I am becoming very frustrated with living with my mother. What things can I do to cope with these feelings?

Start with hiding all the sharp knives! My mother had a walker after she fractured her pelvis and after it healed, she preferred her cane, maybe she could use a cane around the house? Meanwhile, think about the long term and maybe look into the assisted living like Carol has suggested. After having my mom in my home for 8 years, I cannot say that it has been a picnic and that I wouldn't have done something else had I known everything I know now.

My mom in law has Alzheimer's. I am her fulltime caregiver. I put the baby locks on the drawers so she would not get into cabinets. I would suggest to lock up the dangerous stuff. At first I had to tell her "oh the drawer is broken" and would distract her with another conversation & she would then walk away & forget about the drawer. Also, I put these rubber locks on the stove. They are AWESOME. I think my husband got them at Home Depot or something like that.I would also replace all chairs that roll. Take down the stuff that is high up so she is not tempted to go up and get it. AS for your sanity.......find something that gives u an outlet. I like to play computer games (words with friends, farkle, strategic games, etc...)My husband & I have decided to take care of mom because we do not want to put her into a facility. We are seeking a live-in caregiver to help out 4 days a week. Go with your heart & do what makes you happy. Hang in there! :)

Zuma, you've got some good advice from the other responders. The thing I'd add to it is that you can drive yourself crazy trying to control something that isn't yours to control. Do your best with your mother, she deserves your best efforts after all she's done for you. Then praise yourself for your hard work. Mom won't do that. Tell yourself that the best you can do is good enough. No one has a right to expect more from you than your best effort. Your mother can make you work to keep her safe, but she needs your help to drive you crazy. Don't help her with that. Feel good about what you do. Do it because your mother did a million things like that for you before you were out of diapers. Do it with love and gratitude. Take control of your emotional state. I'm proud of you. Be proud of yourself. Good Luck. God Bless You.
Jonathan

Carol, I know what your going through. My mother can make me so short temperted with what she says or does. She has dementia and I know she can't help it. She feels useless, but I try and find things for her to do. But sometimes she won't do anything. She's in pain from hip surgery from last year and arthritis in her back. She likes to do dishes and fold towels. She also does Find a Word book most of the day. There just isn't much to talk about with her. I'm sure I will need more help as time goes by, but right now my husband or brother's will watch her for a while. Good luck to you.

Zuma, your mother has been home from the hospital now for several months. She apparently feels that she is healed, is stronger, and can resume activities she did before the hospitalization. Can she? Try to sort out the things that are truly dangerous from the things that make you nervous but which hold little risk.

You don't mention that your mother has dementia. If she is competent to make her own decisions, she is eligible to make them, even if you feel some of them are ill-advised.

Try to accept that you cannot eliminate all risks for your mother. All risks would not be eliminated if she lived in an assisted living facility. Risk is part of life.As caregivers we try to eliminate unnecessary or severe risks and to minimize others, but that is all we can hope to do.

Carol is certainly correct that not all mother/daughter pairs can live together. If you are in constant stress over how much control you have/don't have over your mother's behavior, your relationship might be better off if you didn't live together.

Whatever you decide to do about living arrangements, I wish you continued good relations with your mother.