emjo commented
1/9/2012 at 12:05 pm
Wanted to respond to this now too - "the hurt never goes away does it?" No, not entirely because, I think, we are healthy people, and a need for a good relationship with our parents is "built into" u
...Read MoreWanted to respond to this now too - "the hurt never goes away does it?" No, not entirely because, I think, we are healthy people, and a need for a good relationship with our parents is "built into" us. I don't know that that need can ever be totally extinguished. I looked for mother figures most of my life, as the last person I wanted to be like was my mother. The more I accept her as she is, with all her problems, and some good qualities, the freer I am to be myself. I aim have compassion for her, but also to be detached and to maintain firm boundaries for my own survival. It is not easy, and I do not achieve it all the time, but am improving. I don't seem to need mother figures any more. I guess at my age (74) that is appropriate lol. I miss my dad too, and he died many years ago. You are still actively grieving only a year after his death. (((((((hugs))))))
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