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Marcia (september21)
Age: 57
Gender: Female

I am 55 and live with my 88 year old mom whom I am very close with. Her aging is causing me sadness, anger and much distress. She is not ill and can take care of herself but she is old and it is very hard for me to deal with living with her. I have always lived with her so I feel this is not the time to leave because I would miss her and worry about her but I am suffering depression and anxiety.

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cmagnum commented 2/21/2011 at 4:57 am

In light of the fact of living all of your life with your mother, I think you are experiencing separation anxiety from her because one day you will be not only alone but also on your own. Your journey ...Read More

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AgingCareTeam gave a hug 11/1/2010 at 1:39 pm

Happy National Family Caregivers Month!

National Family Caregivers month is about honoring yourself as one of the 65 million family caregivers in this country who take care of their loved o ...Read More

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lsmo64081 gave a hug 12/10/2009 at 5:13 pm

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momneedshelp gave a hug 11/9/2009 at 8:55 pm

I wish I knew the secret to life and why things happen to us all and the pain we endure. I don't understand why we have to watch our mothers the one who we love so much decline. I have a bottle of m ...Read More

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NeilB gave a hug 10/30/2009 at 6:13 am

It does get better. Times can be tough and discouraging but just take it one hour at a time.
Neil

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gettysburg gave a hug 10/26/2009 at 8:51 am

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SecretSister gave a hug 10/12/2009 at 5:46 pm

Blessings to you, as you care for your mom. Praying you have God's comfort during these days. Take care!

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LindaLSmith gave a hug 9/23/2009 at 11:43 pm

Dear September 21,
someone else might not know how much it tears our insides out, while we're taking care of someone we love. Someone who hasn't ever experienced that, can't even relate to what ...Read More

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LindaLSmith gave a hug 9/23/2009 at 9:46 pm

Thank you, so much. Your caring and comments really helped!

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cece commented 9/9/2009 at 10:06 am

Get a medical check up. Mother Theresa said the first thing is to be healthy yourself. It happened to her when she first started out.

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ezcare gave a hug 9/5/2009 at 9:31 am

do it for your mom if not for yourself!

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lcs gave a hug 9/4/2009 at 11:11 am

Thinking of you and your question. Before I would even dare to attempt an answer, I would need to know a lot more about the situation. But it is not good that you are suffering from your current emot ...Read More

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1215 gave a hug 9/3/2009 at 7:47 am

Just realized september 21 was the day my mother passed away in 2002. WE live in SC but I was with my mom for a month in MD before she died and had been back and forth many times before. I had to ta ...Read More

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marylee gave a hug 9/3/2009 at 5:31 am

I can sympathize with you. My Mom is 77 and has late stage dementia. I have been her sole caregiver for one year now. Hospice tells me we are very close to the end of her long journey with this awful ...Read More

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Commented on a discussion 11/9/2009 at 1:53 pm

My family and friends don't understand why I'm sad and anxious watching mom's gradual decline.

Thank you momneedshelp for your feedback. It is sad to say that I do not feel enjoyment anymore when I am with her. All I feel is sadness and anxiety and want so much to feel happy that she is healthy ...Read More

Answered a question 11/1/2009 at 12:00 am

Is it right or wrong for an elderly parent to pay their child for care?

If your parent is willing to offer the money and they can afford it by all means take it. You are caring for an elderly parent which can be difficult and stressful as I am caring for my 88 year old Mo ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/31/2009 at 12:58 am

Soooooo Stressed! My Sister Refuses To Help With The Care of Our Mother

Dear John
I am a caregiver for my 88 year old mom. I have 2 brothers who live in the area and a sister too. I feel so alone in this as the only one that calls is my sister. My mom is healthy but ...Read More

Started a discussion 10/29/2009 at 11:54 pm

My family and friends don't understand why I'm sad and anxious watching mom's gradual decline.

I have been living with and caring for my mom who is 88. I am filled with sadness and anxiety watching her gradual decline. My family and friends do not understand my feelings and are telling me I am ...Read More

Answered a question 10/29/2009 at 11:46 pm

Are there are others out there who are raising kids and parents?

Yes ...... My sister has 4 kids and helps to care for her inlaws.

Commented on a discussion 10/28/2009 at 10:47 pm

I am dealing with a lot of emotions as I watch my Mom progress in age. Can any caregivers tell me if it's normal to feel grief and anger and

Well ... I did see a psychiatrist today who adjusted my medication and gave me something to calm me but I don't feel the effect. I came home and decided that whatever medication I take, the anxiety a ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/26/2009 at 12:36 pm

I am dealing with a lot of emotions as I watch my Mom progress in age. Can any caregivers tell me if it's normal to feel grief and anger and

Thank you gettysburg - My mom is healthy but it is distressing for me to see her age and how it will progress in a negative way. I hate to say that I do not enjoy being with her and that is very sad b ...Read More

Started a discussion 10/26/2009 at 12:17 am

I am dealing with a lot of emotions as I watch my Mom progress in age. Can any caregivers tell me if it's normal to feel grief and anger and

what can I do to make myself feel better ? I want to be compassionate and loving but I feel negative emotions instead. What would help me? She can take care of herself but I feel depressed at this stage in her life.
...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/22/2009 at 2:41 pm

A year ago my mom passed away from cancer. I'm still grieving

I also too lost a brother to a tragic car accident. It takes a long time to get over the loss and deal with the grief. You will find happiness again - just take one day at a time.

Commented on a discussion 10/20/2009 at 11:55 pm

A year ago my mom passed away from cancer. I'm still grieving

Hi Tina
You must have been very close to your mom and there is no time limit for grief. We all handle it differently. I am very close with my mom who is 88 and I am grieving already because as sh ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/17/2009 at 10:42 pm

I am asking all of you wonderful caregivers your opinion of my situation. I am caring for my Mom who is 88 and mostly healthy and I am in

Thank you. I have been on antidepressent medication for over a year and do not feel better. I am also taking an anxiety medication which does not help much either. I have an appointment with a psychi ...Read More

Started a discussion 10/17/2009 at 8:38 pm

I am asking all of you wonderful caregivers your opinion of my situation. I am caring for my Mom who is 88 and mostly healthy and I am in

counseling because of the stress and anxiety I am feeling in her aging. I have only seen this counselor 3 times but feel worse when I leave her. She understands my feelings of pain at the thought of l ...Read More

Answered a question 10/12/2009 at 5:24 pm

Am I making the wrong decision to want to care for my mother at home?

To MKandy -
I'm not sure we can direct our questions to someone but I admire you and how you love caring for your mom. I love my mom with all of my heart but it is so hard for me to face her agin ...Read More

Answered a question 10/4/2009 at 7:03 pm

What book will help me with all of my emotions in caring for my mom and watching her decline?

Thank you ... I believe the root is that I have lived with her my entire life and in reality she has been my life and what will I be or do without her. I am in counseling at this time and hopefully i ...Read More

Answered a question 10/4/2009 at 12:24 am

Am I making the wrong decision to want to care for my mother at home?

That is a hard question because it can be difficult and I am not sure if anyone knows the answer. My 88 year old mom lives with me and her aging is depressing for me to watch. I love her with all of ...Read More

Asked a question 10/4/2009 at 12:20 am

What book will help me with all of my emotions in caring for my mom and watching her decline?

Commented on a discussion 10/4/2009 at 12:11 am

Dealing With My Aging Parents

I understand completely how you are feeling. My mom is 88 and lives with me. She is healthy but I can see the aging that my family members do not see on a daily basis. It is VERY HARD. We always did ...Read More

Answered a question 9/25/2009 at 11:17 pm

I am in counseling to cope with the sadness and distress I feel watching my mom age. Is there a certain type of counselor I should see?

Thank you all for your replies. I have an appointment this Tuesday with someone who is a Social Worker and she seemed very nice on the phone. I am going through some terrible emotions and really need ...Read More

Asked a question 9/23/2009 at 10:37 pm

I am in counseling to cope with the sadness and distress I feel watching my mom age. Is there a certain type of counselor I should see?

Is there a certain type of counselor I would be better off seeing or is a social worker OK. I feel that my feelings are too intense and I am concerned about myself and the way that I feel. Thank you

Answered a question 9/19/2009 at 3:54 pm

My main problem is my emotional response to living with my mother and becoming her caregiver. It seems I'm frustrated ALL the time. How do I take better care of me?

I am on an antidepressent and also anxiety medication. I do not feel any better and I cry every day. I am too close with my Mom and this is why it is so hard for me. Yours is a good question because ...Read More

Gave a hug to lisam 9/17/2009 at 1:28 pm

Thanks ......

Answered a question 9/16/2009 at 10:35 pm

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed from caregiving?

Many times I retreat to my room and pray for strength when I feel overwhelmed and sad. It helps for a while and I try to consider her feelings about her aging and probably hating it. She tells me eac ...Read More

Answered a question 9/16/2009 at 10:28 pm

How do I handle sadness and depression in caring for my mom?

Yes, it is hard to see them age and to miss them as they were when they were younger. We cannot change ourselves back. I hug my mom every day and she gets annoyed but does not understand the pain that ...Read More

Answered a question 9/13/2009 at 10:46 pm

My main problem is my emotional response to living with my mother and becoming her caregiver. It seems I'm frustrated ALL the time. How do I take better care of me?

Hi Linda
My mom is 88 and I live with her. I am having a hard time seeing her age and slow down and drop things and I have to repeat my self a number of times as she refuses to see a doctor about ...Read More

Asked a question 9/9/2009 at 10:54 pm

Are feelings of impatience or frustration normal with caregiving?

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