Gave a hug to
pamela6148 12/30/2009 at 6:52 am
I hear you, and what you are going through. I took care of my mother in her own home from the time she was 89 until now, nearly 94. My sister committed suicide, and on my mom's birthday yet 2 years
...Read MoreI hear you, and what you are going through. I took care of my mother in her own home from the time she was 89 until now, nearly 94. My sister committed suicide, and on my mom's birthday yet 2 years ago. So I've been doing this by myself for about 4 years. It has been very difficult, and I got shingles, and had anxiety for a long time. I had agency help. What I did was call her community Office on Aging, and they recommended an agency that was willing to come in for one hour each day. That gave me a break. I'm still teaching some classes even though I'm almost 70. So someone had to go in every day and make sure she got up and dressed, and took her medications. And then I had various people, friends and neighbors, check on her during the day. She was ok until the night she tried to run away. That's when I knew it was over. She was trying to go back to the home she lived in with her parents as a child. Trying to find the car she drove 50 years ago. She fell in the drive, with no coat, hit her head, and was lying there calling for help, and fortunately a neighbor heard her, got her indoors and called me. I got her into the hospital.
Even though I said I always wanted to keep mom home, no matter how much outside help we needed, it is absolutely necessary that she be in a facility now. She is trying to run away to a place that doesn't exist, and really doesn't know who I am when I come in any more. That just happened overnight.
Today is moving day. I'm having her bedroom suite moved to the dementia ward, which is really lovely, a unique concept, and she will have her own room. I am going to try to make it as cozy and beautiful as I can. And I will visit her several times a week. I have to admit I am less stressed, and am sleeping nights, not worrying about what is happening with her. She used to call me in the middle of the night and ask me to bring her a glass of orange juice.
My best advice is to just take it one day at a time, get help from the community if it is available, and do your best to take care of yourself. I got NO help from the family, but now, they are there to criticize every decision I make. I'm having to detach from them just not to get angry. This whole thing is not easy.
Hang in there.