Member Profile

I miss my parents and wish I had them back even though it was very hard taking care of them. I am lost without them.

Well, It finally happened . Mom and dad died. They have no pain now and after 5 yrs taking care of them I am trying to get my life together

I had put my 89 year old dad to bed and put his sides up ( he is in a hospital bed at home) whom has Parkinson's and dementia, and as I was walking out of his room, I tuned around and heard him say t ...Read More

I had put my 89 year old dad to bed and put his sides up ( he is in a hospital bed at home) whom has Parkinson's and dementia, and as I was walking out of his room, I tuned around and heard him say to himself , there has got to be a way to break out of this bed.

My objective is to find caregivers financial help. I need help to spread the word .

We also have both my parent to care for. One having Parkinson's (dad88) and mon heart and many other things too long of list (86). I agree that it feels that we all age faster because of what we are ...Read More

We also have both my parent to care for. One having Parkinson's (dad88) and mon heart and many other things too long of list (86). I agree that it feels that we all age faster because of what we are doing but I have been taking care of them for 5 years 24/7 now and it takes a lot of patience as we all know. I can only suggest to all of you that are pure saints, take time for yourself . The quilt will be released. We all are doing the best we can do . Also as we all know , financially it takes a toll on you also. I've had to quit my job three years ago , to care for both of them. I'm 55 and probably going to be very hard for me to get a job later, but we just can't give up , I keep saying.
I only have one problem, and a big one which you all will probably agree. We can't live on love. Why isn't the government helping the caregivers and pay the ones that are actually living with the family member and unable to work. because of 24/7 care rather than having them in a home and then run out of money for their care , which in turn will cost the state which is us to take care of them. There goes the medicaid system. What are they thinking. We are not asking for much , jsut enough to live on or even just health insurance . I could go on, but I thing you all can relate. I'm sure many of you have lost a lot. Lets all stick together. As I said you are all saints and don't ever think anything less of yourselves.

We have respite through the county and personal care , about 25 hours . It really does help, but what I am saying is . I am scared to dealth , what I am going to do financially . They own their own h ...Read More

We have respite through the county and personal care , about 25 hours . It really does help, but what I am saying is . I am scared to dealth , what I am going to do financially . They own their own home but it's going to me and my brother when they pass. He does nothing . ( but that the way it is. They are very sick .Final stage Parkinsons ( dad ) and Corinary heart and a lot more my mom. God bless them and I love them but I don't know how much longer I can take this. They have very little income left . They do get Social security ( not SSI) They have medical and they are over not to be able to get assistance from Medicaid. I will take care of them but again , what will I do at my age when they pass. Why can't the goverment step in and tell the caregivers they will at least give us health insurance while we are taking care of our parents or someone. By the way , Florida does not pay caregivers for taking care of anyone. I called. But if we had to put them in a nursing home and they have no money, the state would pay the bill . and as you know it costs about $50,000 yearly and more if they stay there . We end up paying through our taxes . Lets try and keep our parents happy by letting them stay home and , then it would cost a lot less to pay the caregiver. The system sucks . No wonder the adult kids aren't able to take care of their parents . They can't afford it. SAD!!! I have nothing left. I'm not proud to admit I cry alot lately. Grown man crying , something is wrong. I just don't know anymore. Any suggestions . Thank you all of you for your support as always.

Well, I just got off the phone with Florida Unemployment and they are saying that because I left my job to take care of my parents , whom are very sick and in their 80's , with no one else to care for ...Read More

Well, I just got off the phone with Florida Unemployment and they are saying that because I left my job to take care of my parents , whom are very sick and in their 80's , with no one else to care for them and can't afford to pay out some one to do it, I will not get unemployment. I know there is more to it then that , but my point is, do they want to have wel-fair pay for my parents ( very expensive for taxpayers) or pay me the small amount of extension of umemployment , so I can take care of them properly .They should do the math!!!! YES, it was my choice. I gave up everything to do this and I am being damned for being a good son and caregiver. I was making a lot of money up North and gave it all up, including my home, to take care of my parents . I feel ,I are being punished for helping the most important people in my life out. What is wrong with this system? I want to get into a local activist group for the caregivers around America and fight to help caregivers out there like myself to receive health ins. and other benifits. Anyone know of any in Port Charlotte Florida or other groups. I am so mad right now . I better stop and breath and think . Any comments out there. HELP !!!

