, you could talk about how good it makes you feel. You could also talk with her friends or acquaintances to see if there is anyone with a similar situation as hers. If this person had replacement and actually followed through with therapy, maybe she'd listen. A lot of elders tune out family because they think they are being bosses around. With peers, they may be more open and even listen to them. Good luck. Remember, you can't make the choice for her, so don't let guilt eat at you.

Let her know you want to help and are there when she is ready.

Other than that - any ideas out there?
Carol

 
 

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bpryor01

Give a Hug

Apr 8, 2011

My Mom was under home health PT and OT. Despite their best efforts, she refused to exercise or even move whenever they weren't there. As a result, she failed to make progress and they discontinued her therapy. Now, she calls me whenever she wants to move and can't. I try to exercise with her, but she refuses. We had an ARNP in to evaluate her and it was recommended that she increase her anti-depression medication. I hope that works for her because she should be walking and moving. She's just getting weaker and weaker sitting around all day. Not to mention, transferring her is awful because she doesn't help.

 
 

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Eddie

Give a Hug

Apr 8, 2011

Use consequential thinking laced with a tad of fear factor, and let her make a choice. Right now she's not inclined to do anything; without nagging, ask her why. Perhaps rehabilitation means having to become self-reliant again and the loss of all that pampering and special attention. Perhaps she's scared of the pain of rehabilitation itself. Only she knows. Don't mean to sound like a Marine Corps drill instructor, but whatever the case may be the point of rehabilitation is to get better not to get over. She needs to understand this too.

The compassionate side of you doesn't want to inflict any more pain on her, so you probably let her be most of the time. Nagging is not working, so motivate her using the consequences of not complying with therapy. See if her doctor goes along with you. Good luck.

-- ED

 
 

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