Answered a question 9/1/2009 at 4:18 am
Well first of all you sound like you're being a great support to your sister in this. Good for you. In the short term, I'd make sure she knows that the phone's always there for her - dealing with this
...Read MoreWell first of all you sound like you're being a great support to your sister in this. Good for you. In the short term, I'd make sure she knows that the phone's always there for her - dealing with this kind of behaviour is easier when you have someone to talk to, daily, if possible.
Secondly, it's a question of a family conference , I think, if you can make it to your mum's. If you & your sister sit down with her and explain the situation, and how much it is affecting everyone, it might help. Since she won't accept assisted living, try out other ideas with her - at the very least a home help once a day if possible, who can prepare and give lunch, do some cleaning, and and help her bath. That way she gets one good meal and her normal standards back.
Your mum needs to see that it is no good leaning on your sister like this, as eventually your sister will break, and then what? Joining a support group might help too. Obviously she is insisting that she is independent, which is great (my father just gave up), so the idea would be to keep her independence for as long as possible while maintaining her normal quality of life. And to take the strain off your sister!
best of luck!