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Yvette (oneandonly)
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Location: Franklin Square, NY

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luvmom gave a hug 11/9/2011 at 8:24 pm

Freakinfabulous you are, thats for sure! Cheers to you for keeping your Mom with you and your family! I am doing the same thing here. I have a great husband, adult children, and siblings that do nothi ...Read More

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mariesmom commented 10/31/2011 at 9:39 pm

I am so sorry or your loss. I buried my Mom 6 weeks ago after 3 yrs of caring for her at home, where she died. It was a hard road, but I am healing now, rebuilding my life, just putting one foot in fr ...Read More

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stormy gave a hug 8/27/2011 at 12:57 am

Hello oneandonly, my dad had alot of itching going on his back a few months before he was diagnosed with the thyroid cancer. And I have read that that is one of the signs of cancer. He has not had any ...Read More

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Angelblessed2 commented 3/10/2011 at 3:56 pm

I truly sympathize with your situation and wondering if you've tapped into all the resources available to help you. For ex: Adult daycare, senior activities, church services and activities, a senior f ...Read More

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anonymous13319 commented 2/23/2011 at 10:16 pm

Yvette, so good to hear from you....I wondered how things were going to work out with your Mom's "control issues" and all. I see from your profile that she is 98...so you have been doing something rig ...Read More

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anonymous13319 commented 2/11/2011 at 10:13 pm

Yvette, my heart goes out to you. You are under tremendous pressure and I fear that your health (and mental health) will begin to suffer. Can you hire and in-home health aid to come by a few hours a d ...Read More

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AgingCareTeam gave a hug 11/1/2010 at 12:48 pm

Happy National Family Caregivers Month!

National Family Caregivers month is about honoring yourself as one of the 65 million family caregivers in this country who take care of their loved o ...Read More

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crazycatlady gave a hug 7/19/2010 at 8:14 pm

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RebeccaLynn gave a hug 4/10/2010 at 7:12 am

Hi oneandonly. Oh you really made me laugh when I read your comment. My mother has also said she is on the verge of dying. In fact, she's ALWAYS done that. Even when I was little, I remember he ...Read More

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anness gave a hug 3/18/2010 at 8:52 pm

Yes, yes and yes. We are so similar in our thoughts and feelings. I too am the only one to care for my 87 yo mom who I love dearly, but so often I wonder If I will have any life left to live. Did y ...Read More

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pamela6148 gave a hug 1/30/2010 at 12:07 pm

A special hug for a special person.

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1215 gave a hug 8/14/2009 at 8:29 pm

I am so glad you are getting away. Just remember that you are doing a fantastic job and you have done all you can. I have had to practice letting go and letting God. I know that sounds trite to som ...Read More

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Answered a question 11/9/2011 at 4:02 pm

When does it become easier to cope with a parent's death?

My mother passsed away on Oct 27,2011. She was 98 and lived with me for the last 5 years. I am an only ( but I have a wonderful husband, children and grandchildren) although I was the primary caregive ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/31/2011 at 8:32 pm

Rebuilding Your Life After the Death of Your Care Receiver

I just buried my mother today after taking care of her in my home for the last 5 years. She suffered for a long time, especially at the end of her life and I was "hospice". I was with her when she too ...Read More

Answered a question 8/22/2011 at 10:20 am

How long does a cancer patient have to live when the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes?

my 98 yr old mom has metastic breast cancer that has spread to her chest wall, ribs and lymph nodes along with many tumors in her breast. This is her second bout with breast cancer. First time was 34 ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 6/22/2011 at 12:46 pm

As dad's full-time caregiver, I secretly wish he would hurry up and die. How can I control these thoughts?

I have been struggling lately with all of the above thoughts. My mom is 98, lives with me for the last 5 yrs. She has breast cancer that has spread,(it has taken 10 years) does not want hospice( she t ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 5/7/2011 at 5:46 pm

Did Your Mother Really Know Best?

It felt so good to read that I am not the only one having a hard time buying my mom a mother's day card. They are all so mushy, warm and fuzzy and that is not my relationship with my mom now. Maybe a ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 2/10/2011 at 8:07 pm

Help with Hospice

It is not that the people from hospice that were doing anything really wrong, it is my mom who drives everyone nuts. She has been on alot of different meds for pain and finds something wrong with all ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 2/2/2011 at 1:29 pm

Help with Hospice

I actually just had a really tough day. My mom would not take her morphine last night. She thinks because the morphine helped her pain a little that if she didn't take it she would go quicker. She doe ...Read More

Gave a hug to moore21 1/27/2011 at 2:39 pm

Moore21
Just thought you needed a hug to tell you how special and wonderful you are.
From one caregiver to another
oneandonly

Commented on a discussion 1/27/2011 at 12:51 pm

Help with Hospice

Thanks for your comments. We do belong to a church however I need someone with medical knowledge to help her to bathroom,meds etc. when I am not here. They can only send someone to keep her company an ...Read More

Started a discussion 1/27/2011 at 8:47 am

Help with Hospice

My 98 yr old mom started on hospice this week. I thought that there would be more coverage but Medicare only pays for home health aides 3-5 times per week for 2 hours and visits by the nurse 1-2 times ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 1/1/2011 at 6:17 pm

Mom has terminal cancer and isn't sick yet, but I want her to pass before she is in pain. Does anyone else feel this way?