HI Lilliput,
I do receive some respite time and services from the county for them . I guess it's me . I just have to boost my self up and realize that I have to do something other than 24 /7 for ...Read More

HI Lilliput,
I do receive some respite time and services from the county for them . I guess it's me . I just have to boost my self up and realize that I have to do something other than 24 /7 for my parents only. I am constantly on the internet trying to look for work . I have gone out and looked for work a while back and when I got the job . Respite time changed from the company and messed up my working time . Bosses got mad etc.. etc.and now, naturally have to explain to interviewers my situation and then they never call me.How do you do it, with taking care of your mom and working also.Who watches her while you work? Respite will not watch parents because of work . That is stated in Florida at least. Sucks but that is the way it is. As far as my brother , he has tightened up his belt because of the economy also but for him to to contribute financially, he says he has lost a lot of money and is strapped himself. I just asked him , How was the BAHAMA'S Cruise he went on . Know what I mean? So anyway, I want to thank you for giving me advise . IT is really appreciated . I am still sorting things out. I always have looked on the internet for work at home jobs but so because of the scams, I don't know which ones are legit. Do yo know of any that work ? Again, thank you for your comments and I wish you all the luck in the world with your mom . Thanks for listening.

Here goes. I am living in my parents home to take are of them . One having Parkinson's and the other COPD with other bad things going on in her. Dad is 88 and mom 86 . I had moved down to Florida abou ...Read More

Here goes. I am living in my parents home to take are of them . One having Parkinson's and the other COPD with other bad things going on in her. Dad is 88 and mom 86 . I had moved down to Florida about 5 years ago. We just built a house in New York 5 years prior to our moving and then made the stupid decision to do this. We sold our house and left our $80,000 jobs. What was I thinking. We settled in Florida , got them to being independent but still needing some care . We bought a house near by , so we could watch and be close in case something happened. Well, as they progressed , they were unable to take care of themselves any more. We had to make another decision and therefore let our house go and moved in with parents to take care of them . This has been for 2 years now , full time . Well, everyone knows how the economy is and was a few years ago, we bought our home high and lost our ass on it, but we had no choice to move in with parents . We either stayed in our house and put them in a home or leave and move in with them. I've gone bankrupt now and lost everything. I know it was my decision and not my parents to do all this , but they are making me feel that I have to do this . Oh , I forgot , I have a brother, that has lived by them for a long time . You would think he would have taken care of them , so I could hav ekept my life back home . I wanted to do 6months up north and 6 months in Florida but he wouldn't . He said , he cant do it. To top it all off , he doesn't even work and has money . ( retired early) I love my brother but everyone is telling me to talk to him and help. I have and begged him also , but he has no response. Once I told himn a long time ago , when I first moved here , and we got into this huge fight in front of my paretns and my dad started to cry . I promised this would never happen again . It was haeart braking. I just swallow alot.So I know that it's my problem now anyway to keep taking on the responsibility and not have a life of my own. Well , the main thing why I am letting this out is , I am 55 years old male and have a life partner and he has been with me on this whole thing , but it is tearing us apart. We both know that we will probably never have what we had but we do want to have a life. I can't work , (I've tried ) but as you all know , it's a full time job especially with having twoof them sick. I love my parents and I told them I would never put them in a home . I still tell everyone I can't and won't do it. But I don't want to loose my partner. My partner and I constantly fight . We never go anywhere. As far as the sex part, put it this way, he tells me he feels like he has a roommate. I am jobless , broke, partner fimnaly got a job as a CNA and brings in 200.00 a week . WOOPTY DOO. Try living on that. I went bankrupt a few weeks ago and ruined all my great credit. but kept partners credit looking fantastic . But that doesn't help because he doesn't make enough money to get a loan for a house. I was the one that made all the money to buy a house . Well, I think I am going on a tangent SORRY. I know we have given my paretns a better quality of live , ( even the doctors say) if it wasn't for me they would have been dead. Everyone says I'm such a good son . Yea, Yea Yea . It's getting old. I think you all know what I am saying. I JUST WANT My LIFE BACK and don't know haw to do it. I ran a country club and had 75 employees and made many critical decisions but this is the hardest job I've even had EVER. I've even lost and can't afford health insurance. SO if I get sick . Guess what! I've heard it all from everyone. Well, we're still here and with my demanding parents . I don;t know if I will have to do this on my own soon , but I hope it all works out . Partner and I have been together for thirteen years and raised four kids on our own. I don't want to loose that. We're starting over with everything ,I just can't loose what we have. Well, I guess I will get back to my parents and see if they are alright. This 24/7 @^*# is stressful. What did I do I just don't know anymore. I hope anyone out there that has this problem , is not going through the same thing . IF so , god bless you . All of you out there taking care of someone you love . You all deserve the highest of respect and the best in life . When we get it , is another story.

