Answered a question 12/6/2011 at 12:29 pm
Bottom line..you CAN'T get your siblings to help if they are selfish, uncaring people. And especially if they are dysfunctional.
I hear all the time from each sister, which both of them live 900
...Read MoreBottom line..you CAN'T get your siblings to help if they are selfish, uncaring people. And especially if they are dysfunctional.
I hear all the time from each sister, which both of them live 900 miles away in different directions, how I SHOULD do things, or why am I doing it like THAT, you know,, trying to make themselves feel like they are contributing with a phone call when in all actuality it feeds coals to the fire.
After Mom set her bedroom on fire in May, with either a match or one of her beloved cigarettes TOSSED INTO HER DRESSER DRAWER (which is why you all haven't heard from me in such a long time) I just gave up and pretty much threw in the towel. I swear to GOD this woman is not from this galaxy. it is a situation that only God Himself will have to actually come down here and change her. After letting the sisters know what occurred, I get a sad face sign :( in my yahoo messenger chat response from one sister, and the other one said, "just let it go", it's not worth it. Put her in a nursing home. After watching my Dad suffer in one, and I JUST won a lawsuit proving negligence and a doctor stating they contributed to his death, it is STILL hard for me to "stick" Mom in a nursing home KNOWING what is in store for her. I have prayed and prayed and begged and made deals with God to change this situation, but it just seems to get worse. The language that comes out of her mouth is actually something I never thought she knew how to use. She won't bathe, she constantly destroys the house, shredding toilet paper, throwing food, throwing away groceries that I JUST brought into the house, and before any of you say "oh that's the dementia", STOP in your tracks. This is not dementia, this is a narcissistic woman who I believe regrets having any children, who had numerous affairs on my Dad during the 55 year marriage, mostly when she was younger, but then again when she was in her 50's, so you wanna talk dysfunctional? I am a 51 year old MAN, who has stopped his life in it's tracks to tend to a woman who is selfish and hateful beyond words. Why? The only reason is because she is my Mother, and to be perfectly honest? I have too much time invested now to just allow the State of Illinois to come in and take my inheritance. Taxes to pay self proclaimed administrative staff at school districts is high enough, I refuse to allow the State to suck me completely dry.
So, all that being said, I have decided to go legally and ask for quit claims to be signed by each selfish sibling so when the day of reckoning coes, it will be a smooth sail. Sometimes you have to hand back the poop that is handed to you. I chose to stop cowering under the nicey nicey way...if I'm gonna be running the show, it's gonna be MY way or the highway. Just because they are related to you doesn't mean you have to like them OR that you have to associate with them.