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I'm ashamed that I feel drained and that I'm stressed from caregiving. How do I cope?

Asked by fernando | Oct 30, 2009

sometimes i am drained i have no energy, and i say thing i feel so guilt that my heart seems to break

Answers 1 to 6 of 6

Carol Bradley Bursack, Oct 30, 2009

Over the span of two decades author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Bradley Bursack created a portable support group, the book “Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.” Her sites, www.mindingourelders.com and www.mindingoureldersblogs

Please keep coming back to this site, but also seek some medical help. You may be suffering from depression - so common among caregivers.

You are not alone if you say something out of stress and then feel bad. You are not a bad person and don't need to feel ashamed. But you do need a healthy way to let go of those feelings, and people on this site will "listen." Most do not judge, as they've done the same themselves, so they understand.

That said, your lack of energy and even the shame could be helped by seeing your doctor and maybe even getting some counseling. Shame is something you don't need to feel, but you can't just bury it and say "I won't feel this way anymore." Most people need extra help to get to the point where they can "drop the guilt."

Please keep us posted on your progress. The caring people here will want to know how you are doing.
Carol

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anonymous5546

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Oct 30, 2009

fernando I used to be like that to. I now take a anti anxiety med and a anti depressant very low dosage than got six weeks worth of therapy at work. I am doing much better. I still have my moments its very frustrating just try to stop and think before you say anything because you know you can't take it back, fortunately for me my mother can't hear so she has no clue as to what I was saying. but the therapy along with the meds helps a great deal. Good luck to you and God bless we all know what a task we have and thank God we have this site and each other.

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lovingdaughter

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Oct 30, 2009

You are no different from the rest of us. We all go through these feelings from time to time. It is natural. Get help and keep writing to us. That is what we are here for. Also, listen to Carol(MindingOurElders); she is a Godsend to us. A voice of reason in a sometimes stormy sea.

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txmaggie

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Oct 30, 2009

Fernando, we are all here for you. Yours is a different situation in that you are living in Australia. I'm curious as to what kind of social services you have there. Are there agencies who can help your parents with their home care - maybe a visiting nurse agency or an agency for the elderly? Try doing some investigating to see what kind of assistance you can get. Taking care of elderly parents can be difficult and time consuming, as most of us on this site know. You are not alone. Keep writing to us - you have a great support group here.

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fernando

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Oct 30, 2009

thank you all, i woke this morning in a much more positive mind set, you see i hadn't slept the night before last and i was just exhausted. i have been to the doctors this morning he knows me well for i am in and out with the folks always he checked me out and found i have bronchitis and this make one feel that, they have no strength left, but my mind was better only because of the God sent wonderful people that i have found to be present on this page and in this community what a blessing for me to see such caring heart, and to read such battles going on by good people. I read through tears, but joy as well. For we would not be in this battle if we didn't love our folks with real love, you can't counterfeit this because this kind of love is the only one that weathers any storm. Carol what a nice lady you are i would love to read your book it would be so interesting and helpful i will see if i can buy a copy. But again thank you all for allowing my problem to be a part of all your life's, and then to pass such caring words that intern ease the weight that my heart felt. I can only say a very heart felt thank you, and may God bless and continue to keep you all, or better said all of us strong

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anonymous5546

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Nov 2, 2009

How are you dong today fernando?

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