thanks for your comments . I just want to keep it simple and split everything . I guess I really have to get the @##$# to stand up to my brother and tell him. While he is having a great life and I'm s ...Read More

thanks for your comments . I just want to keep it simple and split everything . I guess I really have to get the @##$# to stand up to my brother and tell him. While he is having a great life and I'm sitting here with absolutely nothing if my parents pass , I have to do something soon. Thanks guys , for giving me your opinions . Believe me , I still have my parents and I am thankful of that , but I'm thinking of later. I had one fight with him four years ago and almost killed my parents. I can't and won't have that. I guess I'll play it by ear for now . Thanks Guy's

I had moved into my parents home about 2 years ago. It has been a nitemare ever since . Please think twice about it . Once you are there, you will not be able to leave due to a lot of guilt. The onl ...Read More

I had moved into my parents home about 2 years ago. It has been a nitemare ever since . Please think twice about it . Once you are there, you will not be able to leave due to a lot of guilt. The only way you will be able to have a life again is if ( sorry for saying this) but if they pass. I now am just facing that I will not be able to have a life until then. I l;ove them very much , but please think twice before doing this biggest step of your life . Good luck . I know you'll make the wright decision. Go with your heart.

thank you to all of you . I will do that and dee what the outcome will be. Believe me, we all need comfort for what we are all going through.

Thank you brandiJ for your comment. We are going to seek an attorney . Matter of fact I just got off the phone with my brother and he will be talking to one this week .Just have to be careful on money ...Read More

Thank you brandiJ for your comment. We are going to seek an attorney . Matter of fact I just got off the phone with my brother and he will be talking to one this week .Just have to be careful on money. You know these lawyers sometimes. I hope it alll works out. I just don't watnt to sound like I' m being moeny hungry , but I don't have anything left and need to be careful After all I am 54 and living now in my paretns home . FUN WOW. I just wouldn't change it for the world. I am blessed that I still have them but Ijust don't want my parents suffering anymore also . What a dilema!!!!! Thanks again for your careing response. I love this site.

care of them,including house and job. Now mom is in rehab and not expected to come home while dad is still home. I owe my life partner a lot of money because of him taking care of them with me. It was ...Read More

care of them,including house and job. Now mom is in rehab and not expected to come home while dad is still home. I owe my life partner a lot of money because of him taking care of them with me. It was agreed that we would pay him 400.00 aweek which he hasn't seen a dime. He said he doesn't want it now. ( What a guy) Question: How will that work when my parents have about $130,000. and we think the nursing home might take it all which is rightfully a lot of my partners money and mine because I have lost so much in the last four years. Also , they have the house with now a $100,000 mortgage which has about $30,000 in equity. I just don't watn tthem to take all dad's money and house . CAN THEY? Anyone have this going on with their parents?

Well, today was a okay day for dad with his Parkinson's and Demenia. It is a day by day thing I guess. Just hard seeing him go down as you all know.

