My siblings and I feel it is time my mom didn&#39;t live alone any longer...how do we get her to understand this?

Jul 1, 2009

Life's critical decisions need to be made by individuals competent to do so. It sounds as if your mother is not competent to do so, and for her safety and well being some other competent individual needs to makec that decision. She may not go without kicking and screaming, but, as in the case of many dementia-related incidents, may forget all about it in a day or two. And you may find, as thousands of others have, that after a few weeks in a care facility, she may be as happy as at home (but in 24/7 care).

ssaulson

Jul 1, 2009

As mentioned earlier, sometimes an executive decision in the interest of a parent's safety has to be made. However, "success" in moving is measured by "cooperation" and "agreement." More powerful than getting the other to "see" your way is all parties sitting down to share their concerns, hopes, needs, and viewpoints with a skilled facilitator who is neutral, respectful, and concerned, as well as knowledgeable about aging and aging resources, and who will motivate all to find a workable plan.
Rabbi Scott Saulson, PhD

pmwilson2

Jul 1, 2009

It's hard for us to all sit down together...there are 5 of us in 3 different states. We do discuss it via phone and we are all on the same page that it's time for our Mom's living conditions change.

HeidiD

Jul 2, 2009

check online for referral services. some are able to help nationwide

pmwilson2

Aug 6, 2009

Thanks HeidiD....would you happen to know of a few links for those referral services?

NancyH

Jan 9, 2010

We thought we were going to have to blast my mother-in-law out of her house with dynamite. NONE of us wanted to be the one that forced her out. She was adamant about NOT leaving her home. Then what normally would've been a bad thing, turned out to be good thing. She fell and broke her hip! That convinced her that she couldn't live alone anymore, so we scrambled and moved her when she got out of the nursing home/rehab. We had already been looking for places before that, so when we got our window of opportunity, we were ready. She hates it, but she also knows it's the best thing for her. My advice, start looking around, find a place that those of you that are local like, and wait for the opportunity. Who knows, maybe you'll get 'lucky' like we did. ha.