Commented on a discussion 6/10/2010 at 10:43 am
Yes, I completely understand! Being a fairly new caregiver, I am very cautious in giving advice to more experince caregivers and can only tell my experience. My mom and dad are decent people, but as a
...Read MoreYes, I completely understand! Being a fairly new caregiver, I am very cautious in giving advice to more experince caregivers and can only tell my experience. My mom and dad are decent people, but as a child our home was not perfect and many resentments were felt throughtout our family. My parents were rasied to believe that children were to be seen and not heard and they held value in only what they contributed to the household. So, when my father became completley blind and mother coudl no longer care for him on her own, we (me) had to step in and help. At first, this gesture seemed more than noble and I patted my self on the back for being the "dutiful daughter". But it wasn't long before the realailty of the situation came to light. My parents still considered me as a child unable to make a sound decision, or someone that was after their money and belongings. Or worse yet, felt my other SIL's coulddo a better job even if they (my SIL) made it clear they didn't want the burden of caring for them. And was not going to support me in any decision I made for their care. So for the first year I acceptted the guilt and manipulation and the verbal abuse that my parents gave me. So, in order to save my meantal health, I began distanceing myself from them and doing less and less for them and when they called for help I informed them to call my SIL's for the help. It didn't take long for my parents to realize what their situation was and understand that their help was very limited (mostly me).I think once I started standing up for myself and let my parents realize that this has to be a two-way realationship in order for it work, it became much more bearable for me. Sometimes you must lose something before u see it's goodness. I know everyone's situation is different and may not be possible to walk away- but sometimes it's the best solution! Just my 2 cents worth!