I am a male 54 years of age and been taking care of my dad and mom since 2005. I feel all of your pain in seeing our parents going down slowly . My parents are 87 and 85 , dad with dementia and Parkin ...Read More

I am a male 54 years of age and been taking care of my dad and mom since 2005. I feel all of your pain in seeing our parents going down slowly . My parents are 87 and 85 , dad with dementia and Parkinson's and mom with Nerapathy and heart problems and arthritis through her whole body. All I can say is, it is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life . I gave up my job and home out of state to move to Florida and take care of them . So my family and I packed up and here we are 4 years later and nothing. But you know , I have my parents and they can't be replaced and that's what keeps me going, as well as my kids and partner. We are all in this together and know it is a day to day experience. Those of you like myself with no job and doing 24/7 care for our loved ones are gods gifts, I feel . I guess we were the ones chosen. ( By the way, I'm not religious but do pray alot lately ) I have family that says they will help[ , but doesn't . Does that sound familiar? Well, all of you out there that are caregivers for a family member know that you are being watched over and will be paid back for your overwhelming kindness and dedication. Keep your chin up and we're all in this together

I too am tired of taking care of both my parents . One with Parkinson's and one with just all kinds of so called alements. Dad with Parkinson's is a hand full but still is a fighter but mom is a comp ...Read More

I too am tired of taking care of both my parents . One with Parkinson's and one with just all kinds of so called alements. Dad with Parkinson's is a hand full but still is a fighter but mom is a complainer , complainer , complainer . I have to do everything for her and we are all mad at her because she lays in bed all the time . She hasn't been out of her bedroom in two weeks. Dad with Parkinson's is worried about her and making him worse. We moved and sold and quite everything to do this. I guess it was more than I thought. It is the hardest job I ever had in my life and I became a 54 male caregiver now with nothing. BUT , i wouldnt trade it for the world. I'm thankful I have them around at 85 and 87. I 's just really hard. Keep smiling guys , it has to get better. We are all great people and will be rewarded someday somewayor another. KEEP SMILING!!!!!

I have been mom's caregiver for almost 3 year and she has norapathy and thinks everything else. I am always trying to explain to her why she should move around but she yells at me. She just tells me h ...Read More

I have been mom's caregiver for almost 3 year and she has norapathy and thinks everything else. I am always trying to explain to her why she should move around but she yells at me. She just tells me how rotten she feels. I try to explain to her why she feels this way. All she does is walk to the bathroom and back to her bed. (This takes her a long time as it is but at least she is moving.)
She hasn't been out of her bedroom in at least two weeks , I am extremely fustrated. The doctors tellher as well as everyone else including my dad which has Parkinbson's. I have him in the hospital till tomorrow and he will be coming home and I don't want him to be upset again over this whole thing.I can's get her up . What do I do? I've tryed everything but scream at her. HELP!

I have been taking care of my parents for three or more years , with moving into a assisted living facility about a year ago that did not work out. So they have been back home and I have moved into t ...Read More

I have been taking care of my parents for three or more years , with moving into a assisted living facility about a year ago that did not work out. So they have been back home and I have moved into their home to take care of them with my family. My partner decide to get his CNA licnese and has been taking care of them with me . If he wasn't here , I don't know what I would have done. We originally moved from upstate New York which we quit our jobs and left our beautiful newly built home but had to make a decision which , for me, was a no brainer. We had to go and take care of them .So we moved to Florida and ever since have a 100% change in our life. My father is now in final stages of Parkinson's with dementia and mom has nerapathy and heart desease. They need 24/ 7 care and I am also going through many things with my personal life and at my witts end also . I just keep taking deep breaths and saying to myself , " It 's okay". I don't want to keep babbling on but what does one do when we are taking care of both parents . I'm in the process of foreclosure on my home because of my job loss,lost my own health ins because I can't afford, trying to comfort my daughter with MS , taking care of my son which he is Bi pollar and is ADHD, I think you can get my picture,i DON'T THINK i SHOULD GO ON WITH MY BORING STORY . I just wanted to let people know out there that we all have to talk it out and educate ourselves on these deseases. You will be rewarded for it , I do believe and I have to beleive this. Good luck to everyone out there and keep up the good work . We're all in this together.