Commented on a discussion 8/25/2009 at 11:10 am
To: Nataly1. I want to clarify that my Mom has her own home with no mortgage, has excellent insurance coverage, has pensions from her work and my Dad's, plus some savings. She is very, very fortunate, believe me.
...Read MoreTo: Nataly1. I want to clarify that my Mom has her own home with no mortgage, has excellent insurance coverage, has pensions from her work and my Dad's, plus some savings. She is very, very fortunate, believe me.
She needs 24/7 care due to her dementia which is diagnosed as moderate but not due to physicial disability. She is in great health. Mom wants to be in her own home and was there until my sister, the POA, moved her to her home in a different city without any consultation of her siblings or with Mom. Mom could pay for in-home care.
Right now 3 siblings rotate her care and we are not concerned about transportation costs or anything related to that aspect of her care. Her needs are all taken care of because of my parents' wise planning and frugal lifestyle. I agree that good caregiving is done out of love. My siblings and I have always lovingly cared for our parents.
My concern centers around the fact that my sister, the POA, acts unilaterally as the decision maker and not as part of a caregiving team. She has taken advantage of my Mom's savings because she refuses to act as part of the team and refuses to recognize that we must prepare for Mom's future needs.
Please understand that discussion with a lawyer must take place when the parent/parents are not in any way incapacitated. This did not happen in my Mom's case. Mom's lawyer was unknown to her--not a family attorney with history of my Mom's case. This is the primary problem.
Yes, she is well-cared for and one could argue that it is best to leave well enough alone. Cutting my sister some slack will leave Mom vulnerable to her undue influence and possibly with absolutely no savings/income for the future. Who will take up the slack then? romerovelarde