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Here is a story and would like to hear what people think would happen:
Dad is diagnost with mild dementia, he is in his 80's, alone, windowed, depressed about it. He has no license, because it was revoked. He forgets to take his meds and forgets to eat, he get sick because of not taking his meds and ends up in the hospital. Or even worse, he falls and breaks a hip. If the local Social Service agency gets involve can they force him into a home ?

I have seen some posts on this, but I've not seen a definitive answer. I realize that maybe every case is different ? But I'd like to hear what the thoughts are ? My dad swears up and down "I'm not going in a home and that's my choice they can't make me." But really, can they ?

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Really ? You think that a 84 year old man with documented dementia can kick me out, his son ? And I have all the POA, Health Proxy (which I am for both) and dementia diagnoses documents. Wow this world is really screwed up !
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Here's how I see it.
If you are pushed out by dad...which he has right to do, then you or someone else could call APS of family services and they will investigate. They will minimally just make a phone call to dad and tell him services they can set up to keep him in his home but assist with welbeing. They may visit him in the house, ask questions, look around and observe his behavior. If the house is in order, he has his wits about him, they will offer some services. He can refuse the services and they will let it go and legally cannot force him into NH or other care. Unless he is found incompetent or incapable of making decisions or caring for himself and is in imminent danger...they can't do anything. If he is incompetent or living in squalor, then they would go to court, have him evaluated by couple drs and then they would place him if you refused to care for him. You might be able to still act as POA but likely will need your own lawyer.
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No the lawyer I hired told the judge I moved in and would be taking care if him and transportation. If you read, my dad took care of the POA himself. His doctor sent him to phsycologist who tested him and diagnos him.
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Sounds like they were both frugal people. Dad's mistake was driving when he no longer had a license, a sign of dementia. The big question is, was he legally adjudicated incompetent.? Did the Judge order you to be POA? Read the court decision thoroughly. The surrogate (family) court judge would be the one to determine he needs a facility. You seem to be the last straw and if he tosses you out, the judge won't leave him unsupervised.
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I also want to add, his wife took care of all financials, up until she passed.
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Seacoast, if he pushes you out, then social services comes back into the picture. If he pushes you out, you tell social services you are being forced out and let them handle getting a protective custody order. The forcing part comes from a court order, not from the social services. It's up to the Judge.
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I do have POA, HCP, when he was of sound mind he did set this up. My dad is as cheap as they come. When he, my girlfriend and I go out for dinner, he buys the cheapest thing on the menu and slips me the money for his meal. He won't even buy a coffee at Dunkin Donuts, but he will sit there with his so called friends that he has nothing nice to say about. I am fine taking care of him, but money always becomes a soar topic with him. And he says he can afford to pay me what he pays me.

Example: This is how he lived prior to me moving in and after he lost his license: get up 10-11 am, have coffee, go back to bed, etc etc, basically never leave the couch (yes he sleeps on a couch) won't sleep in the bed he slept in with he's wife after her passing, he pays his bills as needed. When his monthly income accumulated in his account, he would withdraw the excess and put it back into his investments. He never spends a dime, even if it was for a moment of fun. He told me that I was wrong for buying a ticket for a concert for $120, 11 row center. I had a great time and to me, worth every bit. Image he would have heart attack if I told him I waited 20 minutes for a $8 beer. LOL
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Hi Jeff, I assume about your age is around 50?, and you are taking care of your Father by yourself? Are you okay with this situation? Sorry too many questions, I'm just getting to know about you, you are still young and could make another career yourself again... Your father has over a million, why couldn't have for private health aid's? Or you are waiting for the inheritance from your Father? Social worker are not make your Father to NH, because you are the physical caregiver for your Dad, so each time he does discharge from hospital they will release of him to you..... if APS is involved, this mean SW will be at your Dad's house. I read your question and profile, but still I'm confused about your Q's... If you are the Father's caregiver what would do is reminds him for meds and meals, ADL (almost do for him) every days!!! Make sure you do have POA (finance and health) for your Father... good luck.
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My question is posed as my dad think he has the power to decide if he stays at home or goes I'm a home. I am is only family, I quit my job and moved in with him & moved 120 miles from my home, friends and Mom. Who thank god is quite health. Filed bankruptcy just prior to moving in. He did drive after revoked but got caught, which was just one more thing I had to take care of after signing his release from the hospital including responsibility with social services. My question is only to be sure what my dad believes is not true or true ? I don't want him to go in a home but he is trying to push me out for financial reasons. Oh, his cash and assets are over 1 million. Neither of us want the state getting involved and attaching it. He pays my bills which comes to about $250 a week. I think it's fare pay for 24/7 live in care. Please before you answer or ask more, reread my post. Thanks
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When your dad ends up in the hospital who comes and gets him when he's discharged?

There are no pat answers, it depends upon the situation. Obviously your dad has family who cares about him (you). Are you thinking he needs to be placed in a nursing home?

If you withdraw your support and walk away from your dad, yes, the state can step in and "make" him to into a nursing home. If your dad is living in a house I don't know how that's handled but I'm sure there's protocol for that situation.
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I have a question? Why aren't you or another family member taking some action? If you have read posts on here you would see they're mostly by either adult children or spouses taking care of parent or spouse.

It is up to the family to take some action, not the government.

Why aren't you do anything? You need to discuss this with family and someone is going to have to step up to the plate and either move in with dad for the time being, have dad move in with them, or hire a caregiver or two who can check up on him daily. Is he still driving even though his license is revoked? Because how is getting groceries?

The family needs to step in.
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