Just reading the recent posts and I am always so relived to know that the feelings that I have(wanting this to be over) are shared my so many of other caregivers.
...Read More

Gave a hug to moonbeam 8/11/2010 at 8:17 pm

Moonbeam
I am giving you a big hug. I too am an only caring for my 97 yr old mom. My patience is almost nil after 4 yrs of constant caregiving. I am now going to therapy to help me deal with ever ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 7/22/2010 at 11:13 am

"I Secretly Wish My Elderly Mother Would Die"

Jodigirl, I think you are missing the point. The forum is we "secretly wish our elderly parents would die". I have never told or indicated to my mother that I wish she would die. She prays for that he ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 7/21/2010 at 8:33 pm

"I Secretly Wish My Elderly Mother Would Die"

Well, I just came from my therapist who I starting seeing because of all the guilt, resentment, etc. of taking care of my 97 year old mother who has lived with me for the past 4 yrs. Guess what she sa ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 7/19/2010 at 5:10 pm

"I Secretly Wish My Elderly Mother Would Die"

My 97 year old mother says she wants to go every day.(I told her just go then) The doctor said she thinks she is sicker than she really is. Takes no meds just a sleeping pill on occasion. She has been ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 5/6/2010 at 8:45 am

"I Secretly Wish My Elderly Mother Would Die"

I too wish my 97 year old mom would just go to sleep and not wake up. She does have health issues but who doesn't at 97! However she is very negative, always right and sometimes dramatic. I know she h ...Read More

Answered a question 4/7/2010 at 11:45 am

Has anyone else avoided their mother because of her negativity?

Hi RebeccaLynn,

My mom and your mom could be one in the same. My mom too lives with me, she is 97 and always negative. She says she is ready to go(die) so I am wondering what is taking so l ...Read More

Gave a hug to anness 3/18/2010 at 9:06 pm

Thanks for the hug!!!! I needed that!!!! I am sending one back to you too!!!

Commented on a discussion 3/18/2010 at 8:40 pm

As dad's full-time caregiver, I secretly wish he would hurry up and die. How can I control these thoughts?

I am so glad that so many of you have the same feelings and that we can tell them here!!To say them to anyone else sounds so terrible. NO ONE can understand me like another caregiver can!!!.
...Read More

Commented on a discussion 3/17/2010 at 2:41 pm

As dad's full-time caregiver, I secretly wish he would hurry up and die. How can I control these thoughts?

Dear DebiKay,
I could have written your comment.
I too have the same wish and the same situation. My mom(97) has lived with me for the last almost 4 years. It has been very stressful to say ...Read More

Answered a question 2/26/2010 at 3:44 pm

I'm curious to know about how many of us caregivers are only children as I am?

Hi All,
I am an only to my 97 yr old mother who has lived with me for the last 4 yrs. It has been a challange to say the least. She was a tough cookie before she lived with me and it has only got ...Read More

Wrote on pamela6148's wall 1/30/2010 at 6:38 pm

Thank you so much for the hug. I wish my mom would give me a hug and thank me but that won't ever happen so I just keep on going.......thanks again for the prayers and hugs. Same to you!!

Commented on a discussion 1/30/2010 at 11:55 am

I'm Angry With My Sister

Hi All,

Whenever my days are really bad, I just log on to this site and see how many of you are all in the same boat as me. Caregivers are never given the thanks that they need. I totally a ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 9/7/2009 at 8:31 am

Needing to vent: Our parents are like children.

Hi Ladies,

Just wanted to let you know that I sent my mom to respite at an ALF last month for 4 days as we had an out of town family wedding. She survived but let me know that she would not ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 8/14/2009 at 2:24 pm

I have been having overwhelming feelings of sadness from anticipatory grief and from what seems to be the withdrawal of my longtime friends.

Hi 1215,

When I read your post, I felt that I could have wrote it. My mom is almost 97 and has been living with me for the last 3 years. I am an only so I get to be the only caregiver......lucky me.
...Read